Author Archive: Paul Epps

EppsNet Movie Reviews: Finding Dory (and Coming Attractions)

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Loved it! Five stars! We saw trailers for some upcoming animated films as well. The BFG and Moana look promising, but the rest — including Ice Age: Collision Course and The Secret Life of Pets — look like non-stop grotesque slapstick. That being said, the audience seemed to find it all pretty funny, so in a “give the people what they want” world, perhaps the filmmakers aren’t entirely to blame . . . although I think it’s not so much a linear cause and effect, but more of a downward spiral. Nine Lives — not an animated movie, but a “man turns into a cat” movie — also looks horrible. Rating: Director: Cast: IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →

Is There an “Anti-Queer” Climate?

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Christian conservatives are responsible for the mass shooting at a gay bar in Orlando because they “created this anti-queer climate,” according to American Civil Liberties Union attorneys. — Washington Examiner Agree that the summer climate in Orlando can be pretty oppressive but it’s just as bad for straight people. Haha, but seriously folks, is there an “anti-queer climate” in America? I don’t see that. Can you think of 10 or 12 recent examples of “anti-queer” behavior that you’ve observed in your own life? Six? One? I can’t. Quite the opposite: If a bakery doesn’t want to put two men on a wedding cake, it’s a national outrage. America loves gays. Who in America is more beloved than Ellen and that Doogie Howser kid? Now if you ask me “Is there an anti-Christian conservative climate in America?” I would say — and I’m neither a Christian nor a conservative — definitely… Read more →

God Asks a Question

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Following the Orlando shootings, a Connecticut congressman says this: The Moments of Silence in the House have become an abomination. God will ask you, “How did you keep my children safe”? Silence. — Jim Himes (@jahimes) June 13, 2016 I fire the question right back at God: “You’re God. What did you do?” Now he may say that he gives us tools to help ourselves, and failing to use them defies his wisdom. But he’s God. He knows when he gives us the tools that we’re not going to use them. And then he tries to pin the blame on us? No, there’s no wriggling out of it, in my view . . . Read more →

How Is “Gun Control” Supposed to Work?

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In Wake of Orlando Shooting, Obama, Others Call for Stricter Gun Laws — WSJ Maybe we should have stricter laws against killing people. Oh we have strict laws against killing people? Having laws against things doesn’t stop them from happening. How are stricter gun laws going to stop mass shootings? How is that supposed to work? I was planning to shoot 100 people but I didn’t want to do it with an illegally obtained gun. Because I might get in trouble with the law. It doesn’t make any sense. Making guns harder to buy or illegal or making certain kinds of guns illegal doesn’t stop anyone from getting them. We have an “assault weapons” ban here in California. The rifles used by the San Bernardino shooters to kill or seriously injure 36 people are illegal in our state. If you’re going to shoot 36 people, why do you care about… Read more →

Doors That Didn’t Necessarily Need to Be Closed

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You know, you spend your childhood watching TV, assuming that at some point in the future everything you see there will one day happen to you: that you too will win a Formula One race, hop a train, foil a group of terrorists, tell someone ‘Give me the gun,’ etc. Then you start secondary school and suddenly everyone’s asking you about your career plans and your long-term goals, and by goals they don’t mean the kind you are planning to score in the FA Cup. Gradually the awful truth dawns on you: that Santa Claus was just the tip of the iceberg — that your future will not be the rollercoaster ride you’d imagined, that the world occupied by your parents, the world of washing the dishes, going to the dentist, weekend trips to the DIY superstore to buy floor tiles is actually largely what people mean when they speak… Read more →

Peter Shaffer, 1926-2016

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Now I go to become a ghost myself. I will stand in the shadows when you come here to this earth in your turns. And when you feel the dreadful bite of your failures — and hear the taunting of unachievable, uncaring God — I will whisper my name to you: “Antonio Salieri: Patron Saint of Mediocrities” and in the depth of your downcastness you can pray to me. And I will forgive you. Vi saluto. — Peter Shaffer, Amadeus Read more →

Be Anything You Want?

