Here’s a phrase I’m hearing a lot of lately: “AR-15s and AK-47s.” As in “We’re going to take away your AR-15s and AK-47s.” It really doesn’t make sense to talk about those two weapons together. I’m not a gun expert but among media people reporting on gun issues and especially among politicians presuming to legislate gun issues, the level of ignorance is really appalling. The AR-15 is the most popular rifle in America. It’s a semi-automatic rifle, meaning the action will automatically cycle a new round after each shot, but the shooter must release the trigger and pull it again to fire another shot Granted, the AR-15 looks a lot scarier than older rifles favored by Buffalo Bill and George Armstrong Custer, but the principle is the same: only one round is discharged with each pull of the trigger. In fact, the AR-15 looks like an M16, the military version… Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Not Waving But Drowning
Nobody heard him, the dead man, But still he lay moaning: I was much further out than you thought And not waving but drowning. Poor chap, he always loved larking And now he’s dead It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way, They said. Oh, no no no, it was too cold always (Still the dead one lay moaning) I was much too far out all my life And not waving but drowning. — Stevie Smith, “Not Waving But Drowning” Read more →
Would You Bet Your Paycheck on a Weather Forecast for Tomorrow?
Would you bet your paycheck on a weather forecast for tomorrow? If not, then why should this country bet billions on “global warming” predictions that have even less foundation? — Thomas Sowell (@ThomasSowell) September 5, 2019 Read more →
What is the Goal of Background Checks?
What is the goal of background checks? To prevent murders? The Odessa shooter, to cite one example, couldn’t pass a background check, but he got his hands on a gun anyway. If you’re trying to get a gun for the purpose of murdering one or more persons, why would you care about passing a background check? Has anyone ever said “I was planning to go on a murderous rampage but I didn’t want to do it with an illegally obtained firearm.” So for Odessa, charges would include seven deaths, 19 wounded, plus illegal possession of a firearm?! Is that a deterrent? Read more →
That Can Be Cleaned Up on a Resume
McDonald’s employee filmed choking, punching customer over alleged complaint about cold fries FOX 11 Los Angeles How I would phrase that on my resume: Acted promptly to resolve customer complaints. Read more →
Vaping-Related Deaths Are BS. You Heard it Here First.
Trump administration readies ban on flavored e-cigarettes amid outbreak of vaping-related deaths CNBC Condolences to the victims but do six deaths in a country of 320 million people really represent an “outbreak”? Also, “vaping-related deaths” is bullshit as the article itself says in the first paragraph: The Trump administration is preparing to ban flavored e-cigarettes as federal health officials call for restrictions to combat an outbreak of a mysterious lung disease . . . “Mysterious lung disease.” In the headline, vaping is flat-out killing people; in the article it’s a mystery disease. I’ve read specifically about three of the deaths. One was here in Southern California, in Los Angeles County. The deceased was described as an older adult male, at least 55 years old, with chronic health conditions. A woman who died in Kansas was older than 50 and had a history of health problems. In Minnesota, the state’s “first… Read more →
People I Thought Were Dead
Earl Holliman, actor Sonny Jurgensen, football player Bill Mazeroski, baseball player Vera Miles, actress Pete Wilson, politician Updates Earl Holliman, died 11/25/2024, age 96 Sonny Jurgensen, died 2/6/2026, age 91 Bill Mazeroski, died 2/20/2026, age 89 Read more →
Praying for Protection
Texas state lawmaker calls for ‘praying for protection’ instead of gun reform in wake of mass shooting CNN Let me ask you: what is “gun reform”? Why would it be better than prayer for preventing mass shootings? Pray for protection and if you get shot, take comfort in knowing it was God’s will. Can I get an amen? Read more →
EppsNet Household Hints
Before swinging a refrigerator door shut over the top of your bare foot, make sure the door has enough clearance to actually go over the top of your foot. Read more →
Jim Leavelle, 1920-2019
You don’t know his name, but you know who he is. He’s one of three people in the foreground of one of the most famous photos in American history. Leavelle is the man in the light-colored suit escorting Lee Harvey Oswald through the basement of Dallas Police Headquarters when Oswald was shot by Jack Ruby. Notice the difference in the position of Oswald relative to Leavelle in the photo below, before the gunshot. Leavelle, who was handcuffed to Oswald, said when he saw Ruby with the gun, he tried to jerk Oswald behind him, but Ruby was so close by that time that all he was able to do was turn Oswald sideways. Leavelle died this week at the age of 99. RIP Jim Leavelle Read more →
