After more than two months out of work, The Programmer lands a consulting job . . .

Good news: I get paid and I need the cash.

Bad news: I work for a guy who delivers insights like

“See, now it’s not just about working better-faster-cheaper, it’s about working smarter!”

in the tone of someone who just found a cure for cancer, or who thinks that without him, we’d all be actively seeking out ways to work stupider.

More good news: He doesn’t micromanage my work, because he has no comprehension of what it is I actually do.

Thus spoke The Programmer.

• Who cares?
• What’s your point?
• Serves you right.

He sometimes abbreviates them as “WC?”, “WYP?” and “SYR.”

Another favorite — borrowed from Calvin and Hobbes/Spaceman Spiff — is you say something to him and he responds,”‘GLOP GLOP GLORP.’ The alien being is trying to say something.”

Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki with Sharon L. Lechter C.P.A.

And I know a father who had a son
He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he’d done
He came a long way just to explain
He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping
Then he turned around and he headed home again

— Paul Simon, “Slip Sliding Away”

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

— John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester

You might get the idea from reading this book that being rich is synonymous with being happy. I’ve never seen any indication that that’s true.

Continue reading HW’s Book Reviews

Clara “Auntie Em” Blandick

Clara Blandick was born June 4, 1880, aboard an American ship in the harbor off Hong Kong.

She appeared in over 100 films, most notably as Auntie Em in The Wizard of Oz (1939).

In later years, she suffered from severe arthritis and failing eyesight.

Continue reading HW’s True Hollywood Stories

The hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

— William Ross Wallace, “What Rules the World”

Motherhood meant I have written four fewer books, but I know more about life.

— A. S. Byatt

The joys of parents are secret, and so are their griefs and fears.

— Francis Bacon, “Of Parents and Children”

Ohio executes man who killed woman with knife

— Reuters

His attorneys sought clemency on the grounds that he had been a “model prisoner.”

I think if that’s the best thing you can say about someone, it’s time to go ahead and kill him.

Footnote: That’s a terrible headline. Did he kill a woman who had a knife? Was he executed with a knife? Some people might argue that that’s cruel and unusual, although I wouldn’t oppose it personally . . .

If I can’t understand it, the management probably doesn’t want me to understand it. And if management doesn’t want me to understand it, there is probably something wrong going on.

I saw a guy at lunch today who’d dyed his hair red and spiked it, making him look more like a real life Heat Miser than anyone I’ve ever seen . . .