What Would Heracles Have Been?

 
English: Heracles and the Erymantian boar. Sta...
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What would Heracles have been if he had said, “How am I to prevent a big lion from appearing, or a big boar, or brutal men?” What care you, I say? If a big boar appears, you will have a greater struggle to engage in; if evil men appear, you will free the world from evil men.

“But if I die thus?”

You will die a good man, fulfilling a noble action.

— Epictetus, Discourses, Book IV, Ch. 10

Not Even a God Can Save You

 

What greater good do you look for than this? You were shameless and shall be self-respecting, you were undisciplined and shall be disciplined, untrustworthy and you shall be trusted, dissolute and you shall be self-controlled. If you look for greater things than these, go on doing as you do now, not even a god can save you.

— Epictetus, Discourses, Book IV, Ch. 9

A 7-Step Process to Achieving Your Goals

 

Freak out. This is a very important part of the process. Seriously. Look at the list of everything you’ve been trying to work on concurrently, or meaning to work on, and see how infeasible that list really is. Then look at the one or two or three things you really really really want to accomplish, and let yourself soak in the truth: you are not going to get your most valued goals accomplished when you are trying to do this many things.

You Are at Peace With All Men

 

Why do you not come forward and openly proclaim that you are at peace with all men, whatever they do, and that you laugh above all at those who think that they are harming you? saying, “These slaves do not know who I am, nor where to find what is good or bad for me, for they have no way of getting at my position.”

— Epictetus, Discourses, Book IV, Ch. 5

Because You Asked about the Line between Prose and Poetry

 

Sparrows were feeding in a freezing drizzle
That while you watched turned into pieces of snow
Riding a gradient invisible
From silver aslant to random, white, and slow.
There came a moment that you couldn’t tell.
And then they clearly flew instead of fell.

— Howard Nemerov

2011: The Year in Books

 

These are the books I read in 2011, roughly in the order listed. The ratings and tags are mine. They don’t represent a consensus of opinion.

Best Novel of the Year: A Fan’s Notes by Frederick Exley

Best Non-Fiction of the Year: Fooled by Randomness by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

The True Cynic

 
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“Look at me, I have no house or city, property or slave: I sleep on the ground, I have no wife or children, no miserable palace, but only earth and sky and one poor cloak. Yet what do I lack? Am I not quit of pain and fear, am I not free? When has any of you ever seen me failing to get what I will to get, or falling into what I will to avoid? When did I blame God or man, when did I accuse any? Has any of you seen me with a gloomy face? How do I meet those of whom you stand in fear and awe? Do I not meet them as slaves? Who that sees me but thinks that he sees his king and master?” There you have the true Cynic’s words; this is his character, and scheme of life.

— Epictetus, Discourses Ch. 22

Overheard at the Bookstore

 
Bookstore in Florence, Italy
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A gentleman brings a basket of books to the checkout . . .

“Do you have the 50 percent off deal?” he asks.

The clerk looks genuinely confused.

“No,” he says. “Nice try, though.”

“I thought it was through the end of the year.”

“Are you on the mailing list?”

“Yes.”

“That’s 25 percent off.”

“Oh. Why am I thinking it was 50? Maybe I’m on a special mailing list that gets 50 percent off.”

“Maybe you’re on the special list that pays 50 percent more.”

Angry Illiterates Shouldn’t Work at Bookstores

 

There’s no one behind the customer service counter at Barnes and Noble but there is a woman doing something with the books in front of the counter . . .

“Do you work here?” I ask.

“Yes,” she says, but not in a friendly way . . . more like yes, I work here but I regret it.

‘I’m looking for The Book of Holiday Awesome,” I say.

“I’ve never heard of that,” she says.

I don’t care if she’s heard of it. I just want to know if they have a copy of it on hand.

“Do you know the author?” she asks.

“No.”

She types a couple of things into the computer. “Nothing is coming up,” she says.

It’s a popular book so something should be coming up, even if it’s just to say they don’t have it in stock.

I lean over the counter to see what she’s typed in the search box. Here it is: the book of holiday awsum.

Do Not Withhold the Truth

 
Epictetus
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Did Laius obey Apollo? Did he not go away in his drunken stupor and dismiss the oracle from his mind? What then? Did Apollo withhold the truth from him for that reason? Indeed I do not know whether you will obey me or not, but Apollo knew most certainly that Laius would not obey, and yet he spoke. Why did he speak? Nay, why is he Apollo, why does he give oracles, why has he set himself in this position, to be a Prophet and a Fountain of truth, so that men from all the world come to him? Why is “Know thyself” written up over his shrine, though no one understands it?

— Epictetus, Discourses, Book III, Ch. 1

Aside

There is no suffering, no cause of suffering, no end to suffering, no path to follow. There is no attainment of wisdom, and no wisdom to attain. Byeeeeeeee

Top 5 Creepy and Sexist Christmas Songs

 

Maybe you can use them as a way to engage in a conversation about sexism with your friends and family over the holidays!

For example, it is NOT okay to suggest that all a woman wants for Christmas is a man (I’m looking at you, Mariah Carey). Or that women are materialistic and shallow and want lots of accoutrements.

Except earrings, obviously.