EppsNet Archive: Fathers and Sons

The Father of the Year Competition is Heating Up

 

NEWPORT BEACH A man accused of becoming angered at his 7-year-old son and tossing him off a boat during a harbor cruise pleaded not guilty Monday to felony child endangerment. Sloane Steven Briles, 35, of Irvine, is accused of being under the influence of alcohol and poking his son in the chest and repeatedly slapping him in the face before tossing him about 10 feet off the boat and into the path of oncoming boat traffic. Prosecutors say he made no attempt to save his son and jumped off the boat only to avoid angry passengers on the Queen. A boat had to maneuver to avoid striking the boy, who treaded water before a captain on another boat tossed him a life ring, according to prosecutors. In interviews with television reporters following his arrest, Briles said he and his son were just playing around and that they both decided to… Read more →

Have More Than One Kid

 

If you put all your eggs in one basket, it’s easier to keep an eye on that basket, but it’s hard to let go of it . . . Read more →

The Cheese Board

 

Anti-establishment types One of the highlights of our Berkeley visit was a trip to The Cheese Board for pizza. We parked on a side street and when we walked around the corner I saw a line of people down the sidewalk. “What’s that line?” I asked. “That’s The Cheese Board,” my kid said. “Don’t worry, it goes fast.” He explained that they only make one kind of pizza per day — always vegetarian — so all you can do is order a slice, a half pizza or a whole pizza and be on your way. Yesterday’s selection was fresh corn, feta cheese, mozzarella, and cilantro pesto. Because they serve so fast and the shop is small, there’s not not enough room for all the patrons, many of whom repair to the median on Shattuck Ave. and enjoy their pizza in the shade of the Keep Off Median signs. Read more →

Move-In Weekend

 

It’s Sunday night. We moved the boy in yesterday, had dinner with him tonight, and tomorrow morning, we’re going home without him. I’ve had some emotional ups and downs this weekend as I cross the gulf between youth and old age. I almost cried five or six times. I feel great about Berkeley. It’s a college town all the way. Men, women and children are decked out in Cal gear for miles around. We live in Irvine, which also has a UC campus, but it’s not the same atmosphere at all. “That’s because no one wants to go to UC Irvine,” the boy said. I feel good that he already knows some people. His best friend from high school is his dorm roommate. We met a couple of other high school classmates, one at a pizza place and one in the parking lot of the guest house. We met friends… Read more →

Lasts

 

My boy leaves for college tomorrow, so this is my last day as a live-in dad. I’m happy for him but I’m sad that something I’ve enjoyed so much is ending. It’s one thing to say, “I’ll be able to deal with that day when it comes,” and it’s another thing to find yourself at that day, dealing with it . . . Read more →

A Long and Short Explanation of Why Borders Books Went Out of Business

 

Borders, unable to find a buyer willing to get it out of bankruptcy, plans to close its remaining 399 stores and go out of business by the end of September. — msnbc.com “When Borders started up 40 years ago,” I explain to my son, “there was a certain percentage of the American public that bought books and read them. “It wasn’t nearly as large as the percentage who preferred to sit on their fat asses and watch television but it was there. There was a profit to be made from it. “Today, if I tell someone about a book I’m reading, they look at me like I’m confessing a perversion. Reading a book?! “Not only does no one read books but if anyone does get a notion in their head to read one, they’re likely to buy it online and/or download it onto a device. “The market for people who… Read more →

Plato in 90 Minutes

 

I’ve never gotten anything out of trying to read Plato, and yet you keep hearing that he’s essential to an understanding of man’s existence, so I thought I’d check out a secondary source for guidance: Plato in 90 Minutes by Paul Strathern. I’m on page 10 when my son says, “That’s taken you longer than 90 minutes.” He looks over to see how far I’ve gotten. “Page 10,” he scoffs. “It’s not 90 minutes from when you buy the book,” I say. “You understand that, right? You have to give me some time to actually read it.” Read more →

Just Like the Pros

 

The boy comes home from somewhere this afternoon . . . “Where have you been?” I ask him. “Playing basketball,” he says, as he heads into the kitchen for a beverage. “I’ve been trying to call you. Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” “Does Kobe pick up his phone during a game? Neither do I.” Read more →

NARCh 2011 – Day 4

 

