July 2013

Doing What He Loved

 

From a corporate alumni group on Facebook: We lost another good guy last night. [Name redacted] fell off his boat crabbing in the Chesapeake. He died doing what he loved. He loved falling off boats? That’s unusual. It’s too bad he didn’t love swimming. Or wearing life vests. Read more →

You’re Gonna Like the Way You Look

 

I know George Zimmerman has had a lot on his plate lately, but when is he going to get back to doing those Mens Wearhouse commercials? Read more →

You Don’t Understand How Phones Work

 

East coast woman on conference call is yelling into the phone. Why? To be heard at a distance? HEY HONEY THE PHONE WORKS ELECTRONICALLY YOU DONT HAVE TO YELL! Read more →

Do You Want to Take the Human Race to the Next Plateau?

 

In 1986, Steve Jobs famously challenged John Sculley, asking him if he wanted to keep on making sugar water or help Apple change the world. While that did not quite work out the way either of them intended, the challenge itself still holds. Do you want to spend your next decade developing more digital distractions to amuse people while they stand in line at Starbuck’s, or do you want to take the human race to the next plateau? — Geoffrey Moore Read more →

I See a City That’s Coming Back

 

We are one nation. We are one people. We will rise and we will fall together. Anyone who doesn’t believe it should come here to Detroit. It’s like the commercial says: This is a city that’s been to heck and back. And while there are still a lot of challenges here, I see a city that’s coming back. — Barack Obama, Sept. 5, 2011 Read more →

But I Didn’t Mean It

 

POTUS: “When the auto industry was on the brink of collapse and Gov. Romney said, ‘Let Detroit go bankrupt,' I said no.” — Barack Obama (@BarackObama) July 16, 2012 Read more →

Voting is Overrated

 

In California back in 1979 I helped to get the Libertarian Party’s Presidential candidate, Ed Clark, on the ballot. Since then, I’ve had nothing to do with politics, which I’ve come to regard as unseemly. That others can be enthusiastic about this or that politician surprises me in the same way that it might surprise me to learn that there is such a thing as an official streptococcus fan club with a list of dues-paying members. And although I can’t claim never to have voted, I can at least say that I would hate to ever have to admit voting for any of the people I voted for. All things considered I’d much rather exercise what Herbert Spencer calls my "Right to Ignore the State." — George Selgin Read more →

Blacks Benefit Most from ‘Stand Your Ground’

 

African Americans benefit from Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” self-defense law at a rate far out of proportion to their presence in the state’s population, despite an assertion by Attorney General Eric Holder that repealing “Stand Your Ground” would help African Americans. Black Floridians have made about a third of the state’s total “Stand Your Ground” claims in homicide cases, a rate nearly double the black percentage of Florida’s population. The majority of those claims have been successful, a success rate that exceeds that for Florida whites. — Florida blacks benefit from Florida 'Stand Your Ground' | The Daily Caller Read more →

Here is Your Wakeup Call, America: Detroit Just Went Bankrupt

 

Detroit used to be known as “the Paris of the midwest” – a city of wide streets, imposing buildings, and home to the great US auto industry. In 1960, it had the highest per capita income in the nation. But decades of decline, racial tension and corruption have brought the motor city to its knees. — The Guardian Highest per capita income in the nation! I did not know that. Anyway, Detroit filed for bankruptcy last week with debts of more than $18 billion. The city’s population has dropped from 2 million in 1950 to 700,000 today, as Detroiters have become fed up with decades of mismanagement and rising crime and poverty. Detroit’s murder rate is at a 40-year high, only a third of its ambulances are in working order, and nearly half its streetlights are broken. Citizens wait 58 minutes for the police to respond to calls, compared to… Read more →

British Humor

 

In order for this to have any chance of being funny, you need to know that in Britain, acetaminophen is called paracetamol . . . Q: Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A: Because the parrots eat ’em all. Read more →

Jane Lynch, Gay Divorcee

 

Jane Lynch and her wife of nearly three years, Lara Embry, are planning to divorce. “Lara and I have decided to end our marriage. This has been a difficult decision for us as we care very deeply about one another. We ask for privacy as we deal with this family matter,” Lynch told ABC News in a statement. — ABC News This is a great time to be a divorce lawyer. Legalizing gay marriage means more marriages, which means more divorces. Also, emotion equals money in divorce cases. More emotion means more money for lawyers, and gay people are very emotional. In keeping with a stupid but time-honored custom, the couple announces the divorce, then asks for privacy, which they’d be more likely to get if they just skipped the announcement. Read more →

As Gently as You Can

 

Our skills are finally in demand. If you mock us, Pan, In whom we also believe, do it As gently as you can. — Stephen Burt, “The People on the Bus” Read more →

Joyce Carol Oates Gets Slammed

 

EppsNet stands behind Joyce Carol Oates in this Twitstorm, in opposition to those who think that while raping women may be a bad thing, what’s really deplorable is freedom of thought and questioning theocracy. In solidarity, we publish a couple of previously unseen (because they’re terrible) photos of the two of us taken with Mark Twain in the Doe Library at UC Berkeley. Read more →

Things That Scare Other People’s Dogs Do Not Scare Our Dog

 

We went out to watch the city of Irvine fireworks show. Best use of our tax dollars since last year’s show! As we drove back to the house, I said, “I hope the fireworks didn’t scare Lightning.” He was asleep on his bed. He’s not scared of anything. Read more →

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