Author Archive: Paul Epps

Field Hours

by  on 
 

It has come to my attention that Northwood High kids can get “field hours” for Environmental Science by visiting zoos and watching movies at the Spectrum. How lame is that? Shouldn’t they have to rescue a seagull or something? Read more →

Voice-Activated Copiers

by  on 
 

We just got new copiers at the office. They have 900 features, which makes it hard for people to figure out how to access the one feature they really want, i.e., making a copy. My office is close to one of the copy rooms, so when I hear someone in there struggling with the new copier, I go in and tell them it’s voice-activated. “Just say your name and the number of copies you want.” “Jodi Smith. Two copies.” Nothing happens. “I don’t think you’re authorized to make copies. Get Debbie down here and have her try it.” Update: We had training classes today on how to use the copiers. I’m dating myself here but I can actually remember when it was possible to operate a copier without a training class. Read more →

Loved or Feared

by  on 
 

Most of what Machiavelli said made sense, but certain things stick out wrong — like when he offers the wisdom that it’s better to be feared than loved, it kind of makes you wonder if Machiavelli was thinking big. I know what he meant, but sometimes in life, someone who is loved can inspire more fear than Machiavelli ever dreamed of. — Bob Dylan, Chronicles Read more →

Aside

I’m dating myself here, but I can actually remember when it was possible to operate a copier without taking a training class.

Aside

Just because a pot calls you black doesn’t mean you’re a kettle. Maybe you’re BOTH pots.

What I do not understand is whether the world really needed you. Who knows? Perhaps one supernumerary less would have spoiled the human tragedy. — Machado de Assis, Epitaph of a Small Winner

SharedVision

by  on 
 

The principal effects of SharedVision derive from the group’s continuous validation that an object of compelling beauty and importance can be, and will be, achieved by its combined thinking and intense, concerted action. Attempting a goal like that typically found in a vision statement of this class of team requires substantial ambition. The SharedVision object is something that each team member would most likely see as impossible to attain on an individual basis, were it not for the ongoing validation and sustained support of the other team members. The object itself is — or at least becomes — loaded with supreme meaning for the team. Nothing is more important. The team’s commitment to attaining the SharedVision object is a passionate one. So animated is the team’s fervor that the only real difference between a shared delusion and a SharedVision is the rational, step-by-step behavior of those experiencing the vision, which… Read more →

What Should I Do With This Information?

by  on 
 

Just after a big fight with my wife, caused by me accusing her of losing something that belongs to me, I found the thing on the nightstand next to my bed. Should I a) Say, “Honey, just to show you how funny life can be sometimes, look what I found!” or b) Take the information to my grave? Read more →

What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now. — Buddha

Aside

Keeping it real like a Happy Meal

Aside

Beginning this day my life shall run like sweet water . . .

Ask the Dust

by  on 
 

You’ll eat hamburgers year after year and live in dusty, vermin-infested apartments and hotels, but every morning you’ll see the mighty sun, the eternal blue of the sky, and the streets will be full of sleek women you never will possess, and the hot semi-tropical nights will reek of romance you’ll never have, but you’ll still be in paradise, boys, in the land of sunshine. — John Fante, Ask the Dust Good book, set in the Bunker Hill area of Los Angeles in the 1930s. You’ll need to up the dosage on your Prozac prescription after you read it . . . Read more →

There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. — Alfred Korzybski

Zero or Hero

by  on 
 

The men, hailed as heroes across the country, will march in no parades. They serve in what is unofficially called Seal Team 6, a unit so secretive that the White House and the Defense Department do not directly acknowledge its existence. . . . Despite the mission’s success, former Seal members acknowledged the precariousness of the raid and the degree of luck involved. “If that thing had gone bad, the conversation you and I would be having would be completely different,” Mr. Shipley said. “There’s only two ways to go in these operations — zero or hero.” — New York Times Read more →

« Previous Page — Next Page »