Russia to vastly increase internet spying capabilities. I eagerly await Mr. Snowden's principled denouncement! http://t.co/rWFgYz0j05 — Garry Kasparov (@Kasparov63) October 21, 2013 I'm sure a Sakharov Prize nominee like Snowden will bravely stand up to criticize the invasive policies of his new homeland. — Garry Kasparov (@Kasparov63) October 21, 2013 Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Everyone Was Equal
Sorry, but I’m from a place where everything was “shared equally” and it wasn’t as nice as some of you seem to think it would be. — Garry Kasparov (@Kasparov63) October 20, 2013 Or as fellow grandmaster Viktor Korchnoi wrote in his autobiography: “The Soviets were very successful: everyone was equal — equally poor.” Read more →
How to Talk to Anyone: 6 Rejoinders for All Occasions
You’ve got no one to blame but yourself. Just like a typical [man/woman]. I can read you like a book. Why? Because I said so. Who’s sorry now? If I were you, I’d . . . Read more →
And So it Goes
Joe Bell, 48, was walking cross-country from Oregon to New York to memorialize his gay son, who killed himself after being bullied. Bell’s journey began April 20 and ended this week on a two-lane road in eastern Colorado, where he was struck and killed by a tractor-trailer whose driver had apparently fallen asleep. Read more →
Cleaning on the Day Shift
A couple of months ago, the cleaning staff at our office started working during the day, instead of after hours. Whatever improvements were supposed to accrue from that have evidently not come to pass because starting next month, they’re going back to the night shift. What I will miss most about having them around during the day is their impeccable sense of timing in closing the men’s room twice a day for cleaning at the precise moments that I urgently need to use it. Read more →
The School of Dysfunctional Parenting
Specializing in ineffective and destructive ways of relating, a vicious spiral in which the faults of the parents are passed on to the children . . . Read more →
ObamaCare Winners and Losers
Cindy Vinson and Tom Waschura are big believers in the Affordable Care Act. They vote independent and are proud to say they helped elect and re-elect President Barack Obama. Yet, like many other Bay Area residents who pay for their own medical insurance, they were floored last week when they opened their bills: Their policies were being replaced with pricier plans that conform to all the requirements of the new health care law. Vinson, of San Jose, will pay $1,800 more a year for an individual policy, while Waschura, of Portola Valley, will cough up almost $10,000 more for insurance for his family of four. . . . Covered California spokesman Dana Howard maintained that in public presentations the exchange has always made clear that there will be winners and losers under Obamacare. . . . “Of course, I want people to have health care,” Vinson said. “I just didn’t… Read more →
Well, there are fewer limits on what you can promise than on what you can deliver. — Milton Friedman
Newton’s Cradle
Do You Have a ‘Right’ to Health Care?
