How fully can the world be explored if you are also trying not to die? — Amy Fusselman
April 2015
A Lesson From the Godfather
“There are men in this world,” he said, “who go about demanding to be killed. You must have noticed them. They quarrel in gambling games, they jump out of their automobiles in a rage if someone so much as scratches their fender, they humiliate and bully people whose capabilities they do not know. I have seen a man, a fool, deliberately infuriate a group of dangerous men, and he himself without any resources. These are people who wander through the world shouting, ‘Kill me. Kill me.’ And there is always someone ready to oblige them. We read about it in the newspapers every day.” — Mario Puzo, The Godfather Read more →
See You in Hell
[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings from the underworld! I see that Pope Francis put a bee in Turkey’s bonnet a couple of weeks ago by calling the mass killing of Armenians in 1915 a genocide. According to the Turks, the Vatican should look to its own history before casting stones. Tu quoque! On that note, the 2015 Pulitzer Prize for Biography was just awarded to David I. Kertzer for The Pope and Mussolini: The Secret History of Pius XI and the Rise of Fascism in Europe. Historically, popes have been far more circumspect in condemning genocide and other atrocities when committed by countries willing to aggrandize the Church (or when committed by the Church itself!) See you in Hell, clerics of all stripes . . . Read more →
Teaching Computer Science: Lesson Planning
It’s exhausting work . . . Read more →
The Chaste Song of My Heart
I work a lot and live far less than I could, but the moon is beautiful and there are blue stars . . . . I live the chaste song of my heart. — Garcia Lorca to Emilia Llanos Medinor, November 25, 1920 View image | gettyimages.com Read more →
Teaching Computer Science: Ask More Questions
You need to ask more questions. I think there’s a general fear about asking questions. There’s a risk of looking foolish in front of the whole group when it turns out that everyone else already knows the answer. It’s actually very unusual for someone to ask a question to which everyone else knows the answer. If you find it happens to you a lot, you probably want to get that checked out, but normally it’s very unusual. Another scenario: Somebody, maybe a teacher, says something and you think “That doesn’t make sense. I wonder if it makes sense to everyone else. Rather than risk looking foolish in front of the whole group, I’ll wait and see if someone else asks a question.” So you wait for someone to ask a question and no one asks a question. Why? Because they’re all waiting for someone to ask a question. Many people,… Read more →
How Are You?
I’m getting old . . . mentally and physically I can’t do things that I used to be able to do and I feel like I’m letting everyone down. Thanks for asking . . . Read more →
RIP, Planet Earth
According to the Time 100, that guy from the Hangover movies is one of the most influential people in the world . . . Read more →
Cheryl’s Birthday
My mistake is when someone asks my birthday, I either tell them or I don’t so I’m dismayed to find that the key to world-wide fame is to tell one person the month and another person the day . . . Read more →
Teaching Computer Science: Extra Credit
I wish I got a dollar for every time a student asks, “Can I get extra credit for [insert action for which it makes no sense to give extra credit]?” Today in class we did a difficult programming exercise. It wasn’t graded but I asked everyone to turn it in so I could evaluate the difficulty of the assignment. “Can we get extra credit for turning it in?” a student asked me. “How does it make sense to give extra credit for turning it in? Everyone is turning it in.” “It raises everyone’s grades,” he said. “Like a rising tide lifts all boats.” Read more →
Mysterious Ways
Whenever I see headlines like this I wonder why God couldn’t find an atheist family to drop a concrete slab on. The infant, whose shirt appears to say KING JESUS, was also killed. Read more →
Janis Joplin – Ball & Chain
I can’t imagine anyone ever left a Janis Joplin concert thinking, “I didn’t get my money’s worth. She didn’t put anything into it.” That looks like Cass Elliot mouthing “oh my god” at the end . . . Read more →
10 Seconds is Too Long
“Starts working within 10 seconds.” Ten seconds seems like a long time in 2015. It should start working in 10 nanoseconds. Cyanide works within 10 seconds . . . coincidence? Read more →
Learn How to Get a Man From a Woman With 14 Husbands
My first thought was that this woman should write a book. There are a lot of books out there about how to get a man, how to get a husband . . . how does one assess the credibility of the advice? Normally a woman who’s markedly overweight and doesn’t have a single attractive feature can’t even get a date, let alone alone a husband, and yet this woman’s had 14 of them! How does she do it?! Who wouldn’t like to know her secret? I would! Paste her grinning mug on the cover — the woman with 14 husbands! — and the book sells itself. Her upcoming jail term should give her plenty of time to write it. Read more →
Global Warming is Starting to Affect Me Personally
We have two refrigerators at the office and neither one of them is dispensing any ice this afternoon. The ice dispensers make a noise but no ice is to be had. Is this due to global warming? I’ve been skeptical about the effects of global warming until today, when it started to affect me personally . . . View image | gettyimages.com Read more →
The Last Straw
It’s never just one thing. Incidents accumulate over time. We’d all murder our spouses if we lived long enough . . . Read more →
Don’t Go Upstairs
STATE COLLEGE, Pa. — When Bridget Winch went to parties at Kappa Delta Rho, she observed one rule: Never go upstairs. — At Penn State, one woman’s rule at fraternity parties: Don’t go upstairs – The Washington Post That merits a feature article in the Washington Post? She’s the only woman who’s figured that out? If I had a daughter, I’d like to think she’d have at least that much sense, maybe a little more. Here’s another idea: go upstairs and blame whatever happens on the fraternity, the fraternity system and our entire American society. Or if nothing happens, make something up. Related articles After release of scathing report, Rolling Stone retracts article on rape at UVA (theweek.com) Read more →
Teaching Computer Science: Combating Procrastination
Students had a project due last week and I got a lot of messages and emails asking for help. Of course, when we handed out the assignment two months ago, we advised students not to wait till the last minute to work on it. Teachers and parents saying “Don’t wait till the last minute” is just an understood part of the process. It’s something that gets said but it’s background noise. A couple of alternatives occur to me: Reverse psychology. Say “My advice is to start as late as possible. Try to do two months of work in the last week, or better yet, the last night.” This seems too easy to see through and therefore unlikely to work. Hand out the 20-page spec and tell the students that it’s due tomorrow. WHAT!? YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS! NOBODY COULD DO THIS IN ONE DAY! “You’re right. It’s actually due in… Read more →
Doing What I Wanted To
I’m just doing what I wanted to and what feels right and not settling for bullshit and it worked. How can they be mad at that? — Janis Joplin View image | gettyimages.com Read more →
Teaching Computer Science: The Last Minute
“Reminder that your projects are due tomorrow so don’t wait till the last minute. Oh wait, this is the last minute.” Deadlines can be fun when they apply to other people . . . Read more →