EppsNet Archive: Taco Bell

See You in Hell

8 May 2015 /
Satan

Satan

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE]

Greetings from the underworld!

Friends have asked my opinion of the new Diablo hot sauce from Taco Bell . . .

  1. I love the name!
  2. You call that hot?!

See you in Hell . . .

Diablo


The Day is Off to a Disappointing Start

11 Feb 2015 /

Del Taco in Denton, TX

After I already ordered and paid for my breakfast taco and extra large Diet Pepsi at Del Taco, the girl informs me that they’re out of extra large cups.

“I can’t believe it,” she says. “And I already charged you for it!”

“Hmmm . . . just give me a large then, if you have any large cups around.”

“I’m so sorry. Next time you’re here, I’ll give you a free one.”

“The extra large soda really holds the whole morning together for me.”

“I know, I’m a big soda drinker myself. My boyfriend is too and so is my dad. He lives on extra large sodas.”

“Drinking extra large sodas is one of the great pleasures of life, in my opinion.”

“The large cup feels small in your hand, doesn’t it?”

“It does. I like things that feel big in my hand.”

Very disappointing. This never happens at Taco Bell . . .


False Advertising

14 Sep 2009 /

There’s a sign in the Taco Bell/KFC drive-thru advertising a “Value Drink” for 99 cents. It looks like a pretty sweet deal because the cup is at least three feet tall.

“How big is the Value Drink?” I ask the drive-thru voice.

“16 ounces,” she says.

“Really? It looks a lot bigger than that on the sign.”

“It’s a trick,” she says. “That’s not the actual size.”

“In that case,” I say, “just give me a large Diet Pepsi.”