EppsNet Archive: Movie Reviews

EppsNet at the Movies: Day for Night

Day for Night (1973) Directed by François Truffaut. With Jacqueline Bisset, Jean-Pierre Léaud, François Truffaut, Valentina Cortese.. A movie about making a movie . . . The director says, “Making a film is like a stagecoach ride in the old west. When you start, you are hoping for a pleasant trip. By the halfway point, you just hope to survive.” Highly recommended! Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Out of the Past

Kathie Moffat: Oh, Jeff, I don’t want to die! Jeff Bailey: Neither do I, baby, but if I have to, I’m gonna die last. The absence of sentimentality is essential to the film noir. Everyone was so young in this one: Robert Mitchum, Kirk Douglas. Great black-and-white cinematography and a classic final scene with the girl and the kid at the gas station. Rating: Five stars (out of five) Read more →

HW at the Movies: Hall Pass

Are you kidding?! I’d rather take a shower with my mom than watch this crap. Only an idiot who knows nothing about life thinks that being married or unmarried has anything to do with happiness. You’ll be just as miserable either way, albeit for different reasons. Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies

Thanks to Netflix, I’m catching up on movies that I never got around to seeing. It’s a long list because I don’t see a lot of movies. Almost Famous With the exception of the boy’s mom, there aren’t any interesting characters in this movie. It’s like spending two hours with uninteresting people. The Lester Bangs character doesn’t count because Lester Bangs was an actual person who was interesting in real life. You don’t get credit as a writer/filmmaker for creating an interesting Lester Bangs character. Cameron Crowe seems to have learned his directorial style from an Olive Garden commercial. Great soundtrack. Rating: Blah. The Big Lebowski Look at the scene and ask yourself “Is it dramatic? Is it essential? Does it advance the plot? Answer truthfully. If the answer is “No” write it again or throw it out. — David Mamet This movie has interesting characters and snappy dialogue. I… Read more →

EppsNet Movie Reviews: Slumdog Millionaire

Good story, good music, brilliant editing and cinematography. One of the things I don’t like about movies is that conflict, even in feel-good movies about love and destiny, is too often resolved with violence, whereas much of the dramatic tension in real life stems from the number of people you’d like to physically assault but can’t. Rating: Four stars (out of five). Read more →

EppsNet Movie Reviews: Gran Torino

It’s sad to see Clint Eastwood get old but somebody’s got to do it. It seemed to me as far back as Unforgiven and In the Line of Fire that while other actors were trying to stay artificially young forever, no one else was putting on screen an honest portrayal of what it’s like to be an old man, what it’s like to feel yourself diminished. And that was 15 years ago, when Eastwood was in his early 60s. He’s now 78 and looks it. I was trying to think of another leading actor who’s doing roles where the central fact about the character is that he’s gotten old and tired and scared . . . Robert De Niro? No, he’s still doing the same cops and mobsters roles he’s been doing for decades. Al Pacino? Dustin Hoffman? No. Same roles, plus they’re both around 70 years old with absurd… Read more →

My Dog Reviews Marley and Me

I love movies about dogs! Wait — is Owen Wilson in that? I HATE Owen Wilson! Whenever I meet a new bitch at the dog park, the first thing I ask her is “Do you think Owen Wilson is funny?” And if she says yes, I am OUTTA there. Rating: Two paws down. — Lightning Read more →

HW’s Movie Reviews: The Dark Knight

It was a sickness: this great interest in a medium that relentlessly and consistently failed to produce anything at all. People became so used to seeing shit on film that they no longer realized it was shit. — Charles Bukowski, Hollywood Haven’t seen it. Might see it . . . not sure yet. I’ve seen the trailer though and I’ll tell you something: Heath Ledger is TERRIBLE! That’s not acting! Put the same makeup on somebody else, give ’em a script, let ’em read the same lines . . . there’s a million people who could do the same thing. You don’t think so? You don’t think Heath Ledger knew that? Why do you think he’s dead of an overdose? Read more →

Crazy Eddie’s Movie Reviews

Entertainment for mental patients I was a student at Cal State Fullerton in 1976 when Ed Allaway went berserk, shooting nine of his co-workers in the university library, killing seven. Read more →

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