Originally uploaded by david888lee. Read more →
The Baby Pugs
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Redundancies
When the government says ‘Islamic militants,’ it sends a message to the public that Islam and militancy are synonymous. — Sohail Mohammed, a lawyer who represented scores of detainees after the 9/11 attacks. No, that’s not correct. What law school did you go to? If Islam and militancy were synonymous, then you could just say “Islamic” or “militants” and “Islamic militants” would be redundant, like “past history” or “unexpected surprise.” So actually, when the government says “Islamic militants,” it sends a message that Islam and militancy are not synonymous, although you can’t help noticing that most terrorists are in fact Islamic . . . Read more →
EppsNet Restaurant Review: Norm’s
I hadn’t been to a Norm’s restaurant in years. There isn’t one in my neighborhood. We discovered this one because it’s close to the new place where my son’s taking percussion lessons. Not only was the boy able to get two eggs, two sausages, two pieces of bacon, half a dinner plate full of hash browns, and two gigantic slabs of French toast with butter and syrup for only $5.99, he managed to polish off the whole thing before I even finished my salad. Excellent value! Rating: Five stars. Read more →
Lit Quizzes
New additions to the First Lines and Last Lines quizzes: First Lines Call me Ishmael. It was a bright, cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen. Buck did not read the newspapers, or he would have known that trouble was brewing, not alone for himself, but for every tidewater dog, strong of muscle and with warm, long hair, from Puget Sound to San Diego. Last summer I happened to be crossing the plains of Iowa in a season of intense heat, and it was my good fortune to have for a traveling companion James Quayle Burden–Jim Burden, as we still call him in the West. The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the retiring fogs revealed an army stretched out on the hills, resting. Last Lines He loved Big Brother. At that, as if it had been the signal he waited… Read more →
Mrs. Bryant Throws the Gyroball
My son’s having some trouble with 8th grade Algebra. When I work with him on it, I can see that he knows the material and he can do the calculations . . . his biggest problem is a fatalistic, let’s-get-it-over-with, I’m-no-good-at-math attitude, which leads to careless errors, and frustration if his first approach to a problem doesn’t work. I encourage him to take a more positive attitude, to go into the next test saying positive things to himself, like “I know this material” and “I can handle these questions.” “But I don’t know it,” he says. “Mrs. Bryant [his math teacher] throws the gyroball every pitch! And sometimes she hits me with it!” What we have here is a classic self-fulfilling prophecy . . . Read more →
OK, So They Were Violent and Crazy
More details are emerging on the crazy naked woman with a gun case . . . Not surprisingly, despite a neighbor’s assertion that Kevin and Joni Park “were not violent or crazy,” it turns out that they were in fact violent and crazy. Read more →
They Were Not Violent or Crazy
Here’s an offbeat local item as reported in the Orange County Register: Kevin and Joni Park were shot and killed in an oceanfront bungalow at the Montage [a Laguna Beach hotel where bungalows start at $2,200 a night] on Sunday where they had checked in with a semiautomatic handgun and a bag of extra ammunition. The Parks were killed in a confrontation with police after officers were summoned to the hotel at 7:40 a.m. by several 911 callers, who reported a naked, “crazy woman” with a gun who was threatening them in Treasure Island Park, at the southern end of the five-star resort. Mrs. Park appears to be naked in the accompanying photo as well. Was she a nudist? The Register is silent on this point. One of the Parks’ neighbors says that “they were not violent or crazy.” No, they were not violent or crazy. I ask you: who… Read more →
Strahan’s Wife Has Garage Sale With His Stuff
Oh, this is rich . . . Michael Strahan‘s ex-wife held a garage sale on Saturday. How often do you see a garage sale outside a $3.6 million mansion? Among the items on sale was a set of cassette tapes on how to make relationships succeed. One diehard Giants fan walked away with two television sets for the bargain price of $100. “I get to cheer for Mike on his TV,” he said. Read more →
The Geometry of Politics
On the heels of my kid’s discovery that his tour group will not be break dancing their way across our nation’s capital, comes another disappointment — his tyrannical math teacher has been added to the list of chaperones. “She’ll probably say, ‘Oh, Casey, I’m glad you’re here. Why don’t you calculate the volume of the White House?’” Read more →
I Have a Dream 2007
My son’s going to Washington, DC, next week with a group from his junior high school. Once there, they’ll hook up with a group from Martin Luther King High School for a 5 day, 4 night Discover DC educational tour. Despite the name, MLK High School is not a predominantly black school, a big disappointment to my kid, who was looking forward to his travel companions “breaking out the cardboard mats and spinning on their heads.” I Have a Dream, indeed! Read more →
