EppsNet Archive: Twitter

Twitter: 2011-01-30

RT @eddiepepitone: When shit hits fan here people will be quoting American Idol contestants for inspiration. # Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-28

RT @eddiepepitone: Ancient U.S.A. saying- When mall is open and food court busy, a calm comes over all the uneducated minds. # Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-26

RT @yoyoha: Every woman has a tiny ball of hatred in her heart that is fed by the actions of everyone around them. # RT @capricecrane: Is there a “Your Kid Looks The Same As Yesterday” button on Facebook? # RT @yoyoha: I’m currently eating graham crackers in the shape of little bunnies. This can’t be helping my street cred. # Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-24

I once killed an Italian man in a duel after he accused me of not understanding Dante. # Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-23

RT @celebinrmonolog: 10-YEAR-OLD WILLOW SMITH: Yo, I've paid my dues! Now gimme my deserved stardom, bitches! # RT @theharryshearer: The voice of empire: “Get used to it, world. We’re not going to put up with nonsense.” Duane (Dewey) Clarridge. # Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-22

RT @capricecrane: To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world. And to everyone else, you're just some asshole. # Pet peeve: People who pronounce -th as -f, as in "toof" or "boof" # Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-21

RT @alaindebotton: It's always the scariest people who parade their kids around us to persuade us of their (elusive) humanity. # Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-20

RT @MrsRupertPupkin: My cat tried to knock over my TV this morning. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?! # Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-07

RT @sockelganger: hello table hello rug hello lamp hello window i am lucky to have so many friends # Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-04

Trying to teach my dog to yawn on command when I say "Sleepy?" Has anyone done this? # If a God has made this world, then I would not like to be the God; its misery and distress would break my heart. — Schopenhauer # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-12-22

RT @yoyoha: When technology finally makes me obsolete, I'm going to take a nice long nap. # RT @yoyoha: "I know you're not crazy" is a good thing to say to a crazy person. # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-12-18

RT @eddiepepitone: Greatest achievements- I once made a small lie into a crisis so big that I had to get plastic surgery done and relocate. # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-12-15

RT @kausmickey: The revolution will not be search-engine optimized! # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-12-11

RT @eddiepepitone: Folks remember: just because we are powerless doesn't mean we can't ruin our health and the lives of those close to us. # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-12-04

RT @eddiepepitone: Revised American dream- one day I will have a very small apartment and be out of jail on work release! # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-12-03

Always start off with what's the problem? http://bit.ly/38tweetables # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-11-22

RT @eddiepepitone: Eating blocks of cheese to fend off despair while the wife plots my death. It must be sunday. # RT @serafinowicz: "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died." # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-11-20

RT @eddiepepitone: when my shrink straps me in for electroshock therapy I know it's going to be a good day if the voltage is just right. # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-11-13

RT @AnnCoulter: My new invention: Men's underwear that makes your organ look huge in one of those new airport scanners. # Fun Fact: Spell check changes "eMetrics" to "emetics." # Read more →

Twitter: 2010-11-05

Sometimes homelessness is life's way of saying you need to lose some weight. # RT @pattonoswalt: Sit-ups! Make 'em a habit! #tweetyour16yearoldself # Read more →

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