It’s Wednesday afternoon at 4:30 PM . . . I’m trying to overnight some documents to Reno, NV. “They won’t get there tomorrow,” I’m informed. “It’s too late. They’ll get there on Friday before noon. So if you don’t want to spend 23 dollars for Express Mail, you can send them Priority Mail for 6 dollars.” “Will 6 dollars guarantee that they arrive on Friday?” “No, no guarantee.” “OK then I have to go with the 23 dollar option. And by the way, why can’t you get documents to Reno by tomorrow? I could personally deliver them to Reno by tomorrow and it’s not even my job.” Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
If My Father Were Alive . . .
If my father were alive he would look at you and he would say, “Well my impression is –” then he would look at you and think “What is the use?” Read more →
Nothing Can Bring You Peace But Yourself
A political victory, a rise of rents, the recovery of your sick, or the return of your absent friend, or some other favorable event, raises your spirits, and you think good days are preparing for you. Do not believe it. Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. — Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Self-Reliance” Read more →
AP Computer Science Revisited
I got a LinkedIn invitation today from a student I taught in an AP Computer Science class a couple of years ago. She’s now a computer science major at UCSB. Several of the kids from that class are now in college as computer science majors. Some of them would have been computer science majors anyway, without the class — they came in already having programming interest and experience — but this young lady was not in that group. She was quiet in class but when I worked with her one on one, she asked a lot of questions. She asked them quietly but she asked. And when I told her to do something a certain way she always asked why. She only has four connections at this time so I appreciate her thinking of me. 🙂 Read more →
It’s Hard to Tell the Violent, Intolerant Fascists Without a Scorecard
Sometimes it’s hard to remember which side the violent, intolerant fascists are on. 🙂 Mario Savio is spinning in his grave (I hope) . . . Read more →
Mary Tyler Moore, 1936-2017
I gave up watching TV about 20 years ago when I realized that for 10 years before that, I hadn’t seen anything I enjoyed watching, just people with strained expressions on their faces saying nonsensical things to each other. My fondest memory of television is the CBS Saturday night lineup that I watched as a kid: All in the Family, The Mary Tyler Moore Show and The Bob Newhart Show, and I will always have fond memories of Mary Tyler Moore. RIP MTM Footnote: Those shows were followed on Saturday nights by The Carol Burnett Show, which I didn’t watch because Carol Burnett was not funny. Not to say women can’t be funny, but it seems like the women with the greatest comedic reputations — Carol Burnett, Lucille Ball, for example — are never funny. To be fair, Harvey Korman and Tim Conway were not funny either. Read more →
Which Shirt Would You Be Afraid to Wear?
Putting your own politics aside, let’s say you have two T-shirts: one with a pro-Trump slogan like “Make America Great Again” and one with an anti-Trump slogan like “Not My President.” Which one would you be more afraid to wear in public? Or to put it another way: which shirt do you think would be more likely to draw the ire of violent sociopaths? Read more →
One Thing We Can All Agree Upon
I don’t know if the Trump inauguration was the most watched inauguration in history but I know it was watched by more people than the Hillary Clinton inauguration . . . Read more →
Strong Opinions on Betsy DeVos
I’m seeing on Facebook that a lot of people have strong (negative) opinions today about Betsy DeVos, who has been nominated as Secretary of Education, despite the fact that 99.9 percent of them had never heard of Betsy DeVos until about five minutes ago. Why do people suddenly have a strong opinion about someone they’ve never heard of? How is this possible? Because they’ve been instructed to have a strong opinion about Betsy DeVos in order to be consistent with the image that they have of themselves and the groups they want to fit in with. BTW I have no opinion about Betsy DeVos at the moment because I had never heard of her until about five minutes ago . . . Read more →
The Washington Post Owes Trump Opponents an Apology
Citing backlash, singer Jennifer Holliday pulls out of Trump inauguration concert — The Washington Post The Washington Post better check its facts because unlike Trump himself, his opponents are broad-minded, tolerant people . . . Read more →
