EppsNet Archive: The Onion

Sadly, Nation Knows Exactly How Colorado Shooting’s Aftermath Will Play Out

20 Jul 2012 /

“The calls not to politicize the tragedy should be starting in an hour, but by 1:30 p.m. tomorrow the issue will have been politicized. Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if the shooter’s high school classmate is interviewed within 45 minutes.”

“It’s like clockwork,” said Gerson, who sighed, shook his head, and walked away.

The Onion

Twitter: 2010-08-21

21 Aug 2010 /
Twitter
  • RT @capricecrane: “Spencer Pratt Writing Tell-All About Ex Heidi Montag.” Chapter One: She marries a douchebag. #
  • RT @TheOnion: Obama To Create 17 New Jobs By Resigning And Finally Opening That Restaurant http://onion.com/a0V23H #

Twitter: 2010-08-17

17 Aug 2010 /
Twitter
  • RT @jdickerson: Breaking News: Person unknown to you did something of dubious distinctIon or is no longer missing or married. #
  • RT @joshcomers: "Everything’s going to be okay." (First lie to self of week). #
  • RT @TheOnion: In Focus: Al-Jazeera Introduces 'Lighter Side Of The News' Segment http://onion.com/dknefU #
  • RT @fredthompson: Obama warns GOP planning to privatize Soc Sec. Very upsetting for him. Interferes with the current plan of bankrupting it. #