Dogs are now so dependent upon people that they fail certain basic intelligence tests that wolves and wild dogs ace, according to new research. The findings provide evidence that humans, through domestication of canines, have caused dogs to lose their non-social problem-solving skills. The loss in skills appears to be “hardwired” genetically into dogs, helping to explain why homeless dogs struggle to survive. — Dogs dumbed down by domestication – msnbc.com That is not right to say “dumbed down.” Try teaching a wolf to shake or roll over, bright boy. Dogs and wolves are smart in different ways. Wolves are smarter about survival skills but dogs are a LOT smarter about living with people because that’s what we do. We’re very tuned in to human behavior and language and ambitions. We are also a lot better than a wolf at unconditional love, which I know is not what we’re talking… Read more →
Author Archive: Lightning Epps
What Do I Look Like?
I was out for a walk today when a little Chinese boy about 1 year old in human years pointed at me and said, “Panda!” Do I look like a panda to you? — Lightning Read more →
A Cat with an iPad
I saw this video of a cat playing with an iPad. I love how the guy at the end says “You sure are a smart cat, buddy.” LOL! That is a DOPEY cat! He’s as dopey as those dopey dogs that chase laser pointers at the dog park. Is THAT all you have to do to be a smart cat? Bat at things that move or make noise? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! — Lightning Read more →
Don’t Underestimate Me
Now, each of us has his own special gift And you know this was meant to be true, And if you don’t underestimate me, I won’t underestimate you. — Bob Dylan, “Dear Landlord” My owner and I took a walk tonight and we saw a woman we’ve seen many times before. She is about 40 years old in human years and a little bit chubby. Tonight she was playing with a volleyball in front of her house with her kids and another girl. She was very good! She was bumping and setting with aplomb! “I underestimated her,” my owner said. “She looks like a chubby housewife but she’s also a good volleyball player.” That happens to me a lot too. As you can see in the photo, I’m not very big compared to some other dogs but I have the heart of a much larger animal. — Lightning Read more →
The Census is Unfair to Dogs
My owner filled out the census form for our whole family except me. He said he was sorry but there are no questions on the census about pets. I think that’s not fair because dogs bring a lot of love and joy to peoples’ lives. If they don’t count us, how will they make sure that we have adequate access to veterinary services and rawhide treats? — Lightning Read more →
Happy St. Patrick’s Day
I’m not wearing green today — because I’m a dog. Don’t try to pinch me or I’ll bite you. — Lightning Read more →
How to Speak Dog
This is how to say “step away from the bone”: GRRRRRRRR! OK, enough academics! Here’s a cartoon I really like: — Lightning Read more →
I Can Count up to Two
I’ve heard that dogs can count up to 4 or 5. I’ve never tried to go that high but I know I can count up to 2 because every morning my owner gives me 2 vitamin tablets and when he gives me the first one I wait for the second one and when he gives me the second one I run off and do something else. Oh this is unexpected! He just dropped a vitamin tablet on the floor so I ate it! Now he’s giving me the first vitamin tablet . . . (Waiting . . . waiting . . .) I’m getting a bad feeling about this. DON’T TELL ME THE DROPPED ONE COUNTS AGAINST MY DAILY ALLOTMENT! — Lightning Read more →
We Had Some Trouble Here Last Night
He is a bad dog . . . a pit bull mix. Last night he attacked Kumba the Shih Tzu, who is my neighbor across the street, and Kumba’s owner. My owner heard screaming and ran outside. The pit bull owner was holding his dog back and Kumba’s owner was down on the sidewalk bleeding and screaming. She was very scared. She held her hand up to my owner like a drowning person. Kumba was hiding in some bushes behind a tree so my owner went in and carried him out. Then the police came and the firemen came. Kumba had a bite on his back and one of his back legs was hurt but he’s going to be okay and his owner is going to be okay. I told Kumba he was very brave, even though he wasn’t. But it made him feel better and there was no harm… Read more →
We Don’t Keep Our Money in Banks
Security fears dog online banking — Yahoo! News Now that’s what I call lazy reporting. If they’d bothered to interview an actual dog, they would have found out that we don’t keep our money in banks because banks are run by Wall Street fat cats and we don’t trust Wall Street fat cats. Actually, we don’t trust any kind of cats. There may be dogs online barking but there are no dogs online banking. — Lightning Read more →
Another Difference Between Dogs and Cats
Hero dog saves boy, 11, from cougar attack — msnbc.com Dogs will save your life. Cats will try to kill your children. — Lightning Read more →
An Interesting Fact About Cats
Cats do not have a word for “fetch.” — Lightning Read more →
I Am So Angry With President Bush
Cuban Foreign Minister Bruno Rodriguez said in a televised press conference that Obama lied during the United Nations summit in Copenhagen and is making a habit of it after less than a year in office. “He lies all the time, deceives with demagogic words, with profound cynicism,” Rodriguez told reporters. “In this summit there was only an imperial, arrogant Obama who doesn’t listen, who imposes positions that even threaten developing countries,” he said. Cuba joined Venezuela, Bolivia and and Nicaragua in opposing formal U.N. adoption of the deal which they and other developing nations saw as an imposition by powerful nations. — Reuters I AM SO ANGRY WITH GEORGE W BUSH ALEINATING FOREIGN LEDERS AND HARMING OUT INTERNATIONAL REPUTATION WITH HIS HIGH-HANDED TACITCIS TAHT I CANT EVEN THYPE Wait — what? Oh okay, never mind . . . — Lightning Read more →
Ty the Samoyed
This morning I was visiting my friend Ty the Samoyed. He lives across the street from me. He’s rambunctious and pushy but he’s only two years old so I give him some leeway. “I’m glad he’s still friends with Lightning,” his owner said. “He got in a fight with Bon Bon the golden retriever.” “Who fights with golden retrievers?” my owner said. “They’re the most peaceful dogs.” Ty told me he thought Bon Bon was up to something . . . — Lightning Read more →
A Birthday Picture
Hi everybody! Here’s a picture my owner made for me on my birthday. LOL! Read more →
Wolf King
My owner bought me a new kind of dog food called Wolf King. A wolf king is like an alpha pug. “The bag says it’s for large-breed dogs,” his son said. “Lightning is a large-breed dog,” my owner said. “No he isn’t.” “Except for his size, he is. He has the heart of a much larger animal.” — Lightning Read more →
I Hate Notre Dame
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m excited because this week is USC vs. Notre Dame, the greatest intersectional rivalry in college football! I love USC because my owner went to USC. Hooray! I hate Notre Dame. Grrrrrrrrr! Do you know what I do when Notre Dame beats USC? Neither do I because I’m only six years old. — Lightning Read more →
My Advice
Learn all the tricks you can while you’re young . . . — Lightning Read more →
Hey You!
You can’t walk a puppy by just dragging him along like a pull-toy! Dogs have to be allowed to explore their surroundings! If you don’t understand that, get a f^$&ing cat! Sorry about my language but I am suuuuuuuper irritated right now. I hope that dog gets to be a hundred pounds and drags you into a lake. — Lightning Read more →
The Dominant Pug
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! Did you know? The dominant pug enjoys key privileges and first rights to all that is desirable in the pug world. — Lightning Read more →