Author Archive: Paul Epps

Voting is Overrated

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In California back in 1979 I helped to get the Libertarian Party’s Presidential candidate, Ed Clark, on the ballot. Since then, I’ve had nothing to do with politics, which I’ve come to regard as unseemly. That others can be enthusiastic about this or that politician surprises me in the same way that it might surprise me to learn that there is such a thing as an official streptococcus fan club with a list of dues-paying members. And although I can’t claim never to have voted, I can at least say that I would hate to ever have to admit voting for any of the people I voted for. All things considered I’d much rather exercise what Herbert Spencer calls my "Right to Ignore the State." — George Selgin Read more →

Here is Your Wakeup Call, America: Detroit Just Went Bankrupt

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Detroit used to be known as “the Paris of the midwest” – a city of wide streets, imposing buildings, and home to the great US auto industry. In 1960, it had the highest per capita income in the nation. But decades of decline, racial tension and corruption have brought the motor city to its knees. — The Guardian Highest per capita income in the nation! I did not know that. Anyway, Detroit filed for bankruptcy last week with debts of more than $18 billion. The city’s population has dropped from 2 million in 1950 to 700,000 today, as Detroiters have become fed up with decades of mismanagement and rising crime and poverty. Detroit’s murder rate is at a 40-year high, only a third of its ambulances are in working order, and nearly half its streetlights are broken. Citizens wait 58 minutes for the police to respond to calls, compared to… Read more →

British Humor

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In order for this to have any chance of being funny, you need to know that in Britain, acetaminophen is called paracetamol . . . Q: Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A: Because the parrots eat ’em all. Read more →

Jane Lynch, Gay Divorcee

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Jane Lynch and her wife of nearly three years, Lara Embry, are planning to divorce. “Lara and I have decided to end our marriage. This has been a difficult decision for us as we care very deeply about one another. We ask for privacy as we deal with this family matter,” Lynch told ABC News in a statement. — ABC News This is a great time to be a divorce lawyer. Legalizing gay marriage means more marriages, which means more divorces. Also, emotion equals money in divorce cases. More emotion means more money for lawyers, and gay people are very emotional. In keeping with a stupid but time-honored custom, the couple announces the divorce, then asks for privacy, which they’d be more likely to get if they just skipped the announcement. Read more →

Joyce Carol Oates Gets Slammed

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EppsNet stands behind Joyce Carol Oates in this Twitstorm, in opposition to those who think that while raping women may be a bad thing, what’s really deplorable is freedom of thought and questioning theocracy. In solidarity, we publish a couple of previously unseen (because they’re terrible) photos of the two of us taken with Mark Twain in the Doe Library at UC Berkeley. Read more →

EppsNet at the Movies: Mother

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We rented Mother from Netflix. As I explained to my family before screening it, the movie’s about a crazy Asian woman and her devotion to her mentally challenged son. “You can see why it resonated with me,” I said. “It’s like someone made a movie about our lives!” “You are not a nice person,” my wife said. “Our boy is not crazy.” “No, you’re crazy,” the boy corrected her. “I’m mentally challenged.” That said, I enjoyed the movie, although it contains a lot of profanity, which I don’t like. Director: Cast: IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

Aside

I’d rather be a friend in need than a palindrome.

Banning Racial Preferences in California Helped Everyone

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When racial preferences were banned by the voters in California, there were dire predictions that this would mean the virtual disappearance of black and Hispanic students from the University of California system. What in fact happened was a 2% decline in their enrollment in the University of California system as a whole, but an increase in the number of black and Hispanic students graduating, including an increase of 55% in the number graduating in four years and an increase of 63% in the number graduating in four years with a grade point average of 3.5 or higher. Instead of the predicted drastic decline in enrollment in the system as a whole, there was a drastic redistribution of black and Hispanic students within the University of California system. Their enrollment dropped at the two most elite campuses, Berkeley and UCLA — by 42% at the former and 33% at the latter.… Read more →

Aside

If something smells fishy, it might be a fish.

Happy Fathers Day

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I’m writing this in part to tell you that if you ever wonder what you’ve done in your life, and everyone does wonder sooner or later, you have been God’s grace to me, a miracle, something more than a miracle. You may not remember me very well at all, and it may seem no great thing to have been the good child of an old man in a shabby little town you will no doubt leave behind. If only I had the words to tell you. — Marilynne Robinson, Gilead Read more →

We Know What You Like: Cox

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A commercial for Cox Communications comes on the TV, the gist of which is that no one knows what the young woman in the ad likes. A sushi chef, for example, serves her an oddball concoction that she doesn’t like, and I forget the rest, but you get the idea. “But here at Cox,” the ad goes on to say, “we know what you like.” I say, “She likes Cox.” My kid gives me a look. “C-O-X. Cox. Come on, man.” Read more →

I am a humanist, which means, in part, that I have tried to behave decently without any expectation of rewards or punishments after I’m dead. — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

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