Every drug commercial you see on TV, half the commercial is a voice-over listing all the side effects, many of which are worse than the disease that the drug is intended to treat. May reduce your body’s ability to fight infection, which could lead to serious illness or death . . . “Death” is almost always in there somewhere. And these are drugs that have been through years of trials, full FDA approval, not just emergency approval or experimental approval or whatever it’s called for the COVID vaccines. What are the side effects of COVID vaccines? Who knows? There wasn’t time to test for them, except very short-term stuff like you might feel tired or you might have a sore arm. In the software business, we call this “testing in production,” meaning we don’t have time to fully test the product in a non-destructive way, so we slam it into… Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Commercials
Commercials That Don’t Fit the NFL Audience
These Verizon and Sprint commercials I see on NFL telecasts, where beta male milquetoasts dispense advice on cell phones, seem misdirected toward what I imagine to be the pro football-watching demographic. Also off target: the Dove for Men commercials where metrosexuals meet up to lament the demoisturizing effects of their skin care products. Read more →
Yes, I’m Ready for the Big Game!
People keep asking me, “Lightning, are you ready for the Big Game?” OF COURSE I’M READY FOR THE BIG GAME! Look at me … how could I be any more ready than I already am?! P.S. Wake me up if there are any pug commercials this year. — Lightning Read more →
The College Football Playoff is Working
Under the old two-team BCS format, the teams that lost the semifinal games — Alabama and Florida State — would likely have played each other in the championship game, while the two winners — Oregon and Ohio State — would likely have been voted out. Florida State, as the defending champs and only undefeated team, would have been in for sure, while Ohio State would have just as certainly been out. That leaves Alabama and Oregon. One would have had to be dropped and it probably would have been Oregon. Four teams is still not enough (see TCU’s 42-3 blowout of Mississippi State) to be able to say that none of the teams voted out was good enough to win it. Also: I am sick unto death of the goddamn Larry Culpepper commercials. Enough of that already. Read more →
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
Rearview Cameras in Cars
Gov’t delays requiring rearview cameras in cars — Associated Press Rearview cameras in cars seem like a good idea. Who wants to accidentally back over a child or a pet, right? It’s upsetting, not to mention whoever the child or pet belonged to is probably going to hold it against you forever. Let’s make rearview cameras required by law. In fact, let’s make rearview and frontview cameras required, because kids and pets can get under the front of your car too, and running over them is bad, no matter what direction you’re going. I’ve seen TV commercials where cars can detect obstacles in their path and stop automatically to avoid a collision. That’s great. Let’s make that required too. In fact, let’s make so many features required by law that you can’t even buy a car anymore for less than $50,000. You know what else is a good idea? Freedom,… Read more →
We Know What You Like: Cox
A commercial for Cox Communications comes on the TV, the gist of which is that no one knows what the young woman in the ad likes. A sushi chef, for example, serves her an oddball concoction that she doesn’t like, and I forget the rest, but you get the idea. “But here at Cox,” the ad goes on to say, “we know what you like.” I say, “She likes Cox.” My kid gives me a look. “C-O-X. Cox. Come on, man.” Read more →
Love and Money
My son and I are watching a TV commercial for Love Happens, which seems to be about a man forced to choose between financial gain and the love of a woman. This is one of those “teachable moments,” because the boy, who’s 15 now, may someday find himself facing the same choice as the guy in the movie, so I look at him with love and hard-earned wisdom and with a voice of great sincerity, I say: “Take the money.” Read more →
Separated at Birth?
Prime Minister of Zimbabwe Morgan Tsvangirai and that guy from the Miller High Life commercials . . . Read more →
The Alfa Romeo Sloth
This is an Italian Alfa Romeo commercial. To look at it, you wouldn’t know it’s a car commercial because there’s no car in it, but in Italy there’s a series of these Alfa Romeo sloth commercials. The running gag is that the sloth is a lethargic, slow-moving creature — until he gets in his Alfa Romeo — but this one’s a little different, in a mesmerizing WTF kind of way . . . Read more →