EppsNet Archive: Overheard

Overheard at a Software Demo


“Look at it, feel it, play with it . . . that will quelch your fears.” Read more →

Overheard at the Bookstore


A gentleman brings a basket of books to the checkout . . . “Do you have the 50 percent off deal?” he asks. The clerk looks genuinely confused. “No,” he says. “Nice try, though.” “I thought it was through the end of the year.” “Are you on the mailing list?” “Yes.” “That’s 25 percent off.” “Oh. Why am I thinking it was 50? Maybe I’m on a special mailing list that gets 50 percent off.” “Maybe you’re on the special list that pays 50 percent more.” Read more →

Overheard at Hearst Castle


“Here’s your wristband for the tour.” “What do I do with it?” Read more →

Overheard at El Cholo


The woman at the next table says to the waiter, “I’ll have the number 6 combo with the chile . . .” She’s struggling with the next word, so the waiter says, “Relleno.” “Right,” she says. The waiter asks if she wants the regular chile or the spicy chile. “Spicy,” she says. I love Mexican food but chile rellenos are a little bit different. I’m not crazy about them. So I can see where he’s coming from when the husband asks her, “Are you sure you know what you’re ordering?” “Number 6,” she says. “I mean, do you know what a chile relleno is?” “Yes.” When the food comes, she asks the waiter, “What am I eating again?” Read more →



“I don’t understand what you’re saying but I believe that you have good intentions . . .” Read more →



HER: Did you get me a card for my birthday? HIM: My god, you are high-maintenance! Read more →

Hard Knocks


— And that concludes my presentation. — It all sounds a bit “academic” to me. — It would be if the School of Hard Knocks were a fully accredited institution of learning. Read more →

Overheard at Souplantation


“The lemon chicken soup is good.” “I don’t like soup. And I don’t like lemon-flavored soup. I like chicken — but not when you dunk it in lemon-flavored soup.” Read more →



HER: Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. HIM: I hate you because you’re a bitch. Read more →

« Previous PageNext Page »