Via Best of the Web Today: “Obama Breaks Silence on Gaza, Voices ‘Deep Concern’ Over Civilian Deaths” — headline, Ha’aretz, Jan. 7 “Obama Voices Concern About Freed Guantanamo Inmates” — headline, Reuters, Feb. 2 “Obama Voices Concern About Pakistan” — headline, New York Times, April 30 “Obama Expresses Concern for Tissainayagam” — headline, TamilNet.com, May 2 “Obama: Long-Term Joblessness a Concern” — headline, CNN.com, May 20 “Obama Says North Korea Nuclear Test a ‘Grave Concern’ ” — headline, Reuters, May 25 “Obama to ‘Voice Concerns’ in Egypt Speech” — headline, Hill, May 29 “Obama Concerned at Sentence of Journalists in NKorea” — headline, Agence France-Presse, June 8 “Obama Names Video Games as Health Concern in Speech to A.M.A.” — headline, GamePolitics.com, June 15 “Obama Has ‘Deep Concerns’ About Iran’s Election” — headline, Newsweek Web site, June 16 “Obama Concern About Oil Speculation Unchanged-W.House” — headline, Reuters, June 18 “Obama Expresses… Read more →
June 2009
How Korean Markets Keep Prices Low
My wife’s in a great mood. She’s just back from grocery shopping at the local Korean market, where fresh produce is sold cheaply. “Guess how much for these,” she says excitedly, holding up a package of eggs. “How many are there?” “Twenty.” I haven’t bought eggs in years so I have no idea how much they cost. I’m thinking of guessing $1.99 but I don’t want to undershoot the real price and take all the fun out of it for her. “Two ninety-nine,” I say. “Ninety-nine cents!” She’s now holding up a small carton of fruit. “How much for these?” she asks. “What are those?” “Boysenberries.” “Ninety-nine cents,” I say, since that was the right answer on the eggs. “Thirty-three cents! How can they sell this stuff so cheap?” “They sneak around local farms by night, stealing eggs and boysenberries. It’s the only possible explanation.” Read more →
Team Player
“Mom, can you drop me off at the park for basketball?” “Not now, honey, I’m on a business call.” “People are waiting for me! YOU’RE KILLING MY TEAM!” Read more →
Greatest Tweet Ever
I say to my ex: “How can you ask if he’s your kid? You can count backward from his birth to one of the two times in six years we had sex.” — Penelope Trunk Read more →
Classification of Books You Haven’t Read
From Italo Calvino’s If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler: Books You Needn’t Read Books Made For Purposes Other Than Reading Books Read Before You Even Open Them Since They Belong To The Category Of Books Read Before Being Written Books That If You Had More Than One Life You Would Certainly Also Read But Unfortunately Your Days Are Numbered Books You Mean To Read But There Are Others You Must Read First Books Too Expensive Now And You’ll Wait Till They’re Remaindered Books ditto When They Come Out In Paperback Books You Can Borrow From Somebody Books That Everybody’s Read So It’s As If You Had Read Them, Too Books You’ve Been Planning To Read For Ages Books You’ve Been Hunting For Years Without Success Books Dealing With Something You’re Working On At The Moment Books You Want To Own So They’ll Be Handy Just In Case Books You… Read more →
EppsNet Restaurant Review: Anaheim White House
Pasta e fagioli — amazing! Linguine with shaved truffles — exquisite! Service — impeccable! My wife had the veal liver. I don’t even like liver but I tried it and loved it! They can make you like things you don’t even like. It’s not inexpensive — that needs to be mentioned — but if you feel like helping to spend the country out of this recession we’re having, I think you’ll really enjoy it. Read more →
The Half-Full Glass
I put a half-full cup of soda from Extra Mile in the fridge and went out to run some errands. When I got back home, the soda was gone. “What happened to my soda?” I asked. “I cleaned out the refrigerator,” my wife said. The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty and throws it out, even if it belongs to someone else . . . Read more →
Hot Dog Diplomacy
Iranian envoys hoping to get a piece of American pie, or at least a hot dog, will have to wait. The invitations extended last month to Iranian officials to attend Fourth of July celebrations at American embassies have been rescinded, reports The Times’s Mark Landler. — NYTimes.com Credit: misscharo I hope that’s because they continue to murder their own citizens in the streets and not just because they failed to RSVP in a timely manner. I stand side by side with President Obama in my support for human rights and opposition to totalitarian autocracy! NO IRANIAN DIPLOMATS WILL BE ALLOWED AT MY HOUSE FOR JULY 4 FESTIVITIES! Oh yeah, we’re playing hardball now . . . Read more →
Kodachrome
Kodachrome You give us those nice bright colors You give us the greens of summers Makes you think all the world’s a sunny day, oh yeah! I got a Nikon camera I love to take a photograph So Mama, don’t take my Kodachrome away — Paul Simon, 1973 Kodak takes your Kodachrome away — csmonitor.com, June 22, 2009 Read more →
Another Way to Tell When Your Relationship is in Trouble
