See You in Hell, Young Lovers

 
Satan

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE]

Greetings mortals!

Gabby Petito is in Heaven now. As for Brian Laundrie, he and I will soon have a chance to get better acquainted.

(By “soon” I don’t mean, like, next week, but when you’re operating on an eternal scale, as I am, even several decades seems soon.)

I encourage people considering marriage to spend some time together first, maybe live together, maybe take a cross-country road trip . . . if you can’t stand to be around each other for an extended period of time, better to find out before the nuptials.

See you in Hell!

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