Parenting Blunders Ranked
In other pit bull news, our neighbors across the street, who have a 5-year-old son, just brought home a 1-year-old pit bull from the animal shelter. This is a terrible idea because they don’t know the background of the dog, what is its history with people, adults, children, with other dogs, etc. Of course that’s true of rescue dogs of any breed, but the worst-case scenarios with most breeds don’t include maiming or killing a family member, probably your 5-year-old. Even the most poorly socialized pug, golden retriever, chihuahua, etc., is not going to kill anyone. By the way, I think pit bulls are great dogs but they need to be socialized and trained. I wouldn’t get one from an animal shelter because I don’t know the background of the dog. As parenting blunders go, this is not quite up there with letting your child fall into a gorilla enclosure,… Read more →
Don’t Put a Sweater on a Pit Bull
Police in Florida say a dog named Scarface attacked a family who tried to put a sweater on it. Tampa police say the pit bull mix bit a 52-year-old woman who was trying to dress it Friday and her husband was attacked while trying to pull the dog off her. Police say the couple’s 22-year-old son was attacked while trying to stop the dog by stabbing it in the neck and head. The three people escaped the house and left the dog in the backyard. They ended up in the hospital. — Miami Herald Woman attacked when she tries to put a sweater on the dog, husband attacked when he tries to pull the dog off his wife, son attacked while trying to stab the dog in the neck and head . . . meet your average, run-of-the-mill pit bull owners. Folks, if you feel like you really must put… Read more →
Why Do We Need the Sign?
I saw this in the men’s room of Bright Angel Lodge at the Grand Canyon . . . Why is that sign necessary? Were people complaining, “The toilet water in the men’s room tastes a little off“? “Yes, that’s because it’s sewage. Man, we gotta put up a sign.” Granted, there’s no bottled water sold in the national park (because of the plastic) but there are other options available before you resort to drinking toilet water. Read more →
To Whom it May Concern
I can’t decide if you’re more fatuous than vacuous or the other way around, but you are definitely complacently inane . . . Read more →
2016: The Year in Books
These are the books I read in 2016, roughly in the order listed. I got off to a good start then had a kind of a breakdown later in the year. The ratings are mine. They don’t represent a consensus of opinion. Books of the Year: The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera (fiction) and For the Time Being by Annie Dillard (non-fiction). My Library at LibraryThing Read more →
Debbie Reynolds, 1932-2016
Did Debbie Reynolds Die of a Broken Heart? — The New York Times Debbie Reynolds died one day after her daughter, Carrie Fisher. Correlation doesn’t imply causation blah blah blah but outliving a child must be an unbearable tragedy . . . RIP Debbie Reynolds Read more →
EppsNet Investment Tips
Shares of Warren Buffett’s firm Berkshire Hathaway soared 20% in 2016, helping to boost Buffett’s personal fortune by $12.3 billion – more than any other billionaire in the United States. — Forbes Buy and hold . . . buy and hold. Read more →
Carrie Fisher, 1956-2016
She died from complications of cardiac arrest. Her mother, Debbie Reynolds, is 84 years old and still alive. If I believed in God, I would pray to him that I do not outlive my child . . . My main, and perhaps only, contribution in life is raising a son who surpasses me on every conceivable metric, so that when I’m gone and he’s still here, the world will be a better place. RIP Carrie Fisher Update: Debbie Reynolds died the following day. Read more →
Relative Importance
On Facebook, a mass murder in Berlin is exactly as important as a 1980s sitcom character . . . Read more →
That Was Then, This Is Now
That was then: Top Republicans must reject the ridiculous notion that a national election can be ‘rigged.’ — New York Times editorial, Oct. 18, 2016 This is now: [President-elect] Trump should be leading the call for a thorough investigation, since it would be the only way to remove this darkening cloud from his presidency. Failing to resolve the questions about Russia would feed suspicion among millions of Americans that a dominant theme of his candidacy turned out to be true: The election was indeed rigged. — New York Times editorial, Dec. 11, 2016 Read more →