EppsNet Archive: Heart Disease

Thank You for Smoking

According to the American Cancer Society, smoking kills about 1 in 5 people in the United States. Is that bad? If so, why? You’ve got to die somehow. Would it be better if those people died from some other cause? How would you prefer to see them die? Also: Some percentage of Americans would rather be dead than alive anyway. I don’t know what that number is, but I’d bet it’s higher than 1 in 5. (If you Google “percentage of people who would rather be dead,” the top results all point to a 2008 survey in which 52 percent of respondents said they would rather be dead than disabled. If you change the search to “percentage of people who would rather be dead than alive,” you get a mishmash of links, including a few more links to the “dead vs. disabled” survey, but you still don’t get the number… Read more →

Beware of Chest Physicians Bearing Gifts

I work for a healthcare organization. In the lunch room today was one of those cylinders full of caramel corn and cheese corn that turn up everywhere around the holidays. This one had a note attached: Compliments of your colleagues at the American College of Chest Physicians. Are caramel corn and cheese corn good for cardiac health? They’ve gotta be terrible, right? Beware of chest physicians bearing gifts! CARDIOLOGIST: Who referred you to our office? PATIENT: I saw your name on a container of cheese corn. CARDIOLOGIST: Ha ha, yeah, those things pay for themselves a million times over in stents and angioplasties. Read more →

You’re Under Sudden Cardiac Arrest

October is Sudden Cardiac Arrest (SCA) Awareness Month. Were you aware of that? I wasn’t. Now that I am, I’ve got one thing to say to the SCA people: WHO IS ADVISING YOU?! October is Breast Awareness Month! You can’t compete against breasts! Pick another month! As for cardiac arrest, fuck that noise! I’M A VERY BUSY PERSON! I don’t have time . . . (gasp) . . . I don’t have time . . . for a . . . a herat attardhuhjbzsvggggggggggggggggggggggggg Read more →