Help Me

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I’m glad I don’t have a name that immediately makes people want to sing a well-known song at me. For example, I was just introduced to a woman named Rhonda . . . Read more →

I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last. — Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

Pizza and Pessimism

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“There’s a slice of pizza missing,” my son announces. When I got home from work, there were two slices left over from last night. I ate one and left one for him. “I calibrated my appetite for two slices,” he says. “The pessimist,” I say, “sees that there’s one slice missing. The optimist sees that there’s one slice left.” Read more →

Lasts

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Last day of high school. Can’t believe it’s all over. No more “what’s due tomorrow?” The boy has a clock radio but he never sets it because he likes to sleep with the radio on. Yes, we probably should have made him get an alarm clock to encourage responsibility and self-reliance, but we didn’t. His mom and I have been waking him up for school for 13 years and this morning was the last time we’ll do that. Read more →

Shooting Hoops

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I was thinking about my overall dad performance over the last 18 years. Did I do enough activities with the boy? My memory is playing tricks on me. I did do a lot of activities with him when he was younger, but as he got older, he did more things on his own and with his friends. MY GOD, WHAT IF I DIDN’T DO ENOUGH ACTIVITIES WITH HIM? “Hey, you wanna shoot some hoops?” I ask. “Okay,” he says. Read more →

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, that is genius. — Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

Where Are You?

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My wife wanted to send a text message — “Where are you?” — to our kid but sent it to one of his friends by mistake. The friend texted back, “Where am I supposed to be?” Read more →

Thomas Jefferson on Weinergate

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Rep. Weiner of New York — one of the 13 original colonies — has been sending photos of his penis to women in Texas, Washington and other points west. When I was president, Texas and Washington weren’t even part of the country, and if I wanted to show a woman my dick, she had to be right there in the room with me.1 And still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as progress. Yes, I could have made a sketch and sent it through the mail but that could take weeks. Read more →

Good Lesson for Mac Snobs

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Just hours after Apple issued a security update to protect Mac users against a rash of scareware attacks, a new variant began circulating that completely bypasses the malware-blocking measure. — “Mac trojan evades Apple’s brand new security fix,” The Register It’s no harder to write malware for Macs than PCs but it’s no easier either. Given the commensurate level of effort, most malware authors elect to target the platform that most people use. Good lesson for Mac snobs and everyone else who thinks Macs are inherently more secure than PCs. Read more →

Education Dollars at Work

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My son, a high school senior, says, “Guess what I’m doing in school tomorrow?” I venture a guess: “Learning things.” “No. It’s actually a trick question. I’ve got a free period, then another free period, then a movie.” “I hope I’m getting a tax refund for this nonsense.” Read more →

Dog Problems

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I got an email today from a confused person who says that “any dog of any breed can have bad temperament, poor training and poor socialization, and can therefore be a problem.” Fair enough, but there are “problems” and then there are problems, and if you don’t account for the size and strength of the breed, you’ve got a pretty silly argument on your hands. In our neighborhood, we have an angry Chihuahua with a crazy owner. The owner is crazy and the dog is crazy. We see them sometimes when I’m out walking Lightning. The dog yaps and yaps and strains at the leash and Lightning just looks at him like, “You’ve got to be kidding.” A poorly socialized Chihuahua doesn’t create the kind of problem that anyone really cares about. On the other hand, there’s another aggressive dog — a pit bull mix, much bigger than a Chihuahua.… Read more →

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