EppsNet Archive: Internet

Thomas Jefferson on Weinergate


Rep. Weiner of New York — one of the 13 original colonies — has been sending photos of his penis to women in Texas, Washington and other points west. When I was president, Texas and Washington weren’t even part of the country, and if I wanted to show a woman my dick, she had to be right there in the room with me.1 And still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as progress. Yes, I could have made a sketch and sent it through the mail but that could take weeks. Read more →

Everything Must Be Replaced


Uh oh, it looks like the wireless connection here at EppsNet headquarters just went down . . . “NOTHING MAKES ME ANGRIER THAN AN UNRELIABLE NETWORK CONNECTION!” my son yells. “WE NEED A NEW ROUTER! WE NEED A NEW MODEM! WE NEED A NEW SERVICE PROVIDER! WE NEED NEW COMPUTERS!” “We don’t need new computers,” his mom says. “YES WE DO!” Read more →



My wife got some promotional pens delivered to the house today from pens.com. Did you ever notice how pens.com looks a lot like penis.com? I wonder if anyone owns the penis.com domain name? Hang on a sec . . . OK, penis.com is taken — but penis.edu is still available! University of Penis! Read more →



If you do stuff online, people are tracking it and putting it into a database and trying to sell you stuff based on that. There’s not much you can do about it except not be online. And it’s not all that bad, really, to get ads for diapers when you’re having a baby, or ads for cars when you are looking to buy a car. Life will go on. — TechCrunch Read more →

Twitter: 2010-09-17


RT @SteveMartinToGo: OMG. President Lincoln has been shot! Wait, whoa, my internet connection is SUH-LOW. # Read more →

How Much Information Do You Really Need?


On the web there’s a certain kind of encouragement to never ask yourself how much information you really need. But when I get to the point where I’m seeking advice twelve hours a day on how to take a nap or what kind of notebook to buy, I’m so far off the idea of lifehacks that it’s indistinguishable from where we started. There’s very little advice right now to tell people that the only thing to do is action, and everything else is horseshit. — Merlin Mann Read more →

Twitter: 2010-08-26


RT @eddiepepitone: Prophets of doom make 13 dollars an hour, life coaches 35 an hour. So who’s full of shit now? # RT @thesulk: “Who’s that actor?” “I don’t know, and I may never know.” (Watching TV Before the Internet) # RT @capricecrane: “Heidi Montag Wants Huge Breast Implants OUT.” She’s getting good at cutting giant boobs out of her life. # Related Articles Heidi Montag Regrets Breast Implants (mtv.com) Read more →

10 Reasons to Stop Apologizing for Your Online Life


Via Harvard Business Review Read more →

April Fools


Every month, I present web site metrics to our Web Steering committee. Since this month’s meeting fell on April 1, I took the opportunity to mock up and present a set of fake charts showing all of our key metrics falling off a cliff. LOL! OK I know what you’re thinking — not as funny as cling wrap on a toilet seat. You’re right but chart pranks are more cerebral . . . Read more →

There is No Such Thing as Information Overload


Looking over my notes from an Edward Tufte course . . . There is no such thing as information overload, just bad design. Example: Google News presents hundreds of links on a single page and no one complains about information overload. Example: The financial section of the newspaper presents thousands of numbers and no one complains about information overload. Read more →

Twitter: 2009-10-29


RT @tweetmeme Google Maps Navigation Launch Aftermath: Yes, This Will Be Huge http://bit.ly/4D6qtj # Google Envisions 10 Million Servers http://bit.ly/13sPox # Read more →

I’m Killing It on Amazon


I’m explaining to my wife how being an Amazon.com associate works . . . “If I mention a book on my web site, I link it to the book’s page on Amazon. Then if someone clicks through on the link and buys something, I get a small commission.” She loves money-making enterprises. “How much do you make?” she asks excitedly. “It’s around four percent, which usually amounts to around 5 or 10 bucks a year.” “Oh,” she says, rapidly losing interest. “But look,” I say, showing her my online associate report. “Last month, someone clicked through on one of my links and while they were on Amazon, they bought a very expensive camera lens and I got the commission on it: 18 dollars and 48 cents! We could dine out on burritos and beer with that kind of money!” “That’s wonderful!” she says. “Can you print that out so I… Read more →

Twitter: 2009-05-17


RT @andrewgrose: 11 Obscure Google Tricks You Didn’t Know Existed http://www.gilsmethod.com/11obscuregoogletricks # Read more →

A Handful of Editors


It used to be that a handful of editors could decide what was news–and what was not. They acted as sort of demigods. If they ran a story, it became news. If they ignored an event, it never happened. Today, editors are losing this power. The Internet, for example, provides access to thousands of new sources that cover things an editor might ignore. And if you aren’t satisfied with that, you can start up your own blog, and cover and comment on the news yourself. Journalists like to think of themselves as watchdogs, but they haven’t always responded well when the public calls them to account.   A recent American study reported that many editors and reporters simply do not trust their readers to make good decisions. Let’s be clear about what this means. This is a polite way of saying that these editors and reporters think their readers are… Read more →

T.J. Simers Must Die


I thought sports columnists were appointed for life, like Supreme Court justices, no matter how irrelevant they become, and yet I see that the Los Angeles Times has just dumped J.A. Adande. Well, by golly, that’s a good start! I can’t think of a single print columnist, at the Times or elsewhere, who’s remotely relevant anymore. There are dozens of sports websites (not that one — start at Deadspin and follow the links) with at least an order of magnitude more energy, insight and wit than you’ll find in your local print rag, which is why newspapers are going the way of the 8-track tape, the buggy whip and whale oil. The next in line to go at the Times should be fatuous blowhard T.J. Simers. Simers positions himself as a pot-stirring wiseass, and the line on him seems to be that if people don’t like him, he must be… Read more →

Online Map Shootout


The competitors: Windows Live Search, Yahoo! and Google. I was looking at some really nice maps of Washington, DC, last night on Live Search. I’m not totally up to speed on the latest advances in mapping technology, so I wondered if Live Search had totally leapfrogged the competition with this stuff, or if I could do the same thing on the other map sites. Here’s what I found: This is the best view I could get of the Jefferson Memorial on Yahoo! Google is able to zoom in quite a bit closer. But Live Search can do this! Thank you, Bill Gates! The killer feature (obviously) is that Live Search gives you an oblique view into the scene, instead of just a flat, looking-straight-down view. Plus the image resolution is a lot better. Final Ranking: Live Search Google Yahoo! Read more →

Why Craigslist Doesn’t Have Text Ads


The privately held Craigslist has been approached about installing text ads on the site, and the potential revenue is “quite staggering,” [CEO Jim Buckmaster] said. But, Buckmaster deadpanned, “No users are suggesting we run text ads.” — Associated Press Craigslist is an exception to the rule that a lot of Internet companies talk about putting users first, but when it comes down to a tradeoff between what users want and a boatload of money, they go for the money. Read more →



As for Hitler, he comes in for a lot of criticism — much of it justified, in my opinion — but at least he did something with his life. He didn’t just sit around laughing at pictures of cats, like a simpleton. — Harry Hutton Read more →

Thomas Mann: Patron Saint of Bloggers


In the case of Mann and his diaries, what strikes one most is that he obviously felt that absolutely everything that happened to him was worthy of being recorded. . . . [The diaries] give the impression that Mann was thinking ahead to a studious future which would exclaim after each entry: ‘Good heavens, so that was the day when the Great Man wrote such and such a page of The Holy Sinner and then, the following night, read some verses by Heine, that is so revealing!’ — Javier Marias, Written Lives Read more →

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