Author Archive: Paul Epps

Sick Day

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A full day of sleep, systematic overdose of cold medicines, and phlegm reduction techniques (like hocking and nose blowing) that tend to be disruptive to people when practiced non-stop in the workplace can really help in battling a tough cold. It’s also a perfect excuse to close your eyes, curl up in a ball and hide from the world, which is my preferred leisure-time activity anyway . . . Read more →

Gary Carter, 1954-2012

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Gary Carter obituary: Baseball Hall of Fame catcher dies at 57 — latimes.com Gary Carter and I went to the same high school — Sunny Hills High School in Fullerton, CA. My freshman yearbook has a picture of a Carter as a senior. Or another way to look at it is that Gary Carter’s senior yearbook has a picture of me as a freshman. That’s all I have on this. RIP Gary Carter. Read more →

We Caught a Break at Chili’s Last Night

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We got to Chili’s around 8 o’clock last night but it was still very crowded. People were waiting outside. “How long is the wait?” I asked the hostess. “About 25 minutes.” I said to my posse, “I’d rather not wait 25 minutes but I could do it if I had to. What do you guys think?” My wife said, “Put our name on the list and we’ll talk about it outside.” “Paul — party of three.” The hostess gave me one of those devices that beep and light up when your table is ready. At the same time, a gentleman came up to the desk to turn in his device. “We can’t wait anymore,” he said. “Maybe you could give us his device,” I suggested after he left. “Where was he on the list?” She went down the list of names. “Second,” she said. “Yeah, I could do that.” “Thanks.”… Read more →

Here’s a Good Mandate

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Remember, we’re supposed to be worrying about skyrocketing health-care expenses. Doubling the number of wellness visits and free pills sounds great, but who’s going to pay for it? There is a liberal dream that by mandating coverage the government can make something free. Here’s a good mandate: Let’s mandate that every time a government official says that the government is going to “help” some category of voter, he or she has to say who they are going to hurt in the same sentence. Because it has to be someone. — John Cochrane, “The Real Trouble With the Birth-Control Mandate” Read more →

Aside

It seems my Emotional IQ is a big number with a minus sign in front of it . . .

Financial Aid Follies

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The FAFSA asks if, since July 1, 2011, the student has been homeless or “at risk of becoming homeless.” Isn’t everyone at some non-zero risk of becoming homeless? I’m going to say “yes” and see what happens . . .   Read more →

Aside

I accidentally jabbed the dog’s allergy injection into my kneecap. Miracle elixir or fatal mistake?

Stay tuned . . .

Love is Fleeting

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I recently bought a collection of short novels by Marguerite Duras from my favorite used book store. Inside the front cover is this inscription: To M—, Because her work influences me so much, and you inspire me so much. Please read and think about me!! Love Always, G— P.S. Merry Xmas XOXO I bought the book for $3.95, so M—- couldn’t have gotten more than a buck, maybe two, for unloading it. Read more →

Crosstown Cup: USC 8, UCLA 3

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The Crosstown Cup was on the line Saturday night. The USC and UCLA hockey teams faced off at Anaheim Ice and the Trojans dominated pretty much as I expected. It was also Senior Night — the last game of the season. One of the Trojans players is graduating with a doctorate in education, one kid is getting an MBA and two kids are graduating with a bachelor’s degree in petroleum engineering. As scholar-athletes, they’re pretty darn good scholars. As athletes . . . let’s say that they were somewhat less good than my kid’s 18-and-under roller team from last season. Speed, puck control, rink awareness — all limited at best. They were a lot better than UCLA though.   The Victory Bell was in attendance. Something I didn’t know is that the Victory Bell is really loud if you’re right next to it. And by “right next to it,” I… Read more →

Is it I, God, or who, that lifts this arm? — Captain Ahab

Reading Emily Dickinson

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I’ll read one [Emily Dickinson] poem every few months — and if it’s one of those baffling ones, that’s all it takes to humble me into putting reason back in the tool box, and sitting still until a more appropriate tool presents itself. — Bonnie Nadzam Read more →

Aside

My margarita saw its shadow. You know what that means? Six more margaritas . . .

Aside

I’m always glad to find that something everyone says is good is really not that good . . .

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