Free Advice
I heard a radio commercial today for Robbins Bros., a local engagement ring chain, offering free advice on how to make your marriage proposal a creative and memorable event. I’ll give you some free advice, I thought, although my advice won’t sell a lot of engagement rings . . . Read more →
Good News for Meth Addicts
I’m reading the ads on the back page of the current OC Weekly: DO YOU USE CRYSTAL METH? Alcohol Related Problems? We Can Help You! ERASE YOUR CRIMINAL RECORD I’ve never been a big fan of OC Weekly and now I understand why. It’s written for a target audience of criminals, alcoholics and meth addicts. Good news though if you are in fact a meth addict: according to the ad, a professor at UCLA is doing a research study and handing out up to $1,075 in gift certificates to qualified participants. Note that you don’t get the money in cash because you’d probably just go out and spend it on crystal meth . . . Read more →
The Halo Effect
The halo effect is a cognitive bias whereby people tend to make specific inferences on the basis of a general impression. It was first identified by psychologist Edward Thorndike in 1920. I read an interesting article this weekend by Phil Rosenzweig, the author of The Halo Effect: … and the Eight Other Business Delusions That Deceive Managers, on the halo effect in the business world: Imagine a company that is doing well, with rising sales, high profits, and a sharply increasing stock price. The tendency is to infer that the company has a sound strategy, a visionary leader, motivated employees, an excellent customer orientation, a vibrant culture, and so on. But when that same company suffers a decline–if sales fall and profits shrink–many people are quick to conclude that the company’s strategy went wrong, its people became complacent, it neglected its customers, its culture became stodgy, and more. In fact,… Read more →
Charlie Hustle
For years, Pete Rose denied betting on baseball while he was manager of the Cincinnati Reds. Now he admits to betting on his team every time they took the field. — FOXSports.com Good for him! Managers and players should be required to bet on their own teams. You’d see those assholes running out ground balls for a change, I assure you. Read more →
It Works!
Xkcd will sell you a T-shirt with this slogan on it. My son loves it. He thinks his 8th grade science teacher should get one. “That’s a great idea,” I say, “if he wants to get fired.” “He could just cross out BIZNATCHES and write KIDS instead,” he suggests. Read more →
Stupid People and Their Stupid Dogs
A guy brought a laser pointer to the dog park tonight so his retarded dog could chase the beam around like a nitwit. He tried to get my dog to chase it, but the dog just looked back at him to see where the beam was coming from, which is the intelligent thing to do in that situation. “The pug doesn’t see it,” the guy said. “He sees it,” I explained, “but pugs are too smart to chase light beams.” “What does being smart have to do with it?” Laser Guy asked. “Would you run around the park chasing after a laser beam?” I asked. “You wouldn’t. You know why? Because it’s stupid. You can’t catch it. Chasing after a ball or a frisbee makes sense. I’ve done that myself. But running around after a light beam is just moronic.” Read more →
Santayana: “I Told You So”
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. — George Santayana “Is that a fact?” she said. “Well–I’ve got news for Mr. Santayana: we’re doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That’s what it is to be alive. It’s pretty dense kids who haven’t figured that out by the time they’re ten.” “Santayana was a famous philosopher at Harvard,” said Slazinger, a Harvard man. And Mrs. Berman said, “Most kids can’t afford to go to Harvard to be misinformed.” — Kurt Vonnegut, Bluebeard Read more →
People I Thought Were Dead
Rona Barrett – gossip columnist Gene Barry – actor Orson Bean – TV game show panelist Van Cliburn – pianist Richard Dawson – actor and game show host Bo Diddley – musician Patti Page – singer Jean Stapleton – actress Abigail Van Buren – advice columnist Updates Gene Barry – died 12/9/2009, age 90 Orson Bean – died 2/7/2020, age 91 Van Cliburn – died 2/27/2013, age 78 Richard Dawson – died 6/2/2012, age 79 Bo Diddley – died 6/2/2008, age 79 Patti Page – died 1/1/2013, age 85 Jean Stapleton – died 5/13/2013, age 90 Abigail Van Buren – died 1/16/2013, age 94 Read more →
Some People Should Be Allowed to Work at Their Own Pace
Speaking of motivation, today’s Orange County Register has a story about a guy who really knows — or knew — how to light a fire under his employees. According to the story, Woo Sung Park, a landscaping supervisor, told day laborer Ernesto Avalos that he, Avalos, was not pulling his weight on the job. The pep talk so energized Mr. Avalos that he beat Mr. Park to death with a shovel and a pickax. This happened right here in Irvine! Tragically, one of my rich neighbors is now two men short on his beautification project . . . Read more →