Author Archive: Paul Epps
Tropical Spiders That Burrow Into Your Torso: Another Reason I Prefer to Just Stay Home
Happy 170th Birthday, Friedrich Nietzsche!
o those human beings who are of any concern to me I wish suffering, desolation, sickness, ill-treatment, indignities — I wish that they should not remain unfamiliar with profound self-contempt, the torture of self-mistrust, the wretchedness of the vanquished: I have no pity for them, because I wish them the only thing that can prove today whether one is worth anything or not — that one endures. Read more →
The Lowlight of My Weekend
I had lunch over the weekend with Robert Hass — Pulitzer Prize-winning poet, UC Berkeley professor and former Poet Laureate of the United States. When I say I had lunch with him, I mean he was one of five people seated at our table. I asked to take a photo with him, which he graciously consented to. I don’t have any photos of myself with Pulitzer Prize winners and still don’t because the photo didn’t come out at all. I completely botched it somehow. So that was probably the lowlight of my weekend, except for Cal getting blown out by Washington on the gridiron 31-7, while four Husky fans sat directly behind us screaming the whole game. Football at Cal unfortunately is like academics at Washington: not terribly distinguished. Read more →
One of Those Things That You Never Forget
We were walking north from Doe Library toward Hearst Ave, where we parked the car. Four girls were throwing Frisbees around on the lawn. I raised my hand in the universally understood “throw it to me” gesture and soon found myself in possession of one of the Frisbees. I flipped it behind my back toward one of the girls, and as the disc sailed majestically over Memorial Glade I reflected that there are some things in life you never forget, and one of those things is how to whip a Frisbee throw behind your back. Read more →
Incan Gold
A couple of coworkers are playing a board game called Incan Gold. “What’s the objective of the game?” I ask. “To decimate an indigenous civilization and plunder its riches?” Evidently Incan Gold requires a lot of concentration because neither player answers my question. “Why is ‘Redskins’ a bad name for a football team but ‘Incan Gold’ is an acceptable name for a board game?” I ask. No response. “Is there a board game called ‘Aztec Genocide’?” No response. “How about ‘Mayan Massacre’?” Read more →
Nobody Reads Books Anymore
This New Coffee Place is Not Going to Make It
Trying out a new coffee place by our house . . . I order an iced coffee and pay $4.50 for the only size they have, about the size of a Starbucks grande, which at Starbucks is less than three bucks. I take the coffee over to the condiment station, taste it and decide to add some sugar. The proprietor surprises me by walking up and saying “Taste it first before you add sugar.” “I did taste it,” I assure him. “Does it need sugar?” “That probably depends on who’s drinking it. If I’m drinking it, it’s going to need a little sugar.” I think I’ll stick with Starbucks. The coffee is cheaper and the staff lets me do whatever I want with it, no questions asked. Read more →
Teaching Computer Science: Diversity Takes a Hit
They told us during teacher training in the summer not to scare off the students. But programming is difficult. There’s a lot of complexity and detail to master. The first couple of programming classes I took, we started off with around 50 people on the first day, and had around 12 left for the final exam. Entry-level programming classes have very high dropout rates. One of our students dropped the class this week, a girl. So much for promoting diversity in computer science . . . Read more →
Teaching Computer Science: Applause
We did an interactive exercise to write a simple program that prints numbers and the squares of the numbers — a for loop, basically. We went around the room with each student providing one element of the loop and me writing them on the whiteboard: for, open paren, int, i, equals, 1, semicolon, etc. I thought it went very well. The timing was good and it was obvious that most of the class understood what was going on. When we got to a girl who’s usually ahead of everyone and knows all the answers, what we needed from her was “curly bracket” but what she actually said was “semicolon” and there was a collective groan from the rest of the class. When the last student said “close curly bracket,” there was spontaneous applause, immediately, before I even wrote it on the board. It wasn’t like a concert at the high… Read more →
People I Thought Were Dead
Johnny Mathis – singer I got an email this afternoon notifying me that priority tickets are now available for a Johnny Mathis concert Nov. 8 at the Segerstrom Center for the Arts. If you’d asked me this morning if Johnny Mathis is still alive, I would have said “I don’t think so.” Read more →
Teaching Computer Science: Asking for Help
I’m not sure students are asking for help enough despite my repeated admonitions to do so. On the first day of class, I said, “Ask for help early and often. If you ask for help when you’re in trouble, you waited too long. Ask for help when things are going well. That’s a good heuristic in this class and in other areas of life as well.” Later I said, “Learn to distinguish between persistence and floundering. Persistence is good. Floundering is bad. Don’t flounder.” Yesterday I said, “You may think, ‘Well, if I was a better programmer, I wouldn’t have to ask for help.’ That’s incorrect. As you get to be a better programmer, you’re given harder problems to work on. I’ve been programming for 30 years — almost — and I ask for help every day.” Honestly I feel like a mental case repeating the same thing over and… Read more →
A Glimpse of Antiquity
Yes, those are World Books and Reader’s Digest Condensed Books. No, this is not an archaeological dig. It’s a furniture store we visited over the weekend. When I was growing up, our family, like many American families at that time, had a set of World Book encyclopedias, so I knew they existed but I haven’t actually seen one in decades. Reader’s Digest Condensed Books are a relic from a time when many Americans still liked to think of themselves as the kind of people who read books but didn’t want to actually read a whole, entire book. Reader’s Digest stripped out all the boring passages about clouds and such that people don’t read and compressed four or five books into the size of one. Today, of course, no one reads books at all, with or without the cloud passages, so Reader’s Digest Condensed Books have joined World Book encyclopedias in… Read more →
Would Jesus Tow My Car?
