Author Archive: Paul Epps

‘Natural’ Product Claims Can Be Murky

 

Whole Foods Markets Inc. last fall started selling a new brand of laundry detergent called Nature’s Power, whose green bottle claims the product is made “with plant-derived soaps.” Its top active ingredient, a commonly used cleaning agent called sodium laureth sulfate, is found in plenty of its mainstream peers, including Arm & Hammer, which like Nature’s Power is made by Church & Dwight Co. Sodium laureth sulfate can be produced from coconut oil, palm oil or petroleum. “It is the same chemical compound, regardless of what it’s derived from,” says Clarence Miller, a professor emeritus of chemical and biomolecular engineering at Rice University in Houston. A Church & Dwight spokesman said the sodium laureth sulfate in Nature’s Power “is plant-based and not the same” as the sodium laureth sulfate found in Arm & Hammer. Whole Foods declined to comment. — WSJ Let’s also note that in addition to being made… Read more →

See You in Hell

 

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings from the afterlife! I love it when people say “Get thee behind me, Satan.” I am behind you. I’m thinking of giving you a shove. See you in Hell . . . Read more →

Ruff Sex

 

I assumed every woman with a dog (not just a wiener dog) is doing this, minus the videos of course . . . Police charge that the South Carolina suspect got intimate with a Dachshund on her 23rd birthday… Posted by The Smoking Gun on Friday, March 25, 2016 Read more →

Just Us Kids

 

Just us kids in the parking lot Out here givin’ it all we got We don’t want to get old and die And there ain’t nothing we wouldn’t try Ya know we could really have it all Our kid’s gonna graduate next fall I could take retirement in 10 years It’s a damn short movie How’d we ever get here? Just us kids hangin’ out today Watchin’ our long hair turnin’ gray Not so skinny maybe not so free Not so many as we used to be — James McMurtry, “Just Us Kids” Embed from Getty Images Read more →

The Art of the Meal

 

We Guarantee You There’s No Problem. Product Name of the Day: "Trump Footlong" https://t.co/KDi9gkH3Io… #naming #startup #trump #chicago pic.twitter.com/JCkST0ZAS6 — Igor Naming Agency (@igornaming) March 13, 2016 Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Joe Lunardi

 

Does anyone have a more useless job than “bracketologist” Joe Lunardi? He spends the entire college basketball season forecasting tournament seedings: this team’s in, this team’s out, this team’s on the bubble, this team is going to be seeded number whatever . . . Then the season ends and the actual tournament seedings are announced, making all of Joe Lunardi’s work meaningless. Either the actual seedings line up closely with Joe Lunardi’s predictions or they don’t, but other than Joe Lunardi, who cares? On that note, here’s an article by Joe Lunardi explaining “how the selection committee got so much wrong” with this year’s brackets: The committee’s performance is slipping, year over year, and it’s my job to point that out when necessary. . . . what you have is a selection and bracketing process that appears to have gone off the rails. Actually Joe, your job, if I understand… Read more →

This Was the Room I Had to Live In

 

This was the room I had to live in. It was all I had in the way of a home. In it was everything that was mine, that had any association for me, anything that took the place of a family. Not much; a few books, pictures, radio, chessmen, old letters, stuff like that. Nothing. Such as they were they had all my memories. — Raymond Chandler, The Big Sleep Read more →

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