Author Archive: Paul Epps

A Chicken That Walked Backward

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When I was six I had a chicken that walked backward and was in the Pathé News. I was in it too with the chicken. I was just there to assist the chicken but it was the high point in my life. Everything since has been anticlimax. — Flannery O’Connor Read more →

I Went to Juice It Up for Lunch

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“I’ll have a Chai Tea smoothie with protein.” “Do you want vanilla or spicy?” the girl asked. “They both sound good. Can I do half and half?” “Uh, yeah. Nobody’s ever done that before.” “I’m pushing the envelope.” Read more →

Twitter: 2009-11-04

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To know what one really wants is not comparatively easy but one of the most difficult problems any human being has to solve. – Erich Fromm # RT @Aimee_B_Loved: Now that I have a job, I'm gonna make it DRIZZLE! *throws a stack of ones in the air*…can I please have those back now? # RT @capricecrane: Sean Penn's son was arrested at school for drugs. Chavez & Castro are reaching out to the principal for leniency. # Read more →

eBooks

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I can’t get interested in eBooks. My books are my friends. I also like the smell of books. When I finish reading a book, if I liked it, I give it a new home with my other book friends. If I didn’t like it, I hurl it in the garbage. Can’t do that with an eBook . . . Read more →

Yes We Can!

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KABUL – Roadside bombs — the biggest killer of U.S. soldiers — claimed eight more American lives Tuesday, driving the U.S. death toll to a record level for the third time in four months as President Barack Obama nears a decision on a new strategy for the troubled war. — October deadliest month for US in Afghan war – Yahoo! News We know what you’re thinking, but this is not Obama’s fault. Afghanistan is someone else’s mess, so why don’t you grab a mop? . . . After all, [Obama] has a busy schedule, what with golf games and pitching the International Olympic Committee and date nights and Democratic fund-raisers and health care and the U.N. Security Council and Sunday morning talk shows and saving the planet from global warming and celebrating the dog’s birthday and defending himself against Fox News and all. — Best of the Web Today Read more →

Where’s Montoya?

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Replying to colleague Chris Speilman’s inquiry regarding [Juan Pablo] Montoya’s absence from the top 5 rankings in NASCAR, [Bob] Griese promptly responded something along the lines of “he’s out getting a taco.” Now, you don’t need me to tell you how stupid that comment is – Montoya isn’t even Mexican – obviously as a Colombian, Montoya was probably out dealing cocaine. — Deadspin Read more →

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