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To every little girl who dreams big: Yes, you can be anything you want—even president. Tonight is for you. -H pic.twitter.com/jq7fKlfwGV — Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 8, 2016 And all you have to do is marry a man who becomes president. Inspiring! Read more →

FYI, “Mexican” is Not a Race

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All I’m hearing about the last few days is Donald Trump and a Mexican judge and racism. “Mexican” isn’t a race. It’s a nationality, like “Italian” or “Irish.” It’s a reference to a person’s heritage. Just FYI, everybody . . . Read more →

Could Falling Into a Gorilla Exhibit Happen to Anyone?

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I hope our boy appreciates that his mom and I never let him fall into a gorilla enclosure. He’s 22 now. Anything he falls into going forward is on him. I’m not in the “could have happened to anyone” camp on this. The Cincinnati Zoo has more than 1.2 million visitors per year. Out of tens of millions of visitors, only one has fallen into the gorilla exhibit. A 1 in 10 million occurrence doesn’t fall under the “could have happened to anyone” umbrella in my opinion. Read more →

‘Expert’ Predictions for the NBA Finals

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26 experts give their predictions for the championship series rematch between the Warriors and Cavaliers. — ESPN.com “Experts.” Provide some insight or context if you have any. How does a prediction add to anyone’s understanding or enjoyment of the game? What is the difference between a prediction from an “expert” and a prediction from a random loudmouth drunk at a sports bar? I notice that a large majority of the “experts” are predicting a victory by the favorite (the Warriors), which is the same result you’d get from a bunch of drunks at a sports bar, or a group of dart-throwing monkeys (of course adjusting the monkeys’ targets to provide a proportionally larger area for the favorite). So what have we learned? Read more →

Praying for Startups

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A new Meetup group called Praying for Startups sent me the following email: Are you involved in a startup? Are you a Christian? Meet fellow Christians from all walks of the entrepreneurial eco-sphere, as we share and pray for our teams and the startup community, both locally and abroad. I’d be interested to see some numbers on the correlation between prayer and startup success. I suspect there isn’t any. Also the relative efficacy of prayers to a Christian God vs. Allah, Buddha, Satan, Zeus and all other supernatural beings. Read more →

Fight

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That is the difference between me and you. You pack an umbrella, #30 sun goo And a red flannel shirt. That’s not what I do. I put the top down as soon as we arrive. The temperature’s trying to pass fifty-five. I’m freezing but at least I’m alive. Nothing on earth can diminish my glee. This is Florida, Florida, land of euphoria, Florida in the highest degree. You dig in the garden. I swim in the pool. I like to wear cotton. You like to wear wool. You’re always hot. I’m usually cool. You want to get married. I want to be free. You don’t seem to mind that we disagree. And that is the difference between you and me. — Laurel Blossom Read more →

A Picture of God

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A little girl was in a drawing lesson. She was six, and she was at the back, drawing, and the teacher said this girl hardly ever paid attention, and in this drawing lesson, she did. The teacher was fascinated. She went over to her, and she said, “What are you drawing?” And the girl said, “I’m drawing a picture of God.” And the teacher said, “But nobody knows what God looks like.” And the girl said, “They will, in a minute.” — Ken Robinson Read more →

Has Anything Changed?

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The administrator at the dentist office asks me, “Has anything changed since your last visit?” “Well . . . we’re all 6 months closer to death.” “I meant your contact info and insurance,” she says. “No, those remain unchanged with the passage of time.” Read more →

Aside

I really hope what isn’t killing me is making me stronger . . .

People Having a Worse Week Than You

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Dear Amy: I am a happily married 27-year-old woman about to have my first baby, and I am terrified because it isn’t my husband’s baby. Last spring, another woman and I took a trip to the Bahamas. At the hotel I had a massage and was seduced by the masseur. I tried to resist, but I guess I got carried away. I sort of cooperated once things got started. After some prenatal tests, my doctor recently told me that the baby’s blood type is different from both my husband’s and mine, which means the baby is not his. When the baby is born, it will be very obvious: My husband and I are white, and the masseur is black. I can’t tell my husband; I think that he would leave me. It’s too late for an abortion. What can I do? Please advise me. — “Ask Amy,” Chicago Tribune Read more →

The Ideal Consumer

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The ideal consumer is someone who is anxious, depressed and constantly dissatisfied. Academic studies from the most respected institutions show that sad people are bigger spenders. Why do you think our lives are saturated with images of flawless, unattainable beauty? Read more →

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