A core value of American liberals is the importance of redistributing wealth from the prosperous to others, through highly progressive taxes and transfer payments. Which leads to a question: If redistributing wealth is a good idea for workers, companies, individuals, and families, then intellectual consistency suggests it should be equally valid for institutions like colleges and universities. Right? Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
How the Intelligent Design Hoax was Perpetrated
. . . the proponents of intelligent design use a ploy that works something like this. First you misuse or misdescribe some scientist’s work. Then you get an angry rebuttal. Then, instead of dealing forthrightly with the charges leveled, you cite the rebuttal as evidence that there is a ‘controversy’ to teach. Read more →
Republicans Cause Sneezing?
My son is standing in the kitchen like he’s about to make an announcement. Suddenly . . . “Ah-CHOO!” “Geez, man,” I say, “you just sneeze like that without making any effort to lift your hand up and block it?” “Did the people in New Orleans make an effort to block Hurricane Katrina?” he asks in a loud voice. “NO! They just let it happen and blamed President Bush!” Read more →
Medical Front Office Ass
The job ads on the right were dropped into a business article I was reading last weekend. Evidently the job titles get truncated after 24 characters, which is probably a bad idea, given the unintended consequences . . . Read more →
The Algebra of Poetry
If poetry is reduced to an algebraic equation with one meaning, and only a teacher has the meaning, and you can’t figure it out without the teacher, it’s no fun. And when you become an adult, when you see a poem in The New Yorker, you’ll turn the page and look for a cartoon. You’ll say, ‘I don’t have to work for a good grade anymore.’ — Ted Kooser Read more →
Micromanagement
I don’t know where my 12-year-old kid learned the concept of micromanagement, but he’s launched into a speech on the topic: “This is beyond micromanagement!” he says. “This is proton-level management! No, wait, it’s negative, so it’s electron management!” This is occasioned by the fact that we’ve asked him to stop playing video games and take a shower . . . Read more →
Three Questions Psychopaths Ask Themselves
Is it thrilling? Is it a game I can win? Does it hurt others? Read more →
Lurch to the Right, Lurch to the Left
. . . we don’t need some great lurch to the right or lurch to the left or redefinition of the Democratic Party. — Sen. John F. Kerry Read more →
Fighting Words
The NCAA has put together a list of colleges with “hostile and abusive” team nicknames, including the Illinois Fighting Illini, the Utah Utes and the North Dakota Fighting Sioux. Remind me again why Fighting Illini, Utes and Fighting Sioux are hostile and abusive, but Fighting Irish, with a dopey guy prancing around in a leprechaun suit, is okay? Read more →
Jesus at a Republican Fund-Raiser
I want to say to the meek: Once we finally get rid of the death tax, you’re not inheriting anything. — Jesus Christ Read more →
Sacrilicious
An open letter to the Kansas School Board on an alternative theory of Intelligent Design, i.e., that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Read more →
The Democratic Dilemma
A Democratic shift to the right risks inflaming the party’s Angry Left base, while a shift to the left would surely cost the party whatever support it has left from normal people. — Best of the Web Today Read more →
Whale Cams
The guy in the next cubicle is spending the afternoon looking at animal cams on the web. “Look at this whale cam,” he says. “It’s underwater!” Read more →
Red Shoes
I’m reminded of this line from the movie The Red Shoes: “Life rushes by, time rushes by, but the Red Shoes go on dancing forever.” All of that applies to me, except for the red shoes part. — Jonathan Ames Read more →
Last Request
There’s a company in Chicago that will make “a certified, high-quality diamond” from the carbon of your deceased loved one. “Send me the link to that,” my wife says. I don’t know if a web page is legally binding, but I am stating right here that I do not want to be crushed into a gemstone upon my demise. Read more →
A 12-Year-Old Emails the Pope
Did you know that the pope has an email address? I wonder if he has a blog too? If my son were to send a greeting to the Holy Father, I imagine it would look something this: $71!! $(4r3d 70 (h4!!3ng3 m3 w17h l337 4? w3!! 1 93$$ U j5$7 dun 907 17 1n y4 y0, unl1|{3 m3, wh0 h4$ 907 d4 m4d $|{1!!$ n3d4%, n371m3! U d5n 907 n0 $|{1!! y0, 5 4 $71ff, 4 w4nn4b3, 7h0. u (4n7 (0n741n m3 n3d4y, n0 r34$0n n0 w4y. 1 907 d4 p0w3r, 1m (0n73n7 1n my 4(710n$… 1 907 n0 7r0ubl3 1n $|{00L1n u 4nd n0 7r0ubL3 w17 fr4(710n$. 1f U ju$7 L1$73n 70 m3 4nd j5$7 4lr43dy 91v3 17 up… 1 d4 L337 m4$74 d00d, 1 d4 f47h4. 1m d4 b19 D099, u d4 PUP! lol, lmbo, rotfl, hahahahahaha!!! i rok… Read more →
French Engineering
From Ned Batchelder: Le Viaduc de Millau is the tallest bridge in the world, as measured to the top of the tallest pylon. Well, monsieur, we’ve got some tall bridges in America too! Leave it to the French, though, to build one over land . . . Read more →
The Jennings Boys
I’m dropping my son off at a UC Irvine sports camp. We drive past some construction workers and I heckle them through my rolled-up window so they can’t hear me. “Closest you guys ever got to a college campus, huh?” I say. “They’re probably high school dropouts like Peter Jennings. I hate to speak negatively about the recently deceased, but Peter Jennings was not that bright. He used to say that he learned something new every day, but that’s easy if you don’t know very much to begin with.” “Ken Jennings is smart,” my son chimes in. Read more →
Atkins Files Chapter 11
NEW YORK — The company started by the late nutrition guru Dr. Robert C. Atkins to promote a low-carb lifestyle has filed for bankruptcy court protection, a further sign of the waning popularity of the diet. — Low-Carb Pioneer Atkins Files Chapter 11 Yippee! Maybe common sense isn’t completely dead in America after all. Read more →
Happiness
In the early 1970s, when a friend and I were newly hatched social psychologists, we decided to write a book on happiness. The head of an eminent Boston publishing house took pity on us and, over lunch, explained the facts of life. ‘No one wants to read a book on happiness’, he said kindly. ‘Happy people don’t; why in the world would they want to? They are already happy. Unhappy people don’t want to, either. Why in the world would they want to read about happy people when they are feeling sullen and miserable? Moreover, it’s faintly embarrassing to be seen on a bus or park bench reading a book on happiness. It’s like being caught reading a book on paedophilia. A passer-by will question your motives.’ And so my friend and I went our separate ways; he to write a book on loneliness, and I, a book on anger.… Read more →