Today a colleague offered to fix the pain in my shoulder. “Sounds like a problem with the connective tissue,” he said. “I can push it back into place.” “No,” I said. “No no no no no no no.” “Why not? Are you homophobic?” “Not wanting you to push on my shoulder is not homophobic.” Also this guy is not gay. “You don’t trust me?” “I was trying to think of a nice way to say that.” “I have a gift for this. I’ve helped a lot of people.” “You might be able to fix it. Probably you could. On the other hand, you might, just perhaps, push on it the wrong way and I lose the use of my left arm. Not worth the risk.” He then recommended that I go to a health food store and buy some red something-or-other algae to use as an anti-inflammatory. Which I’m not… Read more →
Feb. 5, 1631: Roger Williams Arrives in America
It’s hard to imagine the sense of infinite potential accompanying the arrival on the North American continent in the 1600s . . . Roger Williams came to the Massachusetts Bay Colony in Boston from England. Four years later, in 1635, he was banished from the colony for, among other things, speaking out against the right of civil authorities to punish religious dissension. After leaving Massachusetts, Williams, with the assistance of the Narragansett tribe, established a settlement near Narragansett Bay, located in present-day Rhode Island. He declared the settlement open to all those seeking freedom of conscience and the removal of the church from civil matters. Williams named the community “Providence.” Read more →
What Would We Do Without Consultants?
Digital technology? You mean, like — computers? Read more →
Spartans Are Overrated
Some of my work colleagues participated in a Spartan Race this past weekend, which seems like a good way to acquire a bacterial infection but to each his own. Slightly off-topic but Spartans didn’t fight very well and instead of fleeing, they let themselves all be killed by Persians . . . so I’ve always wondered why Spartans have become synonymous with positive qualities like commitment and toughness and resilience, instead of being remembered as milksops with cool headgear . . . Read more →
The People v. O.J. Simpson
There’s a miniseries coming out called The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story. I’m not going to watch it, not for any singular reason — I don’t watch other TV shows either — but I don’t remember the Simpson trial having a great deal of entertainment value. The trial proved beyond a reasonable doubt that Simpson was guilty, even though a guilty verdict was not returned. Eight of the 12 trial jurors were black women. The prosecution believed that the jurors would identify with the female victim. The defense team believed that the jurors would identify with the black murderer. The defense was right. Conventional wisdom says that anyone who can’t get out of a lengthy term of jury service is not very bright. Only two of the Simpson jurors had a college degree. One never finished high school. The prosecution bored and confused them with DNA evidence. The… Read more →
Michigan Man Dies in Crash While Masturbating to Porn Video
Michigan man dies in crash while driving and masturbating to porn on his phone — NY Daily News Years ago, I was in a public restroom stall in an office building when I felt a mild earthquake. It occurred to me that a bad way to die would be to have a building collapse on you while sitting on a toilet, only to be pulled out of the rubble on the evening news with your pants around your ankles, covered in excrement. But even that ignominious scenario pales in comparison to the egress of Clifford Ray Jones, age 58, who was driving down I-75 in Detroit with his pants off, watching a pornographic video on his phone. His hands were somewhere other than at the recommended position of 10 and 2 on the steering wheel when he crashed his 1996 Toyota and was hurled out the sunroof. It’s embarrassing enough… Read more →
A Different Kind of Voter
[A Republican political operative] described driving down a street on the west side of Manchester[, N.H.], checking out the houses. He noticed Trump signs in front of houses that he knew had never displayed signs before. Seeing that, he began to think that all the talk about Trump appealing to a different kind of voter might be true. — Byron York National elections amount to a choice of which gang of thieves you’d prefer to be robbed by. So of course a lot of people opt out of the process. What is the point? The “different kind of voter” that Trump appeals to is the voter who is equally disgusted with both parties and would prefer to vote for a second American Revolution. Trump appeals to the voter who objects to being told by those in power, “You cannot vote for this outsider, this new person, who has not built… Read more →
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
If you’re a fussy germaphobe who refuses to eat anything with your hands, please learn to chew with your mouth closed. You’re way too annoying to be around already. Resemblance to a real person would be a coincidence. Read more →
I Was Young Then
I wonder if the face of the young man I used to be still lives on in someone’s memory? Read more →
Sarcasm Detection Technology
Quartz: Researchers have developed an extremely effective “sarcasm detector” Sure they have . . . Read more →
Why Don’t Asians Care About the Oscars?
From the Washington Post: Very white Oscar nominations leave Academy president ‘heartbroken and frustrated’ From the Los Angeles Times: Oscars 2016: It’s time for Hollywood to stop defining great drama as white men battling adversity From the Wall Street Journal: Black Actors and Directors Shut Out of 2016 Oscar Race Why don’t Asians seem to care about the Oscar whiteness crisis that continues to rage unabated? Maybe they’re too busy with jobs and school . . . Read more →
Aside
FlowingData: How You Will Die
The 30 Most Anticipated TV Shows
My fellow Americans — I just saw a link to The 30 Most Anticipated TV Shows of 2016. How many TV shows do you people have if thirty of them are the most anticipated?! Some despotic regimes around the world rely on starvation and threats of violence to keep the people in a state of submissive compliance. Here in America, the same collective stupor is effected via mindless entertainments and gadgetry. I’d like to see my countrymen raise themselves out of depression, paralysis and failure and resist this massive government/corporate dystopia — But I might miss my TV programs, said the serfs and lackeys. Read more →
Tony Robbins’ Wealth-Building Tips Seem Pretty Useless
Tony Robbins has 6 tips for Building Wealth Now. Let’s look at each of the tips and apply the “would anyone advise the opposite?” filter to assess the value of Robbins’ advice. Don’t lose money. I’m not kidding, that’s the first tip. Would anyone advise “Lose money”? No. So this “tip” is useless. Look for investments in which rewards far outweigh risks. Would anyone advise “Look for investments in which risks far outweigh rewards’? No. Robbins recommends using “the 5-to-1 rule,” in which the potential returns on an investment are 5 times greater than the potential losses. Why 5? Why not 10? Or 100? Where do you find these investments? I have no idea. Don’t overpay taxes. Would anyone advise “Overpay taxes”? No. Diversify. Would anyone advise “Don’t diversify”? Possibly. There’s a couple of schools of thought on diversification: 1) Don’t put all your eggs in one basket; and 2)… Read more →
Hillary Clinton, Angry Landlady
[Hillary Clinton] is especially poor at the podium, where, when she wants to emphasize an applause line, her voice becomes loud, flat and harassing to the ear. She lately reminds me of the landlady yelling up the stairs that your kids left their bikes in the hall again. Literally that’s how it sounds: “And we won’t let them roll back the progress we’ve made. Your kids left their bikes in the hall.” — Peggy Noonan Read more →
January 15, 1559: Elizabeth Crowned Queen of England
We’re talking about Elizabeth I of course, not the current queen, Elizabeth II. The reign of Elizabeth I (1558-1603), now remembered as the Elizabethan Era, coincided with the flowering of the English Renaissance and is considered the golden age of England. The reign of Elizabeth II, meanwhile, has coincided with the decline of England into irrelevance and is unlikely to remembered by name in a fond way. Read more →
Another Thing I Like About Donald Trump
Embed from Getty Images Democrats don’t like him and Republicans don’t like him either. The overarching theme of American politics is Democrats vs. Republicans, Team Blue vs. Team Red. It’s a freakishly expensive clown show for which we pay trillions of dollars a year to watch the Red clowns and the Blue clowns throw pies in each other’s faces. Nobody really cares about truth, substance or common sense, only whether their team is winning. When Obama replaced Bush, Democrats didn’t care that Obama kept all the same wars going and started a few new ones, kept the torture programs going, kept Guantanamo open, ramped up drone warfare, cozied up to Wall Street, etc., etc., etc. All the things they hated when Bush was doing them were okay now because their team was winning. Elect Hillary Clinton and we’ll get four to eight years of trench warfare against Republicans. Elect a… Read more →
Angel From Montgomery
Just give me one thing, Lord That I can hold on to To believe in this livin’ Is just a hard way to go Read more →
The Savvy Clinician
It’s a little hard to read the subtitle on the book cover but — “Savvy”?! I don’t think I want to work with clinicians who consider themselves “savvy.” Being “savvy” sounds like a poor substitute for actually knowing something. Read more →
Aside
Even at this late hour, I set myself to be a better and simpler man . . .