EppsNet Archive: Kidnapping

Amber Alerts

7 Jul 2017 /

I got an Amber Alert on my phone last night. The same Amber Alert is posted today on those lighted freeway billboards.

How did we decide that child abduction is the one activity that merits a notification to the entire country?

In this case, the woman in the photo, Kandice Johnson, stole a car at gunpoint with a 16-year-old boy in the back seat.

I’m going to feel ridiculously bad if this ends poorly, but for a 16-year-old boy, being kidnapped by a femme fatale like Kandice Johnson is maybe not the worst way to spend a few hours of your life . . .


Don’t Apologize

27 Apr 2014 /

Joan Rivers Refuses To Apologize For Cleveland Kidnapping Victims Joke

Good for her! I’m tired of people’s phony apologies for doing or saying something they damn well meant to do or say.

In fact, not only did she not apologize, she added an additional zinger:

“One of them has a book deal. Neither are in a psych ward. They’re okay. I bet you within 3 years one of them will be on ‘Dancing with the Stars.'”


Praying vs. Screaming: A Comparative Analysis

7 May 2013 /

Did you hear about these three women in Cleveland who were kidnapped and held in a house for 10 years?

Reunion

They were rescued on Monday of this week when one of the women screamed through a small opening in the front door, “I need help! I need help! I have been kidnapped for 10 years.” Two men in the neighborhood heard her screaming, kicked the door in and the women were able to escape.

(Why it took 10 years to think up the Scream for Help strategy, I don’t know. I wish the reporter had asked about that.)

A childhood friend of one of the women said, “I’m so thankful, God is good. I’ve been praying. Never forgot about her, ever.”

So let’s see . . . 10 years of prayer = no results. Screaming for help = instant results.

I know some wiseass is going to say that prayer did bring results because God sent someone to kick the door in, but did he have to wait 10 years to do it? It’s a good thing the guys who heard the screams didn’t take 10 years to mull over their next move . . .