My wife is a sales agent for Auto Club insurance. She’s using a little after-dinner quiet time to review the monthly Top Producers document. She’s always around the top, but because she took a two-week vacation recently, she dropped down the list this month to around number 30 — still not bad out of hundreds of agents. Our son, however, is not impressed. Read more →
February 2006
No Pants
My 12-year-old son just got out of the shower and settled into his bed for a few games of Solitaire on his iPod. His mom is not happy that he didn’t bother to put any clothes on. “Wear some pants,” she says to him. “No pants!” he yells. “I’m free!” Read more →
A Pessimist Looks at History
…Let me get this straight, we sent how many tanks and planes over there, it’s already been one full day and they still haven’t made it off of those beaches. Give me a break. How much money is being spent on that army again? Well I know I won’t be cheering for the abolition of fascism in Europe if this continues… — Posted on June 7, 1944 Read more →
Inspirational Quote of the Day
There is one bright spot at the back, at the beginning of life, and afterwards all becomes blacker and blacker and proceeds more rapidly—in inverse ratio to the square of the distance from death. — Leo Tolstoy, “The Death of Ivan Illych” Read more →
My Dog Recaps the Westminster Dog Show
This pug, Ch Kendoric’s Riversong Mulroney, won the toy group at the Westminster Dog Show. He has won 65 Best in Shows. Read more →
Another Sign That Civilization is Circling the Commode
Fantasy NASCAR Read more →
Cartoon Violence
Of course you know this means war. — Bugs Bunny Muslims are offended by cartoons portraying them as violent fanatics. Naturally, they’ve responded with violent fanatacism. I’ll say one thing for these people, they know how to stage a lively protest. Yesterday, a few protestors got so enthusiastic that they had to be killed. Hamshahri, a prominent Iranian newspaper, has launched a cartoon counter-offensive: a competition for Holocaust cartoons. Hey, I’ve got an idea! You have a drawing of Hitler standing at a podium, big swastika behind him, addressing a packed hall of Nazis, and he says “I think I may say, without fear of contradiction . . .” HA HA HA HA HA! (Okay, I stole that from an old New Yorker cartoon, but how many people in Iran take the New Yorker?) Read more →
Earthquake Preparedness
A colleague of mine had a vacation planned, visiting some friends out of state. Then a psychic told her that an earthquake would strike California during that week, so she cancelled the vacation to stay home with her family. If I really believed that an earthquake was going to hit on a certain date, I’d make sure that I was out of town. Of course, I’d hope that my child made it through okay. And my dog. As for my wife, there’s nothing wrong with our relationship that a couple tons of rubble wouldn’t fix. Read more →