My wife wants a massage . . .

“Moderate pressure or deep?” I ask.

“Deep . . . AAAAHHH! Moderate!”

To parents who wish to lead a quiet life I would say: Tell your children that they are very naughty — much naughtier than most children. Point to the young people of some acquaintances as models of perfection and impress your own children with a deep sense of their own inferiority . . . This is called moral influence . . .

— Samuel Butler, The Way of All Flesh

One of the moms from my son’s hockey team tells me that there’s too much “silliness” on the team, that the kids need to prepare for games with a little more seriousness.

Continue reading Sports Parents Are Ruining the World

Absolute moral certitude through the ages

I read today where someone called the new pope, Benedict XVI, “a tremendous intellect” because he speaks 10 languages and has written 40 books.

I don’t know if that’s true, but let’s say it is. What are the 40 books about? His unquestioned acceptance of everything he’s ever been told?

Continue reading Frequently Wrong But Never in Doubt

Explanations of daily changes in aggregate stock market indices are among the most ridiculous, speculative, and uncertain causal inferences made by journalists . . .

Continue reading Evidence?!

Today I saw a woman driving a car with a license plate frame that read:

How ominous is that? It’s a threat, really. Get ready to have “I’m not happy” brandished as a weapon against you for the rest of your life.

You see, the wife can’t figure out how to be happy, therefore the husband must devote all of his energy and attention to figuring out how to keep her happy, solve her problems, and somehow get her through the day.

And what if, as a result of this, he is not happy? Who cares!?

Be very careful, young man, is what I’m saying here . . .

I was listening to some hockey moms topping one another with stories of horrible punishments handed out by their husbands to their misbehaving kids . . .

I wasn’t able to participate because I’ve never really punished my son in the way of grounding him or taking away privilieges.

Continue reading Crime and Punishment