Chance favors the prepared mind. — Louis Pasteur Today is the dumbest day of the rest of your life. If you’re doing a software project, you should know at least a little bit more about the project tomorrow than you do today, the next day a little bit more, and so on. Don’t get into detailed decisions and plans at the beginning of the project. Defer decisions to the last responsible moment; that’s when you’ll have the best information available. Upfront planning is not for the purpose of generating plans, which quickly go obsolete, but for the purpose of creating prepared minds with which to face the uncertain future. Read more →
November 2006
How to be a Notre Dame Fan
Via Rumors and Rants: Read more →
Black Father of the Year
NEWPORT BEACH — Two Los Angeles residents believed to be a father and a daughter were arrested early today near John Wayne Airport on suspicion of burglarizing four local businesses, authorities said. Donald Perkins, 48, and Kenesha Perkins, 28, were pulled over for speeding at about 3:15 a.m. near Dove Street and Newport Place Drive, said Sgt. Evan Sailor of the Newport Beach Police Department. — Orange County Register Kenesha Perkins is a lucky girl . . . most black fathers are not actively involved in their children’s activities like this . . . Read more →
USC 44, Notre Dame 24
The difference in team speed between USC and Notre Dame in last night’s 44-24 Trojan victory was mind-blowing. Running backs turned the corner with ease, wide receivers blew past safeties . . . The signature play was a 4th-quarter onside kick by the Irish, fielded by USC’s Brian Cushing — a defensive end — who ran it back 42 yards for a touchdown. No blockers . . . just ran right by everybody. When a defensive end on the opposing squad can outrun your entire kick coverage team, well, you better believe that you are way too slow. FIGHT ON! Read more →
Driving a Car at Night
E. L. Doctorow once said that “writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” You don’t have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice about writing, or life, I have ever heard. — Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life Read more →
Having a Dream
How I thought it worked was, if you were great, like Martin Luther King Jr., you had a dream. Since I wasn’t great, I figured I had no dream and the best I could do was follow someone else’s. Now I believe it works like this: It’s having the dream that makes you great. It’s the dream that produces the greatness. — Barbara Waugh Read more →
We Have Been Distracted
We have been distracted by colleges and the PMI. We’ve been told if you want successful projects, then do those things recommended by the ANSI standard for project management. What is that standard? It is the PMI Body of Knowledge®, ANSI/PMI 99-001-2000. (Did you notice the designation of the registered trademark? Trying to refrain from cynical comments let me say might there be commercial interests involved?) We’ve been told to do more of what we’ve been doing. To get more people certified by PMI, to do a more comprehensive job of creating project schedules, and to always keep our CPM schedules up-to-date. It seems to me doing more of the same only benefits the status quo: the providers of software, training, and consulting. Yet we all know of projects where they are doing everything PMI recommends, and the project is still late, over budget, missing key functions, or all three.… Read more →
People I Thought Were Dead
Bowie Kuhn – Major League Baseball commissioner Updates Bowie Kuhn – died 3/15/2007, age 80 Read more →
Happy Thanksgiving
Things I’m thankful for this year: Nothing lasts forever. Read more →
Hu’s on First
“No, my man, I be askin’ you who set to offer Pakistan nuclear plants.” Read more →
Convergences
When 8th grade vocabulary words come out on the same day that Mr. T’s new show is on the TV, you may find your kid saying things like this: “I pity the fool who’s a debacle like you.” Read more →
American Pastoral by Philip Roth
But in Old Rimrock, New Jersey, in 1995, when the Ivan Ilyches come trooping back to lunch at the clubhouse after their morning round of golf and start to crow, “It doesn’t get any better than this,” they may be a lot closer to the truth than Leo Tolstoy ever was. The fact remains that getting people right is not what living is all about anyway. It’s getting them wrong that is living, getting them wrong and wrong and wrong and then, on careful reconsideration, getting them wrong again. That’s how we know we’re alive: we’re wrong. Maybe the best thing would be to forget being right or wrong about people and just go along for the ride. But if you can do that — well, lucky you. He had learned the worst lesson life can teach — that it makes no sense. And when that happens the… Read more →
Divorce Wizards
I was walking through a business park in Newport Beach today when I saw a company called Divorce Wizards . . . I am the Divorce Wizard! With a wave of my wand, I free you from the shackles of matrimony! I cleanse your mind of bitterness and recrimination, as though the whole sorry episode never happened! Uh, thanks . . . can you make me twenty years younger again too? Read more →
Let the Rubes in on the Gag
If there’s any justice, David Letterman will one day be recognized as the father of our era. Like other great men, Letterman knew that Americans were dumb as rocks but still had their pride, so if you were going to feed them the intellectual equivalent of hogslop, you had better flatter their intelligence at the same time. . . . Let the rubes in on the gag. Call the pet tricks “stupid,” make the showbiz flash-and-rattle even stupider than it needed to be, and cheerfully represent yourself as the hollowest of hollow men, and the suckers would applaud not only your twaddle, but the label on the twaddle that said it was twaddle. — alicublog Read more →
Ed Bradley: 1941-2006
Ed Bradley died today following a lengthy illness. Here’s an excerpt from an interview with Ed a few years ago: I’ve heard the words “compassionate listener,” “soft-spoken,” “instinctive,” “intelligent,” “maverick,” and “trailblazer” used to describe you. How do you define Ed Bradley? I guess all of those things fit. How about “untalented and unaware of it” or “surprisingly full of himself”? I’d have liked to buy him for what he was worth, sell him for what he thought he was worth and pocket the difference, which would have been quite a tidy sum. Read more →
Popsicles and Crucifixions
My creative-writing students say they’re postmodern, too. One wrote the relativist sentiment that popsicles and crucifixions were equal; I said it depended on which you were offered. — Oronte Churm Read more →
Improving the Joke
There was a recipe for Kitty Litter Cake circulating at work today. The joke, as you can see from the picture, is that it looks just like a box of used cat litter. Ho hum. A better joke would be to circulate the recipe, tell your co-workers that you’re going to make it for the next department potluck, then serve them a real box of cat litter. Bon appétit! Read more →
The Brotherhood of Teeth
My son’s having some teeth extracted tomorrow as part of his orthodontics regimen. “I’M NOT GOING!” he shouts. “MY TEETH ARE A FAMILY! THEY CAN’T BE SEPARATED! YOU CAN’T SEPARATE BROTHER TOOTH FROM BROTHER GUM!” Oh, what an impassioned speech it was — the way he made the teeth come to life! I’m going to almost cry tomorrow when they come out like fallen soldiers . . . Read more →
This Will Be My New .sig File
Chris Rock on marriage: Fellas, when you wake up in the morning, you should look yourself in the mirror and say: Read more →
The Sheriff of the Dog Park
Hi everybody! That’s me, Lightning Epps, subduing an over-aggressive puggle at the Irvine dog park. I am like the sheriff of the dog park; I don’t start trouble but I don’t mind finishing it. Last week, I was chasing a pug named Blossom around and having a great time when a male husky ran up and started harassing Blossom. These big dogs think they can get away with anything where pugs are concerned. I snarled and charged at the husky. They never expect that. He got confused, ran straight into another husky and knocked it over. Everyone laughed. Then I went back to find Blossom and hump her but she wouldn’t let me. That’s gratitude for you . . . — Lightning Read more →