My son is reading a biography of John Lennon. Here’s what he got out of it so far: “John Lennon got all Cs in school.” I think his mom is going to take the book away from him . . . Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
A 10-Year-Old Sings The Beach Boys
“And she’ll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the TV away!” “It’s T-Bird . . . not TV.” “What’s a T-Bird?” Read more →
The European Approach
The new Spanish government will soon meet with Germany and France to craft a ‘European’ approach to terrorism. Topic No. 1: How big should the white flag be? Oak or cedar for the pole? — James Lileks Read more →
A Pat on the Head
We come to work, have lunch, and go home. We goose-step in and goose-step out, change our partners and wander all about, sashay around for a pat on the head, and promenade home till we all drop dead. — Joseph Heller, Something Happened Read more →
Thoughts on Starting a New Job
I feel like work gives my life the illusion of meaning. On the other hand, it really cuts into my day. Dilemma . . . Read more →
Lost in the Mind
There can never be defeat if a man refuses to accept defeat. Wars are lost in the mind before they are lost on the ground. No nation was ever defeated until the people were willing to accept defeat. — George Patton Read more →
Fight On!
Photo Gallery: The USC national championship football and women’s volleyball teams are honored by President George W. Bush in a ceremony held at the White House. Read more →
Nice Try, Kid
Depression occurs in up to 10 percent of youth, and 1,883 10- to 19-year-olds killed themselves in 2001. Some 1.8 million teenagers attempted suicide that year, a quarter of them requiring medical attention, according to Columbia University scientists . . . — CNN.com, “FDA issues suicide caution for antidepressants” Out of 1.8 million attempts, only 1,883 successes?! What methods are they employing to get a success rate of 1 in 1,000? That’s not very good . . . Read more →
Rent-A-Book
DAD: What are you reading? 10-YEAR-OLD: It’s a book I rented from the library. DAD: You don’t rent books from the library, you check them out. 10-YEAR-OLD: Whatever. Read more →
Welcome to Southern California
An affordable housing advocate has given up on finding an affordable house in Los Angeles and is moving to Connecticut. “This is the most beautiful place I’ve ever lived in and the weather is fantastic,” he said. “It’s paradise. I just can’t afford to live here.” His annual salary is $80,000. Read more →
Best Explanation of the Spanish Election Results
Even the mere threat of Islamic terrorism has for several decades been very effective at steering European nations’ foreign policy. Going back further consider the Germans in the 1930s and early 1940s. A small minority of people living in Europe had an ideology and the will to use violence to back up that ideology. Without a whole lot of effort or actual force they were able to conquer nearly every other European nation and convince those Europeans to accept major elements of their ideology. European democracies appear strong but apparently are easy to control by anyone who threatens to disrupt the bourgeois comforts of the populace. Nor do Europeans have the internal strength to dislodge violent minorities who’ve gained control of their societies. In the 1940s it was the leveling of German cities by the British and American air forces and Soviet artillery that convinced Europeans of the impracticality of… Read more →
France Weighs In
Sociologist Emilio Lamo de Espinosa says Europeans have been dreaming. Writing in Le Monde (in French), Lamo says Europeans have thought they would be spared because they haven’t supported the Bush administration’s policies. Read more →
John Kerry, International Man of Mystery
I’ve met foreign leaders who can’t go out and say this publicly, but boy they look at you and say, ‘You’ve got to win this, you’ve got to beat this guy, we need a new policy,’ things like that. — John Kerry ‘In terms of who he’s talked to, we’re not going to discuss that,’ spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter said yesterday. ‘I know it would be helpful, but we’re not going into that. His counsels are kept private.’ — The Washington Times, “Kerry fails to back up foreign ‘endorsements’” Read more →
A Brief History of Democratic Statesmanship
Speaking at Columbia University in 1959, a student challenged the 33rd President [Harry Truman], a Democrat, on dropping the second A-bomb. ‘The reason I asked this,’ the student said, ‘was that it seemed to me the second bomb came pretty soon after the first one.’ After speaking testily of ‘Monday morning quarterbacks,’ Truman said simply: ‘I was there. I did it. I would do it again.’ — Daniel Henninger, The Wall Street Journal KERRY: I think George Bush rushed to war without exhausting the remedies available to him, without exhausting the diplomacy necessary to put the U.S. in the strongest position possible, without pulling together the logistics and the plan to shore up Iraq immediately and effectively. TIME: And you as Commander in Chief would not have made these mistakes but would have gone to war? KERRY: I didn’t say that. TIME: I’m asking. KERRY: I can’t tell you. —… Read more →
Mother and Son
“Do you ever listen to me?” “What?” Read more →
I’d Like to Buy a Bowel II
Proving that looks are not always deceiving, here’s a photo of the gentlemen accused in the UCLA grave robbing scandal. Read more →
Mr. October
Henry Aaron never hit 50 [home runs] in a season . . . Bonds hit 73 [in 2001], and he would have hit 100 if they would have pitched to him. I mean, come on, now. There is no way you can outperform Aaron and Ruth and Mays at that level. — Reggie Jackson, expressing his view that “somebody definitely is guilty of using steroids.” Read more →
Zelda Fitzgerald
Nobody has ever measured, even the poets, how much a heart can hold. . . . When one really can’t stand anymore, the limits are transgressed, and one thing has become another; poetry registers itself on the hospital charts, and heart-break has to be taken care of. — Zelda Fitzgerald On this date in 1948, she and eight other patients died in a fire at the Highland Mental Hospital in Asheville, NC. Because they had been locked in their rooms for the night, the patients were unable to escape the flames. Read more →
Song Lyrics That Didn’t Resonate Till Years Later
Living is easy with eyes closed Misunderstanding all you see It’s getting hard to be someone but it all works out It doesn’t matter much to me. — Lennon and McCartney, “Strawberry Fields Forever” Read more →
Better Look Again
20 Alleged Illegal Immigrants Found in LA — Associated Press I would have guessed there were a lot more than that . . . Read more →