If I Had a Hammer . . .


My first thought on the Paul Pelosi hammer attack story was that it had to be fake.

First, is it possible that the Speaker of the House doesn’t have the minimal level of security needed to prevent her husband from being assaulted in their own home?

Second, I’m pretty certain that an 82-year-old man would not survive a battle against me and a hammer. I haven’t had any practice at it but that’s the point. How many hammer blows to the skull can an 82-year-old survive? I’d put the over-under at one.

Paul Pelosi was heard to say after the attack, “My goddamn congressperson better do something about the level of crime in this city . . . oh, wait . . .”

Third, “Democrats” and “violent crime” are becoming synonymous as midterm elections approach, so maybe there would be a way to find a high-profile story linking Republicans and violent crime.

Media and Democrats are pushing what would seem to be a plausible theory, i.e., that the assailant was an Ultra-MAGA Republican, hammer-wielding maniac, and not just another drug-addled San Francisco psycho:

Michael Shellenberger actually looked into the man and found that he is in fact a psychotic addict whose home — or more accurately, homeless encampment — features a Black Lives Matter sign and an LGBT flag with a marijuana symbol, accessories not usually found at the homes of unhinged right-wingers.

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