EppsNet

I handed the girl at the McDonalds drive-thru a Canadian 5-dollar bill and asked her, “Who is that guy?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I only came here three years ago and I’m not really into money.”

When we got back to the hotel, I asked the guy at the front desk the same question. He had no idea.

I was dumbfounded to discover that Canadians don’t know the people on their money!

By googling “canadian 5-dollar bill,” I learned that the gentleman is Sir Wilfrid Laurier, the seventh Prime Minister of Canada.

The prime minister is like the president in the United States, isn’t he? Wouldn’t this be like an American not recognizing Abraham Lincoln?

• RT @diablocody: I ordered a bunch of Yankee Candles while drunk. Now the house smells of pie and remorse. #
• RT @darthvader: I love national holidays where blowing up a rebel stronghold can easily be considered a spectacular “finale.” #
• Weinerschnitzel: 2 chili dogs plus chili cheese fries for $3. Ain’t that America! #
• RT @diablocody: Ah, the patriotic “flag bikini.” There’s nothing like having a nation’s pride wadded up in your labia. #
• RT @ericmusselman: Abraham Lincoln: “I will prepare, and someday my chance will come.” #

My fellow Americans –

Did you know that I was born on this date in 1743? Probably you didn’t because nobody makes a big deal about it like Washington’s birthday or Lincoln’s.

That used to really bother me but I’m okay with it now.

Anyway — it’s MY birthday but YOU get the gift. Point your browser at the Guess Her Muff website. GADZOOKS! You will not be disappointed!

Sadly, ladies styling their pubes had not entered into the marketplace of ideas in the 18th century. I can’t help thinking what Sally Hemings would have looked like with a Brazilian.

AH-OOGAH!

I can’t really hear what my son is holding forth on downstairs — just snippets about tyranny, racism, slavery, Abraham Lincoln, Harriet Tubman, civil rights and child abuse — which means his mom must have asked him to turn off the TV and get started on homework . . .