Twitter: 2010-07-15

 

RT @eddiepepitone: poor person- I think I am going to kill myself today. rich person- who am I going to kill today. # RT @capricecrane: They can't convict you if they can't hear you. That's why I only violently threaten my exes over an iPhone 4. # Read more →

The ESPYs Were Funny — 12 Years Ago

 

Did you see the ESPYs tonight? Me neither, but Deadspin has a video of Norm McDonald’s monologue from the 1998 ESPYs. To give you an idea: I saw Jerry Jones backstage. He said, “We’ve got to get back to what made the Cowboys great. Strippers and crack.” The camera goes to Charles Woodson and McDonald congratulates him on winning the Heisman Trophy. First defensive player to win the Heisman. That’s something they can never take away from you. Unless you kill your wife and a waiter. Read more →

I Had a Terrible Day

 

I had a terrible day. I don’t want to tell you why because I don’t want to upset you. If I tell you, it will upset you. Oh all right, I’ll tell you . . . I was driving to work this morning going south on Moulton Parkway when I saw a small animal in the lane ahead of me. I couldn’t tell what it was from a distance but as I got closer I could see that it was a turtle. His shell was about six inches in diameter, about the size of a large pancake or a mid-sized tortilla, and as I drove around him he was lifting his right front foot and getting ready to take a step in an east-to-west direction. Moulton is six lanes across at that point. The turtle had already miraculously crossed three-and-a-half of them but he seemed to me to be a… Read more →

My Idea of a Good Time

 

Raising intelligent, loving, sturdy children! Protecting some good woman! Dignity! Health! Love! Industry! Intelligence! Trust! Decency! High Spirits! Compassion! What the hell do I care about sensational sex? — Philip Roth, Portnoy’s Complaint Read more →

Pug vs. Cow

 

Originally uploaded by Sarah Elaine Photography Pugs are not afraid to go toe to toe with any other animal, regardless of size. Case in point: Here’s a pug staring down an enormous cow. Wait, what? Cows are harmless? Well, the pug had no way of knowing that . . . — Lightning Read more →

Too Rich to Live?

 

If Congress doesn’t change the law soon–and many experts think it won’t–the estate tax will come roaring back in 2011. On a $5 million estate, the tax consequence of dying a minute after midnight on Jan. 1, 2011 rather than two minutes earlier could be more than $2 million; on a $15 million estate, the difference could be about $8 million. — Too Rich to Live? – WSJ.com THANK GOD I DON’T HAVE 5 MILLION DOLLARS! I’d be sleeping with my eyes open from now till New Years, lest I meet my demise at the business end of a pillow stuffed in my face by a greedy heir. IT’S KILL OR BE KILLED NOW! Read more →

Twitter: 2010-07-02

 

Reading: "How To Control Flow Within Your Web Designs – Speckyboy Design Magazine"( http://twitthis.com/zjfary ) # RT @thesulk: Look, there are three ways this can go. My way or the highway. Or surface streets. # RT @eddiepepitone: I wish I had a new product to unveil today like steve jobs does at apple. Instead I just want to say life sucks. # RT @jdickerson: Mel Gibson worries there are groups of indigenous peoples that may die out before he has a chance to insult them. # Read more →

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