In the fresco The Creation of Adam in the Sistine Chapel, we all fix our gaze on the finger that gives Adam life, but who is that naked girl God is casually yet lovingly caressing with his other hand? Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Happy Birthday, Pope Urban VIII
Pope Urban VIII, the most recent pope to use the pontifical name of Urban, was born on this date, April 5, 1568. He is probably best remembered for his demon-killing exorcisms used to chase from the head of Galileo Galilei the devilish notion that the earth revolved around the sun . . . Read more →
Lightning, 2003-2017
We got Lightning as a Xmas present for our boy in 2003. Things we learn from dogs: Unconditional love Nothing lasts forever Later in life, Lightning lost most of the use of his back legs. He had to drag them a little when he tried to walk. He couldn’t jump anymore and couldn’t go up or down the stairs but he never complained about that. He also lost his eyesight. Never complained about that either. He never got sad or frustrated when he occasionally walked into a wall or a piece of furniture. He had a good mental map of the house and didn’t need or want help to get around. Last year, the vet thought he might have a leaky heart valve but that turned out not to be the case. His heart was invincible all the way. The only thing he ever got sad about was toward the… Read more →
Arguments of the Faith
For six centuries and in several countries, the Holy Inquisition punished rebels, heretics, witches, homosexuals, pagans . . . Many ended up at the stake, sentenced to roast over a slow fire fed with green wood. Many more were subjected to torture. Here are some of the instruments used to extract confessions, modify beliefs, and sow panic: the barbed collar, the hanging cage, the iron gag that stifled unwanted screams, the saw that cut you slowly in two, the finger-stretching tourniquet, the head-flattening tourniquet, the bone-breaking pendulum, the seat of pins, the long needle that perforated the devil’s moles, the iron claw that shredded flesh, the pincer and tongs heated to fiery red, the sarcophagus lined with sharp nails, the iron bed that extended until arms and legs got pulled out of their sockets, the whip with a nail or knife a the tip, the barrel filled with shit, the… Read more →
Defend your right to think. Thinking wrongly is better than not thinking at all. — Hypatia of Alexandria, murdered by a Christian mob in the year 415
The Stick Works Better Than the Carrot
Six days may work be done; but on the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the Lord; whoever doeth any work on the sabbath day shall surely be put to death. — Exodus 31:15 He that blasphemeth the name of the Lord, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall surely stone him. — Leviticus 24:16 I will send out against you the beasts of the field . . . I will chastise you sevenfold for your sins. And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat . . . I will draw out after you the sword; and your land shall be a desolate wild, and your cities shall be a waste. — Leviticus 26 Read more →
Fake News?
According to the Encyclopaedia Brittanica, Herod the Great died in the year 4 BCE. According to the Gospel of Matthew, Herod was the ruler of Judea who ordered the Massacre of the Innocents at the time of the birth of Jesus. Which would mean that Jesus was born at least four years before the birth of Christ . . . Read more →
Indignities
I was at the Japanese American National Museum in Little Tokyo over the weekend. Had to use the men’s room and the only stall available had a broken door latch. In order to keep the door closed, I had to press on it with my foot. Unfortunately, I pressed a little too hard and the door broke through the restraint and flew open in a forward direction. Granted, the Japanese had to put up with indignities at internment camps but that was in wartime . . . Read more →
Jesus and Mo: Facts
Why is Alexa an Improvement?
