EppsNet Archive: Kevin Spacey

A Breakdown of Sexual Misconduct Allegations

Another day, another batch of sexual misconduct allegations . . . I would put these into two categories: Allegations that should be adjudicated in a court of law, like rape and anything involving a person below the age of consent. Everything else: unwanted sexual advances, lewd remarks, etc. In some states, like Alabama, the age of consent is 16, so a sexual advance aimed at a 16-year-old in Alabama would be in Category 2. A sexual advance toward a 14-year-old would be in Category 1, even in Alabama. Category 1 Regarding Category 1, I’m hearing things like “We went out for drinks, I invited him home and he raped me, and then on a later occasion, we went out for drinks again and I invited him home and he raped me again.” Or “I went home with him, he raped me, I spent the night, and we had consensual sex… Read more →

Hola, Est├║pidos

Mr. Penn, Mr. Spacey, Ms. Campbell — Thank you so much for coming to visit me. Muchas gracias! Shortly after your visits, 80,000 Venezuelans will gather at the Central University to protest my attempts to expand my dictatorial rule. Eight of these people will be injured when masked gunmen open fire on them. I of course will be shocked by this display of brutality — as shocked as I’ve been since Claude Rains discovered gambling at Rick’s Cafe. The incident will no doubt raise questions in people’s minds as to whether you actually support the armed suppression of free speech, or whether you are just naive simpletons. Regrettably, there will be a writers’ strike on at the time and you will therefore have nothing to say . . . Tu amigo, Hugo Chavez Read more →