The general point is that a positive right to health care – no matter how splendid you hold that right to be and no matter how lovely is the provision of that right – requires that its recipients receive at others’ expense the services to which these recipients have a ‘right.’ Someone (or a multitude of someones) must supply those services whose recipients self-righteously insist be supplied as a matter of ‘right.’ This fact is undeniable and inescapable. Note that – although undeniable and inescapable – this fact does not by itself establish a case against treating health care as a right. But recognizing this reality does reveal certain potentially ugly aspects of all this ‘rights’ talk about health care – namely, to exercise your ‘right’ to health care requires that someone else be forced to serve you. Someone else must not merely refrain from interfering in your life and… Read more →
Gay Divorcee Wants $94,000 a Month
Jane Lynch’s ex wants $94,000 in monthly spousal support — MSN TV News You’ve gotta be careful what you wish for. We want to be able to marry our same-sex partners. We want to enjoy the blessings and sacraments of love just like straight people. O-kay . . . do you also want to pay $94,000 a month to your same-sex partner when things don’t work out? Back in the pre-gay-marriage era, Jane Lynch could have ended the relationship with a handshake and perhaps a modest gratuity if she felt like it. People don’t know when they’re well-off. Group A feels put upon in comparison to Group B, wants to be more like Group B, and doesn’t think about having to give up the advantages of NOT being like Group B. As Bobby Fischer used to say, “To get squares, you’ve got to give squares.” Everything’s a tradeoff. Read more →
Interview Tips: You’re a 10 in Everything
One of my least favorite interview questions goes something like this: On a scale of 1 to 10, rate yourself on [insert personal attribute here]. This is a bad question because while some quantities – speed, weight, temperature, earthquake magnitude – do have an agreed-upon scale of measurement, personal attributes like, say, leadership, do not. Person A might give himself a 10 in leadership, while a third party might say, “Oh, I know that guy. He’s a 3.” You might be tempted to answer like this: “I consider myself a good leader, better than most, but I’m humbled by the challenges of leadership, and I’m always learning something new, so I’ll give myself an 8.” Absent any information about how that number is going to be used, I’d say that’s a pretty good answer. It’s honest and reflective. BUT — the question itself is so misguided that I don’t expect… Read more →
Husband Descending a Staircase
The White Lexus Strikes Again
“I just tried to get into my car in the parking lot and I couldn’t open it. Do you know why?” “Let me guess. Do you drive a white Lexus SUV?” “Yes.” “Because you were trying to get into someone else’s car.” “How did you know that.” (Answer here.) Read more →
See You in HEL
HELSINKI (AP) — Would you board flight 666 to HEL on Friday the 13th? For superstitious travelers, that might be tempting fate. But Finnair passengers on AY666 to Helsinki — which has the 3 letter designation HEL — don’t seem too bothered. Friday’s flight is almost full. — “Would you board flight 666 to HEL? Read more →
At the Drive-Thru
“Hi, would you like to try our new [insert product name here]?” “Do you think I’ll like it?” “Uh, I don’t know.” “Then why are you recommending it? Don’t you want me to be happy?” Read more →
If You Quote Poetry at My Death, I Will Haunt You
If you know me, and you outlive me, and you want to say something on the occasion of my demise, please do not quote a snippet of poetry or other literary material, e.g., “He did not go gently into that good night.” Or: “I think Wordsworth said it best . . .” Bullshit . . . Wordsworth did not say it best. Wordsworth didn’t know me. You knew me. Go ahead and say something from the heart if you have something. Keep it real. He was not a good person. He had the most appalling social skills, which is why he had no close friends. After his son moved out, he just unraveled like an old sock. I remember at Jackie O’s funeral, her kids — was it just one kid, or both? I think both — read a poem. A poem! That’s when you really know that your life… Read more →
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not just surrounded by assholes. — William Gibson
The Aliens Have Landed in Irvine
It’s about one in the afternoon at the Irvine In-N-Out Burger. A guy who looks to be in his early 20s comes in wearing a backward baseball cap, dark sunglasses (which he never removes) and — despite a temperature in the high 80s — a pullover sweater. To simplify the storytelling, let’s call this guy Alf. Alf waits in line, places his order, then immediately walks over and stands in front of the pickup counter. The place is packed, and I can tell from looking at the number on my own ticket that there are about 10 more orders ahead of me, and since I ordered before him, there are about 15 more orders ahead of Alf, so there’s no reason for him to be standing at — in fact, leaning on — the pickup counter. After a few moments, the kid at the pickup counter asks Alf what his… Read more →
Taco Warmer
Photo by supjchwa2 “Jack in the Box tacos have to be eaten when they’re hot, so when I buy them at the drive-thru, I also buy a bag of french fries, set the fries on top of the tacos and use them as a taco warmer to keep the tacos hot until I get them home and eat them.” “Do you eat the fries as well?” “No, I don’t eat the fries. I just use them to keep the tacos warm.” “The french fries keep the tacos warm?’ “Right.” “What keeps the french fries warm?” Read more →