I saw these husband and wife profile photos on a Facebook friend list: The photo on the left is the husband’s profile photo. He looks like a more effeminate, French-looking version of the Dos Equis guy. The photo on the right is the wife’s profile photo. You’ll notice it’s the same photo, but she’s taken a page from the Stalin revisionist history playbook and removed hubby from the photo. And note that she didn’t just crop him out, which would be the easy thing to do. She went to the trouble of firing up some photo editing software, erasing him, and recreating her bustline against the new background. She’s just not that into you! Read more →
Wanna Be Starting Something
Seen on Facebook: Original Poster: RIP Michael Jacokson! Commenter: Michael Jacokson died on the same day as Michael Jackson? How bizarre is that? Original Poster: OMFG really!! I think the death of Michael JACKSON is more important than a freakin typo! Commenter: So Michael Jacokson is still alive? THANK GOD! Read more →
The Triumph of My Pedagogical Method
Northwood High School grades came out today. My son got A’s in all of his classes. He won’t know that himself until Saturday night because he’s currently incommunicado at Children of the Corn camp, but the honors classes at Northwood are anything but a slam-dunk A, even for the best students, so we’re very proud of him. He’s become a lot better at managing his time and plotting out academic strategies, down to the level of selecting the right background music for study sessions. He’s still not as proactive with his teachers as I’d like him to be, but behavioral modification takes time. You can offer ideas, but until an idea and the kid’s readiness for the idea converge, nothing happens. Years may go by. For example, he just recently started setting up more study groups with his friends, a mere four years after I first mentioned to him that… Read more →
Icons Are Falling Like Dominoes
Twitter: 2009-06-24
Stop masking passwords? http://bit.ly/xv7xt # RT @tweetmeme Stunning Illustrations of Female Game Character (CAUTION: They are HOT!) http://tinyurl.com/lfloru # Read more →
Welcome to “The Obama Show”
During the eight years of the Bush administration, liberal outlets such as the Huffington Post often accused the White House of planting questioners in news conferences to ask preplanned questions. But here was Obama fielding a preplanned question asked by a planted questioner — from the Huffington Post. — washingtonpost.com Read more →
Cat People
My wife and I saw Up yesterday at the Irvine Spectrum. The movie features a “talking” dog — a whole pack of talking dogs actually. When the main dog character meets the main human character, the dog jumps up, licks his face and says, “I have just met you and I love you.” If dogs could talk, that’s exactly what they’d say. After the movie, we walked over to Spectrum Pets and looked at a puggle puppy. Same reaction — jumping, face licking. I have just met you and I love you. Of course, there are some people who feel that they don’t deserve this kind of unconditional love. We call them “cat people.” Read more →
Goofus and Gallant
President Bush was unreflective and cocky for playing golf amidst serious world events. President Obama’s “frequent golf outings reflect a cool self-confidence.” Read more →
Church Camp
My son’s at a church camp in San Jose for the next week. He doesn’t actually go to the church, but friends of his do, and he’s been to this camp with them before and liked it. He left yesterday morning, which was Fathers Day. That’s the first thing I don’t like about this camp, that they take the kids on Fathers Day. The next thing I don’t like is that they collect the kids’ cell phones when they arrive, so they can’t call home except in cases of emergency. “I thought churches were supposed to teach kids to honor their parents,” I say to my wife. (She’s not sympathetic to this line of inquiry. She thinks all churchgoers are good people although I’ve never been able to see the correlation.) “They’re probably up there right now telling the boy his dad is going to hell . . .” Read more →
Feeling the Burn
It’s a warm early summer day here in Southern California. As I come back to the office from lunch, a colleague is setting up one of those windshield screens to keep the sun from shining into her car all afternoon. Toughen up, sweetie. I like my steering wheel to be blazing hot when I return to my vehicle. The pain reminds me I’m alive. AAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Read more →
Too Much Collegiality
The men’s and women’s restrooms at our office face each other across a hallway. Neither one of them has a double-door entry for privacy. If you push open the door to the men’s room, you’re looking at a row of sinks, but if you’re coming out of the men’s room at the same time someone opens the door to the ladies’ room, you’re looking right at the stalls, including ankles and feet if anyone’s in them. I’m all for collegiality in the workplace, but isn’t this overdoing it? Even at home, I don’t mind if people close the bathroom door . . . Read more →