E = mc2, the world’s most famous equation, is 100 years old. According to this BBC article: Einstein showed in a handful of lines that as you accelerate an object, it not only gets faster, it also gets heavier. That in turn makes further pushing less fruitful so that eventually nothing can be accelerated beyond the speed of light. Read more →
Are People Getting Fatter?
My wife’s car has preference settings for each driver. When I drive it, I get in, push a button, and the seat moves into position automatically — no manual effort required. “In the future, people are going to be really fat,” my son says. “People are pretty fat now,” I point out. “They’re going to be fatter because they don’t have to do anything.” “George Jetson isn’t fat.” “He’s kind of fat.” “He’s not fat.” “Maybe I’m thinking of Fred Flintstone.” “Fred Flintstone is fat, but he’s from the past — which kind of discredits your theory, if you think about it.” Read more →
Profiles in Management: The Liar
My boss’s boss resigned yesterday. If I had to sum him up in one sentence, I would say — and I think he would take this as a compliment — that he made Machiavelli look like a goddamn amateur . . . Thus spoke The Programmer. Read more →
Secret Griefs and Fears
The joys of parents are secret, and so are their griefs and fears. — Francis Bacon, “Of Parents and Children” Our son turned 12 in July . . . “I almost cried today,” my wife says. “Every year, I take Casey to the pumpkin patch and I take the best photo, but when we drove by today, he didn’t want to go . . .” Read more →
The Dog Who Has Everything
Today is our dog’s second birthday, my son informs me. “Every day is a birthday for that dog,” I say. “We didn’t get him any gifts,” the boy says. Read more →
Free Advice . . .
. . . for anyone thinking of handcuffing themselves to a tree: If you handcuff yourself to a tree you would die fairly quickly but maybe not as quickly as you would like. Read more →
Great Orators of the 7th Grade
I can’t really hear what my son is holding forth on downstairs — just snippets about tyranny, racism, slavery, Abraham Lincoln, Harriet Tubman, civil rights and child abuse — which means his mom must have asked him to turn off the TV and get started on homework . . . Read more →
Hunter Thompson’s High-Caliber Doldrum-Buster
Rolling Stone magazine has published Hunter Thompson’s suicide note, which he titled “Football Season is Over.” Thompson wrote the note last February, four days before fatally shooting himself in his kitchen. Douglas Brinkley, Thompson’s official biographer, writes, February was always the cruelest month for Hunter S. Thompson. An avid NFL fan, Hunter traditionally embraced the Super Bowl in January as the high-water mark of his year. February, by contrast, was doldrums time. I don’t understand “avid” sports fans — they depress and frighten me — but I’d certainly encourage other sports enthusiasts to consider Thompson’s high-caliber doldrum-buster . . . Read more →
Medical Front Office Ass
The job ads on the right were dropped into a business article I was reading last weekend. Evidently the job titles get truncated after 24 characters, which is probably a bad idea, given the unintended consequences . . . Read more →
The Algebra of Poetry
If poetry is reduced to an algebraic equation with one meaning, and only a teacher has the meaning, and you can’t figure it out without the teacher, it’s no fun. And when you become an adult, when you see a poem in The New Yorker, you’ll turn the page and look for a cartoon. You’ll say, ‘I don’t have to work for a good grade anymore.’ — Ted Kooser Read more →
HW Solves the Problem of Poverty in America
According to a U.S. Census report released yesterday, the nation’s poverty rate rose in 2004 for the fourth straight year. Read more →
Fighting Words
The NCAA has put together a list of colleges with “hostile and abusive” team nicknames, including the Illinois Fighting Illini, the Utah Utes and the North Dakota Fighting Sioux. Remind me again why Fighting Illini, Utes and Fighting Sioux are hostile and abusive, but Fighting Irish, with a dopey guy prancing around in a leprechaun suit, is okay? Read more →
Whale Cams
The guy in the next cubicle is spending the afternoon looking at animal cams on the web. “Look at this whale cam,” he says. “It’s underwater!” Read more →
Red Shoes
I’m reminded of this line from the movie The Red Shoes: “Life rushes by, time rushes by, but the Red Shoes go on dancing forever.” All of that applies to me, except for the red shoes part. — Jonathan Ames Read more →
Remember
As time goes on, we will naturally start to forget what happened on September 11, 2001 . . . Read more →
French Engineering
From Ned Batchelder: Le Viaduc de Millau is the tallest bridge in the world, as measured to the top of the tallest pylon. Well, monsieur, we’ve got some tall bridges in America too! Leave it to the French, though, to build one over land . . . Read more →
The Jennings Boys
I’m dropping my son off at a UC Irvine sports camp. We drive past some construction workers and I heckle them through my rolled-up window so they can’t hear me. “Closest you guys ever got to a college campus, huh?” I say. “They’re probably high school dropouts like Peter Jennings. I hate to speak negatively about the recently deceased, but Peter Jennings was not that bright. He used to say that he learned something new every day, but that’s easy if you don’t know very much to begin with.” “Ken Jennings is smart,” my son chimes in. Read more →
Requirements are Boring
You’re working on the requirements for Project X? Boring. You’ve got someone figuring out architecture for Project Y? Boring. The guys are designing Project Z? Boring. . . . Who has built something that their customer will certify is part of what they want? That’s interesting. Who has shipped something to their customer and the customer is using it? That’s very interesting. — Ron Jeffries Read more →
I Hate Travel
A lot of people seem to love travel . . . I hate travel. I start out thinking I’d be happy if I could just be somewhere else but when I get there, I’m the same person with the same problems, and now I’ve spent all this time and money in another failed attempt to get away from myself . . . Read more →
Driving the Plane
My son is listening to his iPod as we take off from Tampa, heading back to Orange County. We’ve been cautioned to turn off electronic devices during takeoff. Read more →