Semifinal: Devil Dogs vs. Tour Stealth Both teams played a strong game. The Devil Dogs gave up the first goal, evened it up at 1-1, then allowed the go-ahead goal with about four minutes left. They had some chances to tie it back up but couldn’t make it happen. Stealth added an empty-net goal with two seconds left. Final Score: Stealth 3, Devil Dogs 1 Semifinal: Choice Inline Selects vs. Top Gun I didn’t see this game because I was watching the Devil Dog semi so I can’t tell you anything about it other than the final score. Final Score: Selects 4, Top Gun 2   Bronze Medal Game: Devil Dogs vs. Top Gun Three of the four teams in the semifinals win a medal — gold, silver or bronze. One team — the loser of the bronze medal game — doesn’t. Coming into this game, I was trying to… Read more →

NARCh 2011 – Travel Day

 

LA to Houston We’re waiting at LAX for a flight to Houston when a large black man in his 20s sits down near us in the waiting area. “I could take that guy one-on-one,” my kid announces. I’m about to mention to him that not every big black dude is necessarily a basketball player when he says, “Wait a minute, isn’t that Mario Williams?” I have to admit to him that I wouldn’t recognize Mario Williams if I saw him. He pulls up a photo of Mario Williams on his iPhone. “Yeah,” I say, “that does look like him.” “And he’s waiting for a flight to Houston? That’s got to be Mario Williams.” The final clue is that the guy is decked out in Adidas gear from head to toe. A Google search for “mario williams adidas” on the iPhone reveals that Mario Williams has a sponsorship deal with Adidas.… Read more →

A Father’s Instruction

 

I was a son to my father . . . And he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words. . . .” — Proverbs 4:3-4 Read more →

Lasts

 

Today is my last Fathers Day with a live-in kid. My boy and I have been walking a path together for 18 years and the time has come for him to set out on his own path. We are both headed into a great unknown . . . Read more →

Pizza and Pessimism

 

“There’s a slice of pizza missing,” my son announces. When I got home from work, there were two slices left over from last night. I ate one and left one for him. “I calibrated my appetite for two slices,” he says. “The pessimist,” I say, “sees that there’s one slice missing. The optimist sees that there’s one slice left.” Read more →

Shooting Hoops

 

I was thinking about my overall dad performance over the last 18 years. Did I do enough activities with the boy? My memory is playing tricks on me. I did do a lot of activities with him when he was younger, but as he got older, he did more things on his own and with his friends. MY GOD, WHAT IF I DIDN’T DO ENOUGH ACTIVITIES WITH HIM? “Hey, you wanna shoot some hoops?” I ask. “Okay,” he says. Read more →

Education Dollars at Work

 

My son, a high school senior, says, “Guess what I’m doing in school tomorrow?” I venture a guess: “Learning things.” “No. It’s actually a trick question. I’ve got a free period, then another free period, then a movie.” “I hope I’m getting a tax refund for this nonsense.” Read more →

Lasts

 

My kid plays his last high school hockey game(s) tonight — semis at 7, finals (maybe) around 9. Read more →

Motherf-ing Cats

 

My son comes back from watching African Cats for “field hours” . . . “How was the movie?” I ask. “Pretty good. Samuel L. Jackson was narrating it.” “He was? Did he say ‘Get these motherf-ing cats off this motherf-ing plain’?” “No.” “‘Plain’ — get it? A flat expanse of land?” Read more →

Hard-Earned Wisdom

 

Once again, my kid and I are at the gas station where you can’t lock the pump handles in place and you have stand there and hold them. Except that thanks to our previous visit, he now knows how to keep the pump on by wedging the gas cap in the handle, so while everyone else is standing around holding pump handles, he’s sitting in the front seat next to me. “Look at everyone holding the pump handles,” I point out. “Don’t say I never improved your life by passing along my hard-earned wisdom.” “Holding the handle builds character,” he says. “So get out and hold it then. I don’t care. At least now you have options.” “Nah, I’ve already got enough character.” Read more →

Quick Thinking

 

My kid is in San Francisco with a Northwood High musical group. Among the chaperones is the school principal. We don’t like her. More on that later. “Avoid the temptation to push her in front of a cable car,” I advised the boy. “Why?” he asked. “Well . . .” Now I had to think of something. “Because her fat ass would derail the thing, costing innocent people their lives.” Read more →

My Kid is Going to Cal

 

I always kind of assumed that the boy would follow in his pappy’s footsteps at USC, but he just sent in his intent to register at Cal, thus ending (effectively) a journey that started on his first day of kindergarten last week. It wasn’t last week? It was 13 years ago? It seems like last week. I picked him up after school and he sat in the back seat of the car sipping a juice box while we talked about his day. I have a video of it. There are three schools in California that you could plausibly go to ahead of USC: Stanford, Cal Tech — two small, private schools with ultra-low admit rates — and Cal. Cal has a better academic reputation than USC. USC has cranked up the academics over the last 20 years, and especially over the last 10 years, to the point where if you… Read more →

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