The lot that I usually park in at the high school was full this morning so I parked across the street at what looked like a large church. I checked in at the school office to make sure that was okay . . . “I couldn’t find a space in the lot out front so I parked across the street,” I said to the woman at the desk. “Is that okay?” “Did you park on the street or at the church?” she asked. “I parked at the church . . . I asked myself, ‘What would Jesus do? Would he tow my car just because it doesn’t belong there?’ No, because he’s all about forgiveness and love.” “Jesus doesn’t love you when you park in that lot. You need to move your car.” Read more →
Joan Rivers, 1933-2014
I’ll miss her . . . she was funny, she pushed the envelope and she didn’t apologize. RIP Joan Rivers Read more →
Teaching Computer Science: Remembering Names
I’m teaching AP Computer Science . . . today was the first real day of instruction. Yesterday was just introductions and housekeeping. The first kid I called on to answer a question was named Sean. The second kid? Also named Sean. “Is everyone in the class named Sean?” I asked. Unfortunately they weren’t. It would have made it a lot easier to remember everyone’s name. Read more →
Teaching Computer Science
Tomorrow is my first day as an AP Computer Science teacher at Corona del Mar High School. It’s a volunteer gig through the TEALS organization. Only about 10 percent of U.S. high schools offer computer science classes and at most of those schools, it counts as an elective, like Home Ec or Wood Shop, not as a class that can be applied toward graduation like math or science. The most popular AP exam in 2013 was US History — 439,552 students took the AP US History exam. Only 31,117 students took the AP Computer Science exam. That’s about the same number as the AP Art History exam. I don’t want to denigrate the study of art history, but given the ubiquity of computers and software and programming in daily life, the study of computer science seems more likely to enable a person to be self-supporting and to contribute to the… Read more →
Don Pardo, 1918-2014
In February 2002, I published a list of people I (incorrectly) thought were dead: Joey Bishop – TV host Ernest Borgnine – actor Red Buttons – actor Kitty Carlisle – game show panelist Alistair Cooke – TV host Buddy Ebsen – actor Glenn Ford – actor Eugene McCarthy – U.S. senator Jack Paar – TV host, “The Tonight Show” Don Pardo – TV announcer Artie Shaw – clarinetist and bandleader Byron White – U.S. supreme court justice Richard Widmark – actor With the death of Don Pardo this evening, all of those people are actually dead: Joey Bishop – died 10/17/2007, age 89 Ernest Borgnine – died 7/8/2012, age 95 Red Buttons – died 7/13/2006, age 87 Kitty Carlisle – died 4/18/2007, age 96 Alistair Cooke – died 3/30/2004, age 95 Buddy Ebsen – died 7/6/2003, age 95 Glenn Ford – died 8/30/2006, age 90 Eugene McCarthy – died 12/10/2005,… Read more →
Last Night at the Beppo
The Buca di Beppo restaurant in Irvine is closing tomorrow. We stopped in this evening for a final meal. It was a sad occasion. Buca has been one of our culinary mainstays for over a decade. Here we are laughing to keep from crying: We had antipasto salad and baked ziti, a very close call over the spicy chicken rigatoni. Read more →
Programmers Don’t Play Polo
On the product page for a book on software development principles, Amazon showed me this: The product on the right — is that a bug in the cross-selling algorithm? I’ve worked in software development for about 30 years and have never met one person interested in the game of polo . . . Read more →