August 2011

This Explains a Lot

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When schoolchildren start paying union dues, that’s when I’ll start representing the interests of schoolchildren. — Albert Shanker, President of the United Federation of Teachers (1964-1984) and President of the American Federation of Teachers (1974-1997) Read more →

What Are the Laker Girls Going to Do?

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The Laker Girls 2011 squad has been selected. (You can watch the auditions.) But with no Laker games, what are they going to do? Idea: Come over to the office, stand behind me all day and dance around every time I school someone. “Bob, let me be direct. Your idea has one problem. It’s stupid.” OHHHHHHH! Loud music! Dancing! Cheering! Read more →

Whitewater Adventures are for Pussies, or: A Rube in a Tube

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A man from West Plains, Mo., has been found dead floating in the Meramec River after he disappeared from a tubing trip. Gregory L. Spurling, 55, was pronounced dead at about 12:50 a.m. Monday in Crawford County. — stltoday.com Kudos to Gregory L. Spurling, formerly of West Plains, Mo. — a real American! Frankly, I’m sick of these soft yuppie bastards who pay big money for “whitewater adventures” and pass themselves off as thrillseekers. Those trips are no more dangerous than a raft ride at Disney World. Riding down a river in an inner tube — now that’s excitement! You might die! Especially if your judgment’s been impaired by the consumption of alcohol. Don’t forget the sunscreen! Read more →

Your Time is Limited

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Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. — Steve Jobs Read more →

Some of You Pricks Should Be Billionaires

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Disagreeable Men Earn More Than Nice Guys — Harvard Business Review Read more →

Saying No to 1,000 Things

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[Innovation] comes from saying no to 1,000 things to make sure we don’t get on the wrong track or try to do too much. We’re always thinking about new markets we could enter, but it’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important. — Steve Jobs Read more →

How to Make a Living as a Porn Actor

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Marc Randazza, First Amendment lawyer who represents porn companies, said about porn: “Honestly, the gay side’s where all the money is. There might be 30 straight guys who can make a living at it, but if you’re willing to get f*cked in the ass, I can get you five grand right now.” — New York Magazine Read more →

Have More Than One Kid

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If you put all your eggs in one basket, it’s easier to keep an eye on that basket, but it’s hard to let go of it . . . Read more →

The Cheese Board

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Anti-establishment types One of the highlights of our Berkeley visit was a trip to The Cheese Board for pizza. We parked on a side street and when we walked around the corner I saw a line of people down the sidewalk. “What’s that line?” I asked. “That’s The Cheese Board,” my kid said. “Don’t worry, it goes fast.” He explained that they only make one kind of pizza per day — always vegetarian — so all you can do is order a slice, a half pizza or a whole pizza and be on your way. Yesterday’s selection was fresh corn, feta cheese, mozzarella, and cilantro pesto. Because they serve so fast and the shop is small, there’s not not enough room for all the patrons, many of whom repair to the median on Shattuck Ave. and enjoy their pizza in the shade of the Keep Off Median signs. Read more →

Move-In Weekend

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It’s Sunday night. We moved the boy in yesterday, had dinner with him tonight, and tomorrow morning, we’re going home without him. I’ve had some emotional ups and downs this weekend as I cross the gulf between youth and old age. I almost cried five or six times. I feel great about Berkeley. It’s a college town all the way. Men, women and children are decked out in Cal gear for miles around. We live in Irvine, which also has a UC campus, but it’s not the same atmosphere at all. “That’s because no one wants to go to UC Irvine,” the boy said. I feel good that he already knows some people. His best friend from high school is his dorm roommate. We met a couple of other high school classmates, one at a pizza place and one in the parking lot of the guest house. We met friends… Read more →

Lasts

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My boy leaves for college tomorrow, so this is my last day as a live-in dad. I’m happy for him but I’m sad that something I’ve enjoyed so much is ending. It’s one thing to say, “I’ll be able to deal with that day when it comes,” and it’s another thing to find yourself at that day, dealing with it . . . Read more →

A Sound Sleeper

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A girl who’s going to be a senior at Northwood came over to the house this morning to borrow my son’s AP U.S. History study guide. He took the class last year. Last night, he told his mom to wake him up at 8:30. At 9 this morning, there was a knock on the front door. The boy pulled on a baseball cap, took out his retainer, pasted a big smile on his face and answered it. He gave the book to the girl and she gave him a doughnut. When she left, he went back to bed. “Wake me up at 11:30,” he said to his mom. “What are you going to do in college when I’m not there to wake you up?” she asked. “I’ll be fine.” His mom and I have been waking him up for 18 years. The past few days, he’s started setting an alarm… Read more →

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