EppsNet Archive: Names

Fernando and Barbara Ann


I got an email today from a guy named Fernando and I can’t get the song out of my mind . . . Can you hear the drums, Fernando? There was something in the air that night The stars were bright, Fernando. I would not want to have a name that reminds people of a song that they immediately start singing to me my whole life. Like Jude. Or Barbara Ann. Barbara Ann would be a bad name to have . . . Read more →



You call me a Christian, to make me angry and to make yourself feel happy. Others call themselves Christians, to make themselves feel other emotions. Very well, if we are dealing in exciting words, I will call you a devil-worshipper. That should give you an agitation which will please you for some time. — Zabardast Khan Read more →

This Morning at Starbucks


The girl at Starbucks greeted me by name this morning, which surprised me because she’s still pretty new. “How do you remember people’s names so fast?” I asked. She kind of shrugged it off . . . “If I see someone enough times, I remember.” “I know your name, of course. Sophia. But it’s easier for me because they’re are only a few employees to remember.” “And we wear these name tags.” “Yeah, that too.” Read more →

Chuck and Chip


I’d like to work with a guy named Chuck because I like the word “upchuck,” as in “What’s up Chuck?” That’s something I would say a lot. It’s also a dream of mine to work with someone named Chip so every day when one of us went home I could say “Goodbye Mr. Chip.” Read more →

Park Slope Kids’ Names


Park Slope kids' names. pic.twitter.com/moytVBIaIz — Jeff Chu (@jeffchu) January 25, 2015 FYI — Park Slope is a neighborhood in northwest Brooklyn, considered one of New York City’s most desirable neighborhoods. Read more →

4 Links


5 Design Techniques to Incite User Emotion (UX Movement) 5 Modern WordPress Alternatives to Keep an Eye On (Six Revisions) Kafka’s Joke Book (McSweeney’s) Yoonique Baby Names: 2014 Edition (STFU, Parents) Read more →

Little Known Facts About Famous Bluesmen


Blind Willie McTell originally considered the name Spicy Chicken McBites. Read more →

Adolf Hitler in New Jersey


The New Jersey parents who named their boy Adolf Hitler seem like fruitcakes but if being a fruitcake is now a justification for taking your kids away, you could walk through any mall in America confiscating kids left and right . . . Read more →

Help Me


I’m glad I don’t have a name that immediately makes people want to sing a well-known song at me. For example, I was just introduced to a woman named Rhonda . . . Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of


People who name their daughter Khloe. Or any other name starting with a K that really should start with a C. But especially Khloe. Read more →



Did You Know? Shelvin Mack has brothers named Floorin, Roofin and Drywall. Read more →

An African-American Name


My son needs an African-American name for a character he created in NFL Street. “How about Kareem of Wheat?” I suggest. He decides to go with Delondre McWreck . . . Read more →