A neighbor is giving me a tour of his home improvement gadgets . . . We walk into the living room and he says, speaking slowly and distinctly, “Alexa, turn off all the living room lights.” After a couple of seconds, the living room lights dim and go out. “Why is that an improvement?” I ask. “I could have turned the lights off and on 15 times by hand in the same amount of time.” Later, I told my wife about this . . . “Maybe you’re sitting down and you don’t want to get up to turn out the lights,” she suggested. “You want to sit in the living room in the dark?” Read more →
The Grim Reaper Trifecta
It’s interesting (to me) that Chuck Barris and Chuck Berry had very similar names and died within 3 days of each other. Who would be a good candidate for the trifecta here? Marion Barry? Dave Barry? Rick Barry? Barry Williams? Chuck Yeager? Embed from Getty Images Read more →
Chuck Barris, 1929-2017
Chuck Barris was well ahead of his time in recognizing how many Americans are willing to make an ass of themselves on television. The quote below is from the movie based on his book Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. I don’t know if the quote is actually in the book but I include it here nonetheless . . . When you are young, your potential is infinite. You might do anything, really. You might be Einstein. You might be DiMaggio. Then you get to an age where what you might be gives way to what you have been. You weren’t Einstein. You weren’t anything. That’s a bad moment. RIP Chuck Barris Read more →
Monday Night at the Chevron
I like the sodas at Chevron . . . they’re not restaurant quality, but they’re better than the flat, tasteless sodas you get at most other gas stations. On the downside, Chevron as often as not has some donate-a-buck-to-charity shakedown going on at the register. Today the place is plastered with photos of bald children with brave smiles on their faces . . . “Would you like to donate to St. Jude pediatric cancer research?” the clerk asks. “I already donated two dollars last week and they haven’t cured it yet?” Meanwhile, I notice another employee plucking all the hot dogs off the rotisserie with a pair of tongs and dropping them in a trash can . . . “You have to throw those out if they sit too long?” I ask the clerk. “Yes.” “Do you ever pluck a couple off and eat them if you’re hungry?” “No,”… Read more →
Aside
I don’t know how to hike out to windward or what a jib is. I have never owned evening clothes or been to a cotillion.
I Almost Got Into a Fistfight With a Realtor
My wife and I stopped by an open house yesterday . . . after looking around, my wife said something to the listing agent, an oily-haired Chinese guy, about the fact that we’re working with a buyer’s agent and he said, “No agent! You get a better deal with no agent.” “So we cut our agent out of the deal and save some money,” I said. “It sounds like that’s what you’re suggesting.” “Agents charge 2 percent. You get a better deal with no agent.” “OK, but I like to get paid for my work. I’m sure you like to get paid for your work. Why would you suggest not paying someone for their work?” “It’s up to you,” he said. “You can save some money.” “How about if we just talk to the seller directly and cut you out of the deal?” “I have a contract,” he said. “They… Read more →
I’d Like to Believe in the Existence of a Loving God . . .
. . . but I can’t. The quality of evidence is very poor. Do you believe in ghosts, fortune tellers, psychics, werewolves, vampires, astrology, alien visitations . . .? I don’t believe in any of those things, but they’re all out there and a lot of people do believe in a lot of things for which the quality of evidence is very poor. Do you believe that a cow jumped over the moon? I remember reading about it but the quality of evidence is very poor. It seems to be just another made-up story . . . Read more →
Why Should Men (or Women) Have to Pay for Prenatal Coverage?
Illinois rep asks why men should have to pay for prenatal coverage — LA Times Evidently the LAT thinks this a hopelessly stupid question, but why? ObamaCare requires that all health plans cover pregnancy and childbirth, even though pregnancy and childbirth insurance is expensive and many people (including women) don’t need or want it. Why is a man or woman not afforded the option to buy a less expensive health plan without pregnancy and childbirth coverage? Why is that not an option? Even though the LAT frames the issue as a stupid question asked by a stupid white male, why should women in their 50s or 60s or 70s be paying for pregnancy and childbirth insurance? Or women of any age if they don’t want it? Why is this law forcing people to pay for expensive things that they don’t need or want? Read more →
The Things We Have That Go
It was a spring that never came; But we have lived enough to know That what we never have, remains; It is the things we have that go. — Sara Teasdale, St. Louis poetess, who drowned herself many years ago, circa 1933 Or as Jesus used to say, “For he that hath, to him shall be given: and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he hath.” Read more →
A Visit to LACMA: Picasso, Rivera, Modern Art, Renaissance and Reformation
Here are some photos from a recent trip to LACMA . . . We started at the Picasso and Rivera: Conversations Across Time exhibit: From there, we visited a modern art exhibit — The Serial Impulse at Gemini G.E.L — a celebration of the renowned Los Angeles print workshop Gemini G.E.L founded 50 years ago in 1966. For example, here are some black rectangles by Richard Serra: Josef Albers also painted a bunch of rectangles (squares, actually) but took things a step further by using different colors: Ellsworth Kelly really pushed the envelope by using not only different colors but different four-sided shapes (e.g., trapezoids and parallelograms). I had a couple of thoughts on the Gemini G.E.L. exhibit juxtaposed with Picasso and Rivera: Some people need to get serious. Some people should be ashamed of themselves. Rather than end on that note, here are are a couple of pieces from… Read more →
Keep the Channel Open
There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium, and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urge that motivates you. Keep the channel open. — Martha Graham Read more →