EppsNet Archive: Vitamins

I Can Count up to Two


I’ve heard that dogs can count up to 4 or 5. I’ve never tried to go that high but I know I can count up to 2 because every morning my owner gives me 2 vitamin tablets and when he gives me the first one I wait for the second one and when he gives me the second one I run off and do something else. Oh this is unexpected! He just dropped a vitamin tablet on the floor so I ate it! Now he’s giving me the first vitamin tablet . . . (Waiting . . . waiting . . .) I’m getting a bad feeling about this. DON’T TELL ME THE DROPPED ONE COUNTS AGAINST MY DAILY ALLOTMENT! — Lightning Read more →

Go Ask Alice


One pill makes you larger . . . A musclehead co-worker is talking to someone on the phone about nutritional supplements: “It changes the metabolism of the . . . en-DOC-rine? . . . EN-do-CREEN? . . . system, so it releases more testosterone.” Yeah, you should definitely take some of that. A product that claims to alter the function of bodily organs you can’t even pronounce. What could possibly go wrong? In fact, you should go to the vitamin store right now and just gobble up everything they’ve got. Did you ever read Alice in Wonderland? She finds a cake that says EAT ME so she eats it. Next thing you know she’s nine feet tall. Draw your own parallels . . . Read more →