If you leave the final s off the word assess, spell-check will not flag it as an error. This was an accidental discovery, like penicillin. # I saw a kid walking around today wearing a ski cap. A SKI CAP!? IT'S 93 DEGREES! Wearing SKIS would make more sense! # Read more →
August 2009
Teddy’s Accomplices
He dared us to call his bluff, and, when we didn’t, he made all of us complicit in what he’d done. — Mark Steyn Read more →
Satan on Ted Kennedy
One of the things Ted Kennedy and I have in common is that we both love Chappaquiddick jokes. Ed Klein, a Kennedy friend and biographer, was on the radio the other day and said: I don’t know if you know this or not, but one of his favorite topics of humor was indeed Chappaquiddick itself. And he would ask people, “Have you heard any new jokes about Chappaquiddick?” That is just the most amazing thing. It’s not that he didn’t feel remorse about the death of Mary Jo Kopechne, but that he still always saw the other side of everything and the ridiculous side of things, too. HAAAHAHAHA! I hope you like heat, Teddy! I look forward to swapping jokes with you in Hell. Have you heard this one? Q. What do you call 200 Kennedy sycophants at the bottom of a Chappaquiddick pond? A. A great start, but bad… Read more →
Ghost World
REBECCA: This is so bad it’s almost good. ENID: This is so bad it’s gone past good and back to bad again. — Ghost World Read more →
Morality is Insignificant
Fidelity to a personal code of morality would seem to fade in significance as the public sphere, like an enormous sun, blinds us to all else. — Joyce Carol Oates Read more →
Ted Kennedy and Mary Jo Kopechne
The most fitting eulogy I’ve read for Senator Kennedy . . . A Senator from Massachusetts has left office in the only manner possible for an incumbent Democrat, i.e., in a coffin. The New York Times leads off their story on Ted Kennedy’s death with “his sometimes-stormy personal life.” When I think of Ted Kennedy, though, my first thought is always sadness at the death of Mary Jo Kopechne, a promising young woman killed by Kennedy, who waited more than eight hours before seeking help for her rescue. One expects politicians to impoverish constituents with reckless spending; one does not expect them to kill constituents. . . . [Some friends asked today how I would have summarized Ted Kennedy’s biography, if not the way the New York Times did. I observed that he had spent his entire life either as the child of a wealthy family or as a government… Read more →
What Makes Me Mad
You know what makes me mad? People asking me, “Are you mad about something?” If I’m mad about something, I’ll tell you I’m mad about something. When someone asks me if I’m mad about something, it makes me think they know something I should be mad about. From now on, when someone asks me if I’m mad about something, I’m going to say yes. And when they ask what I’m mad about I’m going to say, “You know what I’m mad about.” Read more →
Twitter: 2009-08-29
Iced chai latte with an add shot! Bow to my genius! # Read more →
Twitter: 2009-08-28
RT @capricecrane: New Game: Loudly and aggressively say, "That's what YOU think!" after *everything* anyone says. # Read more →
Twitter: 2009-08-27
RT @PeteCarroll: congrats to matt barkley on being named our starting qb… let's rip it matt! http://bit.ly/o7hbG (@USCRipsIt) # RT @OCWeekly: We round up our top five favorite things to eat at Disneyland: What'd we miss? http://bit.ly/15dKgE # Read more →
Twitter: 2009-08-26
@ChinaVagina draw a face on your hand and talk to it? # http://bit.ly/xE13e via @TheOnion – Socialites Without Borders Teach Rwandans How To Mingle # Read more →
Lightning’s Book Reviews: Don’t Know Much About History
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! My owner’s son has this book for his AP U.S. History class. You should read it! The title — Don’t Know Much About History — makes you think of the famous song by Sam Cooke, so right away you want to know more about it! History is fascinating! For example, did you know that the Duke and Duchess of Windsor had ELEVEN pugs?! The Duke used to be the King of England but he had to “adbdicate” (that means quit) so he’d have enough time to walk all of his dogs. I hope that fact is in the book! — Lightning Read more →
Thomas Jefferson on Edward M. Kennedy, 1932-2009
I’ve never understood what was so great about this guy. He was immature, a drunk and a womanizer. In 1979, he couldn’t answer a softball question about why he wanted to be president and didn’t even make it out of the primaries. The best thing I can say about him is that he got things done. He had an undeniably impressive track record of passing legislation — most of it disastrous, of course — but he did get it passed. And he killed that poor girl, Mary Jo Kopechne. Don’t forget that. Put her in a lake, then went back to his hotel room and fell asleep. Never even reported it. Far from ending his political career though, the whole Chappaquidick “incident” was written off as just Ted being Ted. As a deceased person myself, I know that death is like following a light into the next world. If you’re… Read more →
Twitter: 2009-08-25
RT @OCWeekly: Thanks to all those who have participated in the OC Weekly Flickr pool! http://www.flickr.com/groups/ocweekly/ # Read more →
Twitter: 2009-08-24
"Alec Baldwin won't run for Senate" #bottomstoriesoftheday # Read more →
Appeasement
There’s a point at which realism shades over into weakness . . . It’s hard to avoid the sense that Mr. Obama has wasted months trying to appease people who can’t be appeased, and who take every concession as a sign that he can be rolled. — Paul Krugman As we all know, you can’t appease terrorists. Oh wait, sorry–appeasing terrorists is worth a try. It’s Republicans you can’t appease. — Best of the Web Today Read more →
Personal Space
The guy at the Green Burrito drive-thru leans all the way out the window and almost into my car to ask, in an Eastern European accent, “Can I get you any taco sauce or something?” Uh, no thanks, Miroslav. I know different cultures have different ideas about personal space but here in America we like you to stay inside the window and just talk to us from there . . . Read more →
Dwight Howard’s Reality
[Dwight] Howard has also expressed the desire to have his own reality show. Here’s a suggestion: The show should focus on Howard’s learning how to make savvy passes when he’s doubled, how to shoot a short-range jumper and how to make free throws. That’s the kind of reality that the young man should be interested in. — Charley Rosen Read more →
HW ‘s Book Reviews: In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Gayest. Crime Story. Ever. Read more →
The Moreno Valley: Junkyard of OC Dreams
The Moreno Valley is now the poster child for American housing gone wrong, and the New York Times weighed in with one of their stock magisterial pieces, the kinds that read purty but don’t say jack shit about reality. The Orange County connection is that two of the homeowners profiled in the piece moved to the MV because they couldn’t afford apartments in OC, which should clue the rest of the nation into how stupid they were to buy into Moreno Valley. Reporter Jennifer Steinhauer doesn’t note that even people in Colton ridicule Moreno Valley residents for living there. It’s not an area “filled with people priced out of Los Angeles and Orange Counties, or looking to escape louder, less-safe cities,” as the Times notes; it’s a place for fools who weren’t smart enough to buy a house in Calimesa. Shit, even Beaumont is better than Moreno Valley, and Beamount… Read more →