Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I heard that some people don’t like the Starbucks Christmas cups this year. People are silly. My favorite Starbucks Christmas cup was the one with a dog on a sled but the contents of the cup, that’s the main thing. I don’t even mind that most of the time my pup cups have someone else’s name on them. Merry Christmas, Starbucks! — Lightning Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Dogs
My Name is Fido
From an actual email: Hello, My name is Fido and I’m an IT recruiter at TechDigital Corporation. We are currently hiring a .Net Developer/Software Engineer preferrably [sic] with experience in the Financial domain for a W2 or C2C Contract for one of our direct clients in Green Bay, WI. Fido Xavier Recruiter I live in California. Are there no software engineers in Wisconsin or anywhere between California and Wisconsin? On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog. Thus spoke The Programmer. Read more →
A Pug is Playing the Drums
Overheard (Samuel T. Coleridge Edition)
HIM: Sir Leoline, the Baron rich– Hath a toothless mastiff bitch– HER: Which. HIM: I beg your pardon. HER: Which, not bitch. HIM: We’ll look it up. Read more →
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: People Married to Their Best Friend
It’s not very romantic, first of all. Did Romeo and Juliet marry their best friend? Did Liz and Dick marry their best friend? Did Scott and Zelda marry their best friend? Did Rhett and Scarlett marry their best friend? A married person has to fill so many roles already: husband/wife, parent, sex partner, wage earner, handyman, cook, mental health professional, grammar coach, etc., etc., etc. A little help on the best friend front would be a welcome breath of fresh air. I don’t know who my wife’s best friend is and I don’t care, as long as it’s not me. Men: if you need a best friend, buy a dog. Read more →
Dogs in San Francisco
If you’re a dog or a recently released felon, you are welcome in San Francisco. Not only are there lots of people walking in SF, there are lots of people walking with dogs. French Bulldogs, Huskies and Pomeranians seems to be especially popular. Until he got too old to really enjoy it, I took Lightning to the Irvine dog park six days a week (it’s closed on Wednesdays) for years. I’ve spent a lot of time around dogs, so I’m better than most people at identifying dog breeds. We were walking in San Francisco last weekend when my wife pointed and asked “What kind of dog is that?” Before I could say “It’s a Labradoodle,” our boy said “Labradoodle.” I must have been visibly stunned because he then asked me “Were you going to say ‘Goldendoodle’?” “No . . . you’re pretty good at identifying dogs now.” This is a… Read more →
I Can’t See Anymore But I Am Still Handsome
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m almost 84 years old now in dog years. I can’t see anymore and my joints are not too good but aging doesn’t dampen the spirits of pugs like it does with people. I can remember where things are in the house (unless someone moves them) so I can still walk around without bumping into a lot of things. The good thing is that I can sometimes smack into a door or a wall or a piece of furniture without affecting my handsome appearance because my face is flat already. — Lightning Read more →
Still Life with Pug
I Don’t Know How Starbucks Stays in Business
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! On weekend mornings my owner goes to Starbucks and brings back a pup cup of whipped cream for me! Today I noticed on my cup that if I don’t love my pup cup they’ll make me another one for free! “The pup cups are always free,” my owner says. “You don’t have to tell them you didn’t love it to get a free one.” I don’t know how Starbucks stays in business if they’re giving away the most delicious stuff for free. — Lightning Read more →
Teaching Computer Science: The Last Day
On the last day of class, I gave students the code for a partially working Space Invaders game, along with instructions for adding collision detection and completing the implementation. The instructions didn’t leave too much to the imagination because I wanted to give everyone a chance to finish out the year on a successful note. I estimated it to be about a 30-minute activity. It didn’t occur to me that that students would do anything but finish the program and spend whatever time was left over blasting aliens. What they actually did was, they finished the program, tweaked the firing interval so they could shoot faster, changed the speed of the sprites, added more aliens, changed the program to shoot two bullets at a time instead of one, changed the program to shoot five bullets at a time, enabled the aliens to drop bombs, had the game recognize that when… Read more →
My 2nd Favorite Hockey Team
Hi, everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m sad today because the Ducks lost. The Ducks are my favorite hockey team. I like to watch hockey games on TV with my owner because even though I’m old and I can’t see anymore I like the sounds of the skates and the pucks and the sticks. My second favorite hockey team is the Lightning. I hope they win the Stanley Cup. I like to watch Lightning games because the TV says “… blah blah blah Lightning blah blah blah Lightning blah blah blah Lightning …” — Lightning Read more →
I Will Show You How a Pug Eats an Ice Cream Cone
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! There’s a funny video of dogs eating ice cream on the internet: The puggle on the left is an embarrassment! What kind of dog eats ice cream like that? She would not last one day in the wild! Do beagles eat ice cream like that? I am old and I can’t even see anymore so if there’s something in front of me I can’t tell what size or shape it is but when I decide that it’s edible I CHOMP on it! — Lightning Read more →
Pug Photo on Flickr
Photo by laputa Read more →
Teaching Computer Science: Lesson Planning
It’s exhausting work . . . Read more →
Three is Enough
One of the neighbor ladies is over talking to my wife while Lightning and I entertain two of her three daughters, ages 3 and 7. “I want a dog like Lightning,” the 7-year-old says. “We just have boring fish.” “What does your mom say about that?” I ask. “She says having a dog is a lot of work.” “It is a lot of work.” “She says the three of us are enough work already.” Read more →
Yes, I’m Ready for the Big Game!
People keep asking me, “Lightning, are you ready for the Big Game?” OF COURSE I’M READY FOR THE BIG GAME! Look at me … how could I be any more ready than I already am?! P.S. Wake me up if there are any pug commercials this year. — Lightning Read more →
The Lazy Dog
I Can Still Eat
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! My owner bought each of us a chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A. He’s a fast eater but I ate my whole sandwich before he was even half way done with his! I’m very old now. I can hardly see, hear or walk. But my eating ability has not dropped off AT ALL! — Lightning Read more →
By Way of Explanation
I was yelling this morning and I scared the dog. I wasn’t angry at him or at anyone in the house, I was angry about a whole life insurance scam we got in the mail. (That’s redundant, isn’t it? “Whole life insurance scam”?) Anyway, the dog got scared and crawled under the bed. His joints, especially in his back legs, are not too good anymore and once he got under the bed, he couldn’t get back out. I had to crawl under there myself, roll him on his side, which he didn’t like, and then slide him out. That’s in case you’re wondering why I showed up late for work this morning looking like I just crawled out from under a bed . . . Read more →
Did Robin Williams Have a Dog?
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! I’m seeing a person named Robin Williams on TV a lot. He always seems excited and happy, like a puppy! It’s scaring people that he ended his own life. Dogs never end their own life, no matter what. You might think we couldn’t do that but we could run in front of a car or jump off a balcony, just to name a couple of things. I wonder if Robin Williams had a dog . . . My owner and I are getting old together. We can’t run like we used to, or see very well or hear very well. He’s sad about it sometimes but I think it helps people to see dogs trying our best in every situation. Everything is temporary. — Lightning Read more →