Does anyone know if there’s a Ninja Death Touch Calculator available for Android? Asking for a friend . . . In the Dim Mak method, the Needle Finger can be calibrated to cause a delay of up to one year in the actual moment of death, depending on the force and direction of its application. But the timing is critical. Even a perfect blow to the correct meridian at the wrong time — might as well stay home and watch a Jackie Chan movie. Read more →
September 2015
The Tweet of God
I’m your dope-ass divinity Trollin’ with My trinity Droppin’ top tweets in your immediate vicinity Flingin’ fly phrases from the fringes of infinity. — God Read more →
Aside
What is the hardest thing about living alone — having no one to blame or having no one to forgive?
New Activities for Sisyphus
Remove second space after period from each sentence in thousand page document, close without saving, repeat. More … Read more →
What Are Friends For?
View image | gettyimages.com A young man once approached Socrates and asked to be given knowledge and understanding. Socrates took him down to the seashore, led him into the water and forced his head under the waves. The youth struggled and when his resistance had nearly stopped, Socrates dragged him up on the shore. Later, the youth asked why Socrates had acted as he did. “When you were under the water, what was the one thing you wanted more than anything else?” asked Socrates. “Air,” was the reply. “When you want knowledge and understanding as badly as you wanted air,” said Socrates, “you won’t have to ask anyone to give it to you.” Read more →
Cheaper Than Wallpaper
From the 60 Minutes interview with Donald Trump: Scott Pelley: I was in your office . . . All the pictures on the wall are pictures of you. Donald Trump: –well, it’s cheaper than wallpaper. Read more →
A Pug is Playing the Drums
Overheard (Samuel T. Coleridge Edition)
HIM: Sir Leoline, the Baron rich– Hath a toothless mastiff bitch– HER: Which. HIM: I beg your pardon. HER: Which, not bitch. HIM: We’ll look it up. Read more →
The Perfect Murder, Revisited
I have long maintained that the best way to kill someone and get away with it is to push them off a cliff. It’s simple, clean. no need to dispose of evidence, and reasonable doubt is almost assured. It’s not totally foolproof however. Let’s look at where the defendant in this case went wrong: Harold Henthorn scouted the remote area of the popular park 75 miles north of Denver nine times before bringing his wife with him. He was searching for the “perfect place to murder someone,” where there would be no witnesses and no chance of her surviving, prosecutor Suneeta Hazra said. Don’t make nine trips to reconnoiter the scene of the crime. Don’t even make one trip. It’s both unnecessary and highly suspect. Prosecutors argued the fatal fall was reminiscent of the death of Henthorn’s first wife, Sandra Lynn Henthorn, who was crushed when a car slipped off… Read more →
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: People Married to Their Best Friend
It’s not very romantic, first of all. Did Romeo and Juliet marry their best friend? Did Liz and Dick marry their best friend? Did Scott and Zelda marry their best friend? Did Rhett and Scarlett marry their best friend? A married person has to fill so many roles already: husband/wife, parent, sex partner, wage earner, handyman, cook, mental health professional, grammar coach, etc., etc., etc. A little help on the best friend front would be a welcome breath of fresh air. I don’t know who my wife’s best friend is and I don’t care, as long as it’s not me. Men: if you need a best friend, buy a dog. Read more →
t was ordained that you should suffer without purpose and without hope, but I will not let all your suffering be lost in the abyss. — Georges Duhamel, Vie des martyrs
25 Concepts to Facilitate Judicious Use of Psychiatric Drugs
I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night . . . I also took a Colgate University class on medicating for mental health and judicious use of psychiatric drugs. A psychiatric medication is only one useful tool among a collection of useful tools. Remember to also consider non-drug options for therapy. The benefits of psychiatric medications are always accompanied by risk. Become familiar with the potential risk of your medication. Be alert to potential risks that might be intolerable to you. Establishing a diagnosis is a difficult and imperfect task, but it establishes the starting point for determining which treatments are appropriate. Engage your physician or a psychologist in a dialogue regarding the structure of your treatment program. Be an active participant in establishing the structure of that program. Having confidence that your treatment program will… Read more →
Another Thing I Like About Donald Trump
I like to make sweeping judgments about people based on my assessment of how their kids turned out. A lot of kids from famous families are train wrecks. Trump’s kids, while a little odd-looking in my opinion (Ivanka excepted), are not. Kudos to Mr. Trump and his wives. Read more →
“Nature” is What We See
“Nature” is what we see— The Hill—the Afternoon— Squirrel—Eclipse—the Bumble bee— Nay—Nature is Heaven— Nature is what we hear— The Bobolink—the Sea— Thunder—the Cricket— Nay—Nature is Harmony— Nature is what we know— Yet have no art to say— So impotent Our Wisdom is To her Simplicity. Read more →
Teach a Man to Fish
Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime . . . unless he doesn’t like fish. Read more →
How Would You Like to Share This News?
Slightly Deflated
Aside
There’s a lotta things about me you don’t know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn’t understand. Things you couldn’t understand. Things you shouldn’t understand.
The Coffee Goes to 11
We stopped in at the Nespresso coffee bar at Geary and Grant just before leaving San Francisco to drive back to Orange County. For the iced latte that I wanted, the menu offered a choice of three coffees ranked by “intensity”: 4, 9 or 11. The 4 seemed too low, and I saw no reason to go with the 9 and leave the extra two intensity points on the table, so I selected the 11. I didn’t notice any off-the-charts intensity as I was drinking the coffee but it kicked in on the drive home, somewhere near Salinas. I could have driven straight through to South America, such was my level of alertness and energy. Read more →
Profiles in Management: The Jackass Whisperer
Nothing good comes from two people talking about a third person who isn’t there. If your boss is allowing people to talk to him or her about team members who are not present, you have a problem. If you are the boss and you’re doing this, knock it off. Who is worse: the person who wants to talk about you behind your back or the person who encourages them to do it? The good boss is loyal. You can count on him going to bat for you, even if he privately disagrees with your view and even if defending you is not necessarily the best thing for him. He is never two-faced. The bad boss, perhaps while boasting of his uncompromising integrity, thinks only about what’s best for himself. Watch your back. Thus spoke The Programmer. Read more →