I swear to God this is a real email from a once-promising manager with degrees from Brown and Princeton, who recently accepted a new position as Chief of Staff to the CEO, and now uses her Ivy League education to put out emails like this:
Effective immediately please ensure that all written communications at [insert company name here] have a minimum font size of 12. In particular, [insert CEO’s name here] has asked me to convey that he will be ‘throwing away’ any communication he receives (over email or on paper) that does not meet this criteria [sic].
Please call me with any questions or comments, and hope everyone has a great weekend!
I always say if you’re going to misuse the word “criteria,” at least do it in a highly readable 12-point Verdana font . . .
Thus spoke The Programmer.