At the El Pollo Loco Drive-Thru
“Does that complete your order?” “Yes.” “Would you like some chips or guacamole with that?” “What did I just say?” Read more →
If Rip Taylor Had a News Show
This picture is actually from the CNN website, in case you’re thinking I cherry-picked an image to make Anderson Cooper look like a clown . . . Read more →
The New York Times vs. Trump
Slate has published a transcript of what it calls the New York Times “crisis town-hall meeting.” The transcript shows that Times executive editor Dean Baquet seems to fault readers for their failure to understand the Times and its duties in the era of Trump. “They sometimes want us to pretend that he was not elected president, but he was elected president,” Baquet said. “And our job is to figure out why, and how, and to hold the administration to account. If you’re independent, that’s what you do.” This was followed by 75 minutes of Q&A with staffers in which, by my count, every question except one could be summarized as “Why can’t we call Donald Trump a racist more often?” In terms of figuring out why and how Trump was elected, I feel sure that “Can you believe what stupid racists Republican voters are?” moves us further from rather than… Read more →
8Chan
According to the New York Times, at least three mass shootings this year — the one in El Paso last Saturday, the mosque attacks in Christchurch, New Zealand, and the synagogue shooting in Poway, Calif. — have been announced in advance on 8chan. The 8chan site has struggled to stay online as hosting providers no longer want to provide services. If mass shootings are being announced in advance, wouldn’t it make sense to maintain the site online and pay attention to it? Read more →
A Terrific Ordeal
John Berryman said that for a writer any ordeal that doesn’t kill him is terrific. The fact that his ordeal did finally kill him doesn’t make what he was saying wrong. Philip Roth Read more →
Polarizing Ideas
Analyzing the actions and/or writings of mass murderers in hopes of being able to blame one’s political opponents is not an admirable impulse. The El Paso shooter wrote that his views predate President Trump, but I notice that didn’t stop motivated people from blaming Trump and his “polarizing ideas.” If we have to play this game, I think I could make an equally good case for “polarizing ideas” on the left. e.g., “When I’m president, I will decriminalize border crossings. People will be coming in from everywhere and when they get here, you’re going to be paying for their healthcare and education, all the way through college. Oh you’re trying to save up a down payment for a house? That’s too bad. Maybe they’ll take your job too. By the way, if you don’t think this is a good idea, you are a deplorable person. You’re a racist. You’re a white… Read more →
Betsy Ross: American Badass
Unfortunately I won’t be rocking my Betsy Ross sneakers today as Nike is making product decisions based on the hurt feelings of the most sensitive man in America. Hatred of a political party is erasing an iconic (female) figure in the founding of the United States of America. Below is a photo of the Betsy Ross flag prominently displayed at the 2013 inaugural of Barack Obama, of whom I was not a great admirer, but who at least did not hold completely insane views like displaying the original Stars and Bars is an endorsement of slavery. Read more →
The Problem With Van Gogh is He Did Not Know What Sells
Here’s an article by some artistic nobody on the subject of Art That Sells: Top Themes, Subjects, and Mediums for Best-Selling Art. “As an artist,” he says, “I like to know what sells.” Right! Leave the starving artist shtick to some other starry-eyed clod. The article delivers on its promise, enumerating the most popular genres, themes, subjects, media, colors, sizes, etc. Van Gogh, to my knowledge, did not sell a single painting in his lifetime. He did not “know what sells.” It saddens me to think that if only we could reverse the hands of time and make the information in this article available to him, perhaps he could have made something of himself and still been alive today. Read more →
Robotic Artist Has Solo Show at Oxford
This Robot Artist Just Became the First to Stage a Solo Exhibition. What Does That Say About Creativity? Time A robot painter has a solo exhibition on display at Oxford. Van Gogh has asked that his gun be sent to Hell so he can shoot himself again . . . Read more →
Two People Who Look Younger Than 60
The pharmacist, in the process of checking my records, seems to have done a calculation on my age . . . “You look much younger than 60,” he says. “Thanks, so do you.” “I’m 37.” “Well, that explains it.” Read more →