Granting the existence of God, a house dedicated to Him naturally follows. He is all-important; it is fit that man should take some notice of Him. But why praise and flatter Him for His unspeakable cruelties? Why forget so supinely His failures to remedy the easily remediable? Why, indeed, devote the churches entirely to worship? Why not give them over, now and then, to justifiable indignation meetings? — H.L. Mencken Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
“And you make your nest as high as the eagles, and take the high ground, and from thence I’ll bring thee down . . .”
Moving Back
Our boy was home recently for a visit . . . he lives in San Francisco now . . . we were driving to dinner one night and his mom, from the back seat, said to him, “You can move back if you want to.” “I don’t think I would move back to Irvine,” the boy said matter-of-factly. “I meant you can move the seat back. I have plenty of room back here.” Read more →
Cashing In
When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don’t see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy. — Joseph Heller, Catch-22 Read more →
A Man’s a Man For A’ That
What though on hamely fare we dine, Wear hoddin grey, an’ a that; Gie fools their silks, and knaves their wine; A Man’s a Man for a’ that: For a’ that, and a’ that, Their tinsel show, an’ a’ that; The honest man, tho’ e’er sae poor, Is king o’ men for a’ that. — Robert Burns, “A Man’s a Man For A’ That” Read more →
In Spite of Ourselves
She don’t like her eggs all runny She thinks crossin’ her legs is funny She looks down her nose at money She gets it on like the Easter Bunny She’s my baby I’m her honey I’m never gonna let her go He ain’t got laid in a month of Sundays I caught him once and he was sniffin’ my undies He ain’t too sharp but he gets things done Drinks his beer like it’s oxygen He’s my baby And I’m his honey Never gonna let him go — John Prine, “In Spite of Ourselves” Read more →
Happy Birthday
I remember my youth and the feeling that will never come back any more–the feeling that I could last forever, outlast the seas, the earth, and all men. — Joseph Conrad Read more →
More Words and Phrases I’m Sick Unto Death Of
Americans are the fattest, dumbest people on earth . . . and because being fat and dumb are remediable given the proper motivation, it’s fair to say that Americans are also the most unmotivated people on earth. This is not to say that all Americans are fat, dumb and unmotivated. There’s a subset of Americans who get up every morning, brush their teeth, go to work, excel at what they do, come home, set the alarm and get up and do it again tomorrow. And take care of their families. These people are carrying the rest of the country on their backs. But for the average American, the best explanation for his or her life being the way it is is likely to be “I’m fat, dumb and unmotivated.” That’s a pretty tough admission to spit out though so most of us look around for something more palatable to sell… Read more →
Are You Smarter Than a Common Core Algebra Student?
You can test your Common Core algebra skills against a 5-question sample test courtesy of the the New York Times. For all the controversy about Common Core, the questions seem pretty basic even for a person with an aging brain (I frigging CRUSHED it with a perfect 5 out of 5), the one exception being a graphing problem that should separate the mathematicians from the wannabes. How hard is New York's high school algebra exam? 5 questions to test your math skills. Posted by The New York Times on Monday, November 30, 2015 Read more →
EppsNet Book Reviews: Humans of New York: Stories
I can’t say enough good things about this book. If you’re not one of the 16 million people following the Humans of New York Facebook page, take a look there to see what the concept is all about. This book would make a great gift for anyone on your holiday gift list who knows how to read. If you’re on my holiday gift list, you’re getting this book. I wish I could give a copy to every person on Earth. Rating: Read more →
A Couple of Random Thoughts on Gun Control
Laws don’t turn crazy people into good citizens. What reasons are there to think that gun laws would make it difficult for anyone to obtain a gun? We’ve had a War on Drugs for decades. How difficult is it to obtain illegal drugs? Read more →
You Tell Me It’s the Institution
Well, you know, you better free your mind instead . . . Read more →
A Student of Life
I’m a student of life. Not an A+ student of life. More of a C- student of life. Read more →
A Riddle
What’s the difference between a student activist and a petulant crybaby? Yeah, I don’t know either . . . Read more →
Happiness is Not . . .
Happiness does not consist of the gratification of your wishes. Anna Karenina, for example, is quite illuminating on this point. Try reading a book once in a while, you’ll pick up on a lot of universal errors like that. Read more →
Throwback Cousin Photos
My wife found a photo this weekend of our son and his cousin Kao. Casey was 5 years old in this photo and Kao was 11. She lives in Thailand but was visiting us in La Verne. I don’t remember this photo. I like it because I don’t remember the overall tenor of Kao’s visit being this pleasant. Casey had never had to share his mom’s attention and he wasn’t happy about it, especially since she talked with Kao in a foreign language that he didn’t understand. Here’s what they look like now (Kao on the left, another cousin, Tammy, on the right): Read more →
Walking in Irvine is Not a Good Way to Meet People
Unlike walking in San Francisco, walking in Irvine is not a good way to meet people. This is what my walk to Starbucks looks like on weekend mornings . . . Read more →
Nov. 12, 1954: Ellis Island Closes
Via History.com: On this day in 1954, Ellis Island, the gateway to America, shuts it doors after processing more than 12 million immigrants since opening in 1892. Today, an estimated 40 percent of all Americans can trace their roots through Ellis Island, located in New York Harbor off the New Jersey coast and named for merchant Samuel Ellis, who owned the land in the 1770s. On January 2, 1892, 15-year-old Annie Moore, from Ireland, became the first person to pass through the newly opened Ellis Island, which President Benjamin Harrison designated as America’s first federal immigration center in 1890. Before that time, the processing of immigrants had been handled by individual states. With America’s entrance into World War I, immigration declined and Ellis Island was used as a detention center for suspected enemies. Following the war, Congress passed quota laws and the Immigration Act of 1924, which sharply reduced… Read more →
What Would Jesus Think of the Starbucks Boycott?
Outraged Christians boycott Starbucks over ‘politically correct’ Christmas red cup design — Mirror Online There’s a line in an old Woody Allen movie: If Jesus came back and saw what’s going on in his name, he’d never stop throwing up. Read more →
“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” — Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland