We were all put on the board somewhere. We make our moves. Stuff happens. Be sure to blame what happens on where you started. That'll help.
— Ron Jeffries (@RonJeffries) March 21, 2014
Hawaiian Shirts
My Hawaiian shirts are like my children . . . I love them all equally.
The Who: The Kids Are Alright … Except the Ones With Ebola
Ebola Outbreaks: Another Reason I Prefer to Just Stay Home
What is the Way?
his is now my way: where is yours?’ Thus I answered those who asked me ‘the way’. For the way – does not exist!
Happy 21st Birthday, Casey
On this date 21 years ago — July 28, 1993 — our son Casey was born.
On his first birthday, we took him to Chuck E Cheese. On his 21st birthday, he’s in San Francisco having dinner with his girlfriend so we have to wish him a happy birthday over the phone.
“I remember the day you were born like it was last week,” I say. “I was an integral part of it.”
“Yeah, so was I,” he says.
Right, but he doesn’t remember it like I do. And I don’t want to mention it on his special day, but he didn’t really do anything either. His mom and I did all the work and yet he gets all the glory and recognition. Think about that.
“Happy birthday. I love you.”
I’d Like to Be Invited
I want to be invited into other people’s lives. I’ve lived a life secluded and sequestered and now I guess what I’d like to do is be invited.
This might not happen.
This might not be my spirit. Maybe I was sent here to go at it alone, and maybe where I offer inspiration and have power is alone.
But if you ask me, I’d like to be invited.
Darth Vader for President
People are so fed up with the gridlock and dysfunction in Washington. Congress is unfortunately unable to even agree on the most obvious kinds of things. I think Darth Vader looks pretty good to a lot of people.
- Are people fed up with gridlock? I’m not. I love gridlock. It’s when those meddling idiots actually do something that life gets worse for everyone.
- Jokes aside, I think Darth Vader would be an exceptionally good president in some respects. Imagine him, for example, in an Israel-Hamas negotiating session: “Whose trachea do I have to crush with my mind to get some peace around here?”
Books, Writers, Bookstores, Libraries
- World’s Coolest Bookstores – CNN Style
- 22 Most Spectacular Libraries in the World – Architecture and Design
- Writers at Work
- Erasing Infinite – Poet Jenni B. Baker creates erasure poetry from David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest, one page at a time. Incredible. Must be seen to be believed.
You Could Be Someone Special
Thanks for pushing me and always preaching to me, “You could be someone special, if you really work at it.” I took that to heart, pops, and look at us today.
Airlines Headquartered in Strip Malls: Another Reason I Prefer to Just Stay Home
Here’s a photo of cameramen standing outside the headquarters of the company that owned the Air Algerie plane that crashed earlier this week . . .
MY GOD WHERE IS THAT?! It looks like a strip mall, or a trailer. CANCEL MY RESERVATIONS!
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
People who say “I don’t take myself too seriously.”
Let people make up their own minds about whether you take yourself too seriously. If you think anyone’s interested in your reflective insights about yourself, then you take yourself too seriously.
The Softball Waivers
Our company’s having an in-house softball game tonight, hosted at a field across the street at UC Irvine . . .
That’s not our actual team in the picture, the difference being that the players in the picture look like they may have been athletes at one time.
I’m not playing because I have a piano lesson tonight. (Actually, I wouldn’t have played anyway because I can no longer do things like run and see that used to serve me so well on the diamond all those years ago. But the piano lesson is a convenient excuse.)
Everyone who is playing had to sign a waiver provided by UCI. Good move. Company softball games are rife with injuries. I picture a scenario like this:
Dear UCI Parents,
We regret that your students are not able to graduate on time, but as you know, we’ve had to cut back drastically on our course offerings since the infamous softball lawsuit of 2014.
Horrific Ziplining Accidents: Another Reason I Prefer to Just Stay Home
How to Not Cry at Work
The most read post on LinkedIn today is “How To Not Cry At Work” with (as I write this) 241,549 views.
The second most read post — and a very distant second with 101,906 views — is “It’s time to stop using recruiting agencies.”
That can’t be good. What does it say about the American workplace that the most pressing issue is how to avoid crying?
One Thing I Can’t Tolerate is Intolerance: Tony Dungy Edition
“What’s your beef with Tony Dungy?”
“He said he wouldn’t draft Michael Sam. He’s not showing the requisite level of tolerance and inclusiveness toward people who are different than he is.”
“Isn’t Dungy himself entitled to tolerance and inclusiveness?”
“Oh, no. No. Absolutely not. Because he’s being different in a way that’s totally unacceptable.”
“So you’re not against intolerance as a matter of principle, so long as the ‘right’ people and groups get ostracized.”
“Right.”
“I don’t remember anyone until fairly recently saying that having openly gay players in the NFL is a good idea. Now that we’ve reached a point in history where everyone in America has a breezy indifference to homosexuality . . . everyone knows people, works with people, has people in their family who are openly gay . . . every single TV show and movie has at least one gay character — NOW people like you are ‘brave’ enough to support the idea, for the same stupid reason you never supported it before: because you don’t want to be on the wrong side of public opinion.”
Overreaction
Her parents must be pretty strict. They reported her missing just because she wasn’t home by 9?
The Last Minute of Your Life
“You should live every minute of your life as though it’s your last.”
“You’d spend the last minute of your life giving other people dopey advice?”
Forgiveness
“This article says that lovers are more willing to forgive a partner for infidelity than for leaving dirty dishes in the sink.”
“Just so you know, I wouldn’t forgive you for either one.”
Lightning Got a Personalized Pup Cup
When I go to Starbucks on weekends I always get a pup cup — a short cup of whipped cream — for Lightning. No one ever asks me about it . . . I just place my own order, ask for a short cup of whipped cream, they write “Paul” on both cups and serve them up.
Today the Starbucks girl was puzzled. “You want a short cup of whipped cream?” she asked.
“A short cup of whipped cream, right.”
She still had a puzzled look on her face. Maybe she thought what I really wanted was cream.
“It’s for my dog,” I said.
“Your dog likes whipped cream?”
“He loves it.”
“What’s your dog’s name?”
“Lightning.”
“Lightning?”
“Right. Like thunder and lightning.”
So this morning, after years of eating pup cups with someone else’s name on them, Lightning got his own